Probably Grandma and Mom trying an end run around my refusal to answer their calls and texts. “Put it through the shredder.”
“Shouldn’t you see what it is first?” If she’s curious what’s in the envelope, she doesn’t show it. “It could be a legal matter.”
“Don’t care. Shred it, then pack it into an envelope and send it back to them. COD.”
Madison’s well-trimmed golden eyebrows pull together. “Is there something I can do to help?”
“Unless you can invent a time machine, no.”
She nods again and leaves, bringing me a cup of extra-strong coffee a few minutes later. She knows exactly what I need when I’m upset.
–Dad: How come you didn’t tell me you were engaged? I wasted so much time looking for good women for you!
–Me: Who told you?
–Dad: Your mother.
Of course. Since she couldn’t get to me directly, she went to Joey. The texts are coming from Dad’s phone, but Dad doesn’t text. That’s too much work. It’s Joey doing the texting, undoubtedly feeling smugly important to be able to send messages as Ted Lasker.
–Dad: But maybe the time wasn’t totally wasted. Since your fiancée is pregnant, if you want to have some extra fun, I have a few options. They’re discreet.
As discreet as Jane’s tits that wouldn’t stay confined to her dress.
–Me: Joey, go away
–Dad: Come on! Can’t you just give me credit for doing a great job?
–Me: I could…but first you’d have to be doing a great job.
–Dad: You’re such an ungrateful jerk! At least we’re invited to the wedding, right?
Hell no,comes to my mind instinctively. Dick cannons are my dad’s idea of dignified and fun. My brothers and I should be grateful he didn’t ask us to commission a giant replica of his dick for his birthday.
But then it hits me.Why should I gift the Huxleys and Webbers a dignified wedding?
–Me: If you can send the most amazing gift ever.
–Dad: We can manage that.
–Me: If it’s impressive enough, who knows? Dad might get to bounce the baby on his knee.
–Dad: No. It might puke. But we’ll take it around the city, show it the world it rightfully belongs to.
Translation: Dad plans to take the baby to every debauched Hollywood party he can squeeze into his busy schedule. He’ll also shove the poor baby into his rival Josh Singer’s face. I’m still not sure why Dad hates Josh Singer so much. He’s just a guy who financed and produced a lot of artsy-fartsy films. Nothing like my father’s history of producing megahits.
I send a quick email to the team in Paris to make sure the client isn’t doing anything stupid—you never know withartistes—and head to the steakhouse. I’m meeting my brothers for dinner and to celebrate Noah’s upcoming nuptials. He actually managed to convince Bobbi to marry him.Howis anybody’s guess—not long ago she wouldn’t even let him buy a croissant at her bakery. Hopefully he didn’t do anything stupid, like give her all his money. I don’t worry about my other brothers, but with Noah, I do. When he becomes focused on something, he disregards everything else. He’ll go on a trip to photograph some cheetahs, and sometimes it’ll be weeks before anyone hears from him.
I pull up to the steakhouse and toss the fob to the valet. Just as I do, Mick emerges from the car behind me. He’s in a suit with a thin white-gold tie pin. He apparently won his first case while wearing it, so now he wears it all the time as some kind of talisman. If he were actually good at what he did, he wouldn’t need luck.
“Well, well, well. Look at the man who got duped into marrying a whore.” He smirks, probably happy he finally has something to feel superior to me about.
“Say that again and you won’t be able to make a court appearance for months.” Griffin isn’t the only one who can break a man’s jaw with a kick.
Mick flinches slightly, then scoffs to hide the initial reaction. “What does it feel like to marry a girl like Grace?”
“I’m wondering why she’s a Lain,” I say conversationally, refusing to rise to the bait, then head to the entrance.
He follows me. He isn’t giving up this opportunity to stick it to me. “Because she took her mom’s name. Do you know her mom was—is? A slut who tried to wreck my parents’ marriage. She’s ‘lain,’ all right.” He grins, waiting for a reaction, but when I don’t give him the satisfaction, he says, “She shamelesslyseduced Dad—knowing he was married—to change her lot in life, and it backfired. He didn’t leave Mom for her, not even for the baby.”
