Noah shifts, positioning himself like a shield against his mother. “Surely you didn’t leave your toilet clogged all this time.”
I cover my mouth with a hand to contain a sound somewhere between laugh and incredulity. She flew all the way out here over a clogged toilet? Or does “clogged toilet” mean something else?
“Sadly toilets get clogged all the time if they aren’t taken care of by experts. Which is where you come in.” Nora’s tone is flat and serious.
“No, I don’t. Not at the moment, anyway.”
“You know your duties.”
Filial duties shouldn’t include having him fly from Los Angeles to Dubai just to thrust a plunger into her toilet, no matter how good he is at the task. Does she often make unreasonable demands? Is that why she isn’t part of the vision painting he created?
“I’m not leaving Bobbi’s side to unclog your toilet, no matter how inconvenient it is for you. Get someone else. There are plenty of plumbers.”
“Oh for God’s sake, don’t fight over something as inconsequential as plumbing,” Ted Lasker booms as he comes closer.
Finally, a voice of sanity.
He’s in surprisingly good shape for a man his age with lean muscle and a visible six pack. The black trunks hang loosely around him, and he’s holding a glass of champagne.
Nora’s face scrunches with disappointment and annoyance. Noah merely sighs.
“I know the best plumbers in the city. I’ll have Joey get on it.” Ted snaps his fingers.
And my last disastrous date pops up from behind Ted with a tablet. I try not to make a face.
“Which mansion requires attention?” he asks Nora.
“Noah is the only one who can unclog it,” she says in a friendly tone.
Joey’s eyes shift in Noah’s direction with something akin to wariness. Then they widen when he notices me. “You!”
I do my best to not cringe. Talking about that date would be humiliating.
“I thought you didn’t want him! That’s why I had to get Rammi!” Joey looks at Noah like a scared bunny, then returns to me. “You got me into so much trouble!”
Noah starts to take a step forward, but I put a hand on his forearm. I got this. “Don’t blame me for your issues. I would’ve never agreed to meet you if you hadn’t lied.”
Joey turns red. “If you’d just communicated better, I could’ve avoided the trauma of…that visit.”
“What’s traumatic is your existence,” Noah says.
“What’s going on here?” Ted asks, while Noah glares at Joey.
“She’s the one I told you about a few months ago as a perfect fit for either Noah or Huxley. You know, the chick who wanted to have children. Guess she settled on Noah.” Joey looks absurdly satisfied with himself. “I, you know, said some nice things about him to help speed up her decision.”
Like you have any influence on me.I step forward. “Look, I knew Noah long before I met you. You had nothing to do with us being together.”
Joey huffs. “Denying me the credit I’m due won’t change the facts of the matter.”
“It’s all good, Joey.” Ted talks to his assistant like he’s a chihuahua that needs a bit of coddling, then suddenly turns and hugs me. “Welcome to the family, Barbie! So how many babies are we talking here? And how soon?”
I squeak. He’s squeezing too hard, and it’s awkward as hell since his hand is waywaytoo low, not even an inch above my ass.
“No!” Noah’s panicked shout cuts through the small crowd. He rushes up and rips his father’s arms off me. “Bobbi, remember the vision painting?”
“Yes.”Is that the right thing to say here?This whole situation issobizarre.
He points at his parents and Joey. “They aren’t part of it. Because they’re weird.”
