You can do this. Visualize your future…
“Breathe in…”
I inhale slowly, trying fortidal, recalling how Noah sounded with his face buried in my neck.Hisbreathing was labored. Desperate almost, as he worked his fingers inside me. And my breathing matched his, growing shallow, rough and strained.
Hot goosebumps break out over my back. I bite my lip.
“Breathe out…”
I try to expel the filthy imagery from my mind along with the air from my lungs. It doesn’t work.
Noah’s hot breath fanned my bare skin as he groaned at my climax, likehewas the one coming.
Although I acted like what happened in that fancy bathroom didn’t mean anything, I was shaken to my core by how easily my body succumbed to his touch. He's always known exactly where to caress, how to seduce me. I’ve been helpless against him, and he’s used it to his fullest advantage.
I’m still not sure why he didn’t finish the job. There was a moment before that weird woman showed up, dying to have his baby. In that mindless state I would’ve welcomed his cock. And he had to know that.
Liquid heat pools between my legs as I remember what he can do with his dick. I squirm. I’m not letting what could’ve been from Saturday derail my meditation.I’m going to create the future I deserve.
I curl my fingers around the ring hanging from my neck. There. That should help me center myself.
“Breathe in…”
Breathe in becomes begone.Begone, Noah!I focus on the words like they have an exorcistic power. My new mantra.
But no. As air fills my lungs, I get the craziest urge to huff it all out with a sexual shudder. My pussy clenches, like it’s looking for the fingers that aren’t there anymore.
Damn it, I’m too fucking wet for this!I scream soundlessly, frustrated beyond belief that I’m too turned on to meditate. I open my eyes, stop the app and clench my fistshard. Why?Why?All I’m trying to do is meditate, get rid of the toxicity in my mind and focus on the future I want.
So what if he can make me come? Why am I letting him affect me like this?
“So what”? It was the best damn orgasm you’ve had in the last year. And he was only using his fingers.
Argh!It’s Noah’s fault my peaceful existence has been disrupted. The day he reappeared, Lorcan decided to break into my house. And then because Noah put his face over my perfect vision board husband, I somehow ended up with Mr. Sweet Potato Hair, a.k.a. Joey the Fake Profile Photo because the universe and I got our wires crossed. Now Noah’s a mind-worm I can’t get rid of.
It’s Monday morning for God’s sake. I don’t need to be horny! Especially over a guy who has a woman panting after him for babies. He acted like he had no idea who she was and was repulsed. But I’m too jaded now to buy that act. For all I know, if I threw myself at him like that he might shove me away, too. He just wants the thrill of the chase. And then, if he actually gets me, he’ll ghost me. Again. That’s his MO.
Plus, that woman was everything I’m not. She’s shorter, with the kind of archetypical feminine curves around her huge breasts and flaring pelvis I’m never going to have. She has a small pixie-like face with a slightly pointy chin, and an overly lush mouth. She could be more his type, as long as she doesn’t turn clingy. Bet he was too busy with her to come to the bakery opening. The thought is both infuriating and painful. I wasted my love on a man who doesn’t deserve it, and even knowing the kind of person he is, I let him finger me.
I head to the bathroom to grab a quick shower. Mediation obviously isn’t happening today. I resist the urge to touch myself because if I do, I’ll be thinking of what happened on Saturday, and I’ll be damned if I masturbate to that finger-fuck with Noah.
No!I’m going to shower like a good girl, dress like a boss, and get through the day like a goddess entrepreneur. Because that’s who I’ve decided to be.
I put on a black sleeveless top and black jeans, and make sure to place Band-Aids over the hickeys Noah left on my neck. Just pulling my hair forward won’t keep them hidden. I was so embarrassed when I saw them after I came home because Eugene must’ve noticed. But he didn’t mention it, like the gentleman that he is. He carried on with our conversation like Noah’s interruption never happened.
You know what? I’m going to manifest a guy who’s better in bed than Noah. Who can make me come by just sucking on my breasts—
Of course… Noah has done that a few times…
Okay, STOP!Oh my God. I’m never going to manifest a proper sex-machine husband if I keep thinking about Noah!
I head to Bobbi’s Sweet Things. Despite the less-than-ideal start to my Monday, everything comes out of the oven a delicious golden brown, and the bakery is soon replete with the comforting, mouth-watering scent of freshly baked goodies.
Mmm. Perfect.
Victor arrives, and we have a quick breakfast. The regulars begin to show up, and they snap up the still-warm croissants and Danishes along with the basic complimentary coffee we give out in the morning to any paying customer.
After the morning rush is over, I relax a little. Maybe the day isn’t totally lost after all. “That went pretty well,” I say.
