“The kind who uses apps!” TJ says, absolutely refusing to give in on this point. “Let me set you up. I know just the guy—he’ll treat you like a princess and make you happy. Why should you go through more disappointment and heartbreak? You deserve better.”
“No, thank you.” My cousin means well. But he’s going to pick the kind of guy who’ll ask for permission before holding my hand. Consent is important, but I honestly don’t want a guy who’s too scared of TJ to overwhelm me with hot sex. I didn’t put a picture of a couple having passionate sex on the vision board, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t part of the deal with the loving husband I’m yearning for.
“Fine. If you’re going to insist on allowing crazy losers into your life and not use your Glock on them, you should at least upgrade your security. Also, get yourself a mean-ass dog. No offense to Señor Mittens, but he’s no attack kitty.”
My cat scornfully swishes his tail. It almost looks like he’s sneering.
“He coughed up a hair ball to avenge me,” I say, defending poor Señor Mittens. TJ is a hardcore dog person, and he can’t fathom why I don’t get a “real pet.”
“Oooh…” TJ gives me a mock shudder. “Yeah, I hear that home invaders are terrified of hairballs.”
“Don’t be dense. I put it into some buttercream.” I lay out what I did to the croissants Noah stole.
TJ looks at me like I’ve broken out of an asylum. “Wait, so you broke intohishouse?”
“Of course. He did it first.”
“Yeah, but don’t you think he’s going to think it’s an invitation to escalate?”
“What? No.”
“Cuz, the best way to deal with a guy like that is to ignore him completely.”
“Uh-uh. That’s silently endorsing what he’s doing.”
“Don’t believe me? Talk to Josie.”
“Josie? Why?” TJ’s sister is his exact opposite—petite and delicate with an inviting, friendly face. It works well for her career as a psychiatrist. People tend to pour out their entire life story, which she absolutely loves, and is great for her. But if I had her job, I’d be jailed for murder.
“Because she’s going to side with me and say you still have feelings for this motherfucker.”
The remark hits too close to home. It’s all I can do not to grind my teeth. “I don’t need my head examined. I’m fine!”
“Sure, you’re fine.Anddandy. That’s why you have guys like Lorcan and Noah around,” he says. “I always thought your dad was crazy, but he wasn’t totally wrong when he said nothing keeps unwanted people out better than landmines.”
“Oh my God.” I close my eyes briefly.Landmines.
“I’m just saying you’re putting me in a bind. How am I supposed to keep my promise to your mom that I’d take care of you if you keep finding crazies who stalk you and break into your house?”
“TJ…” I debate how much to say, but eventually just settle for, “I can take care of myself.”
“Physically, maybe. But you’re letting that asshole weasel his way back into your life. And he’s gonna screw with you and break your heart all over again. Why should I have to sit around and watch it unfold?” His concern is touching, but there’s something else there, too. Something evil glinting in his eyes.
“TJ, if you’re plotting something—something I’m not going to like—that’ll be the last apple pie you’ll ever get from me.”
“Jesus, all I’m trying to do is be nice to you. No need to get all cruel about it.” He looks as betrayed as Caesar when he realized it was Brutus who stabbed him.
I lock eyes with him and start to reach for his plate.
He leans forward and physically covers the pie with his torso. “Okay, fine!Have it your way. But if that shithead isn’t gone by the end of the month, I’m getting you a Doberman!”
Chapter Eleven
Bobbi
After TJ’s gone, I stow the tools and head to Ivy and Tony’s mansion. Thankfully my cousin’s off today, so I won’t run into him and have to suffer anotheryou’re dating wronglecture. Ivy and her best friend Yuna became my good friends, and their daughters Katherine and Lilian treat me as an honorary auntie. The two have been begging me to show them how to bake cookies. Apparently, nobody else will do. “You have the best bakery in the world! Oh please, oh please, oh please!”
When the two little angels put their hands together and looked up at me with all the earnestness in the world, I promised to stop by today. They’re just too adorable, and I love children.
