If I had normal people for parents, I’d be at least slightly alarmed that a stranger had invaded my home. As it is, what I feel is a little resignation and a lot of fury.
What the fuck, Joey?
“Get down here!”
“I’m Jane.” She smiles and waves like a pageant queen.
“And?”
She bounces on the branch, one hand over her quivering tits. “I could beyourJane if you’d just come up.” She lets out a tittering giggle, unfazed by my impatience. Or she’s too dumb and oblivious to notice. “Do you know that every woman in my family had twins? So we could have twins. One that looks like you and one that looks like me! Wouldn’t that be cute?”
“More like terrifying,” I mutter. Joey has been sending me progressively dumber and dumber women to procreate with, trying to satisfy my father’s need for a baby he can take to Hollywood parties. Apparently, I’m smart enough to compensate for a lack of IQ in the baby’s mother.
“So let’sdoit!” She leans forward, arching her back and opening her mouth to show me her tongue. The sight is outrightthird-rate porn. Actually, I don’t think even third-rate porn does this anymore. “Comeooonnn.”
She brings down her torso low enough that her breasts pop out of the dress. Instead of covering herself, she laughs. “Oops! Guess the girls can’t wait.”
My skin crawls. “Get down here.Now.”
“Make me!” She giggles again and sticks her tongue out.
Just how old is she? Twelve?
“Come and get me, Tarzan,” she says breathlessly, then cups her breasts and pushes them toward me.
No.No!I can feel brain cells gasping and writhing as they die. Time to end this shit.
“I haven’t done any skeet shooting in a while, and it’s time I got some practice in. To avoid getting rusty.”
She lets out a theatrical gasp. “Are you threatening me?”
“Nope. Just informing you of my plans for the day.” I start toward my house.
“Wait! I can’t get down on my own!” she yells.
“How’d you get up there?”
“Joey helped me.”
“So call him.” Maybe I’ll shoot both of them. Joey could look like a clay target if I dumped a bucket of white paint on him.
“Wait!” she screams again. She probably has a twenty-word vocabulary, the top one being “wait.”
“If you aren’t gone by the time I get out…” I give her my most charming smile, the one that makes even my mom nervous.
It scares “Jane” more than a gun, because she lets out a small shriek. “Oh my God! Joey never told me you were a serial killer!”
“I’m not. But I could make an exception.”
Chapter Ten
Huxley
My foul mood persists, and hasn’t improved much by the time brunch with my brothers rolls around four weeks later. It doesn’t help that I’ve been to the bar near Highsmith every night and haven’t run into Grace. My feeling that it wasn’t her scene was correct.
And it certainly doesn’t help that Joey sent me two more women, neither of which was an improvement over “Jane.” Actually, Jane was the best of the bunch. Where does hefindthese women? And does Dad know about it…?
Of course he does. He probably approves all these women. To my chagrin and disgust, I can easily imagine Dad playing “me Tarzan, you Jane” with women a third his age.
