I frown at her rudeness, then notice a box of tampons in the bag.Oh…Nothing like being caught unaware and the bathroom’s out of supplies for Aunt Flo.
I turn back. Josh is holding the elevator for me. I shoot him a sidelong glance, unsure why he’s suddenly being polite now. “Thank you,” I murmur, then step inside the car.
As it descends, I realizeIhaven’t bought any tampons in a while—
No. I haven’t had a period since Bryce crashed my wedding…
My blood cools, the coffee and cupcake congealing into a nauseating lump in my gut. But there’s no way I can be pregnant. Bryce and I were careful. He always used protection. And I’m pretty sure he would have said something if a rubber had ripped or anything…
Stress. It must be the stress. I’ve skipped periods before when I was in the middle of high-stakes marketing campaigns at work. And my life has been anything but smooth sailing with Zoe and all her insanity.
But things have been calmer since I kissed Bryce three weeks ago.Still, that doesn’t mean the effect of the stress disappeared completely, right?
I stop by a pharmacy on the way and pick up a pregnancy test kit and a box of tampons. The former just for reassurance, and the latter for when Aunt Flo decides to visit again.
Back at home, I stash the tampons in the bathroom cabinet under the sink, then tap my palm with the test. I should pee, but can’t seem to squeeze out any fluid. I gulp down two glasses of water and start pacing.
We’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t get pregnant.
The words ring in my head. My feet move faster, but I can’t shake off the chilly film of anxiety.Come on, Fiona. I’m nervous for nothing. Why would my body produce a baby at the worst possible time?
Because your life is full of absolutely shitty timing? This is the other shoe dropping.
I cover my ears.No, I’m not listening to negativity. Positivity only, please.
Finally, I sit down on the toilet and perform the test. The seconds tick by so slowly that I can’t help but start pacing again. Finally, I look down at the results box.Two lines.What does that mean? I flip the test, but the back doesn’t say.
I grab the instruction sheet for an explanation.Two lines means pregnant.
I press my knuckles against my mouth, the sharp edges of my teeth digging into my skin. No way am I with child. This has to be a joke. I look at the sheet again.If there are two lines, it indicates pregnancy.
Just how reliable is this test? I skim the rest of the paper. It proudly claims the test is ninety-nine percent accurate.
Bullshit. What about the one percent, huh?I could be that. Or this particular test is defective. Could happen. Wait a few weeks and the company will do a huge recall. Bet it was made in some super-sketchy place with no manufacturing standards to speak of.
I drop the test next to the sink. This is a damn lie. I’m going to prove it.
Grabbing my purse, I run out to the Maybach and get in. I’ll buy another test, and this time I’m going to hit a different pharmacy, just to be sure.Andgrab a test produced by a different company. Ideally one in the U.S.A. If not, Germany or Japan will do as well.
My teeth cut into my knuckles as I press my hand over my mouth to contain a scream.
We’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t get pregnant.
But what happens if Iampregnant? Are Bryce and I not going to be fine? Will we fight? Argue? Never speak to each other again?
I want to tell Bryce the whole truth about what happened with Jude today, and nowthis…
I rub my forehead. But if I’m really pregnant, it isn’t something I can hide. My palms slicken with clammy sweat. What am I going to do?
What’s going to happen to my baby?
Bryce doesn’t want it. So obviously he won’t recognize it as his. Will he bother giving a Huxley family cane to the baby, to let it know it’ll be under the family’s protection? Or will he turn his back on it?
What about me? I don’t want to throw it away the way my birth mother did, even if everyone around me disagrees. My child deserves better. At the same time, I don’t know how I’ll deal with raising a baby on my own. Zoe’s zeal for a grandbaby flashes through my mind, followed by Bryce’s story about her kidnapping Ares and leaving him to die in a fire. What if she tries to hurt my baby? Can I protect it?
Can I even be a good mom? I don’t know anything about creating a good family environment. The two families that adopted me weren’t exactly wholesome and loving examples.
Should I give the baby up for adoption? But what if it meets a familylike the Obermans, who provide material benefits but no warmth or love? I didn’t realize how much I wanted the latter until I spent time with Akiko. Do I want my child to experience the same kind of lack and pain I’ve gone through?
