“If they become much more of a pain, we should dump them,” she says over a mimosa. “They don’t have enough cash to make the next bond payment. Time to show them they’re nothing to us.”
“Do you suggest we take them back if they show enough remorse?” I ask, although my mind is on Molly. Some part of me wants her to be nothing without me so she’ll be forced to come back. Except… That isn’t her. I love her because she shines so bright and beautiful. I love her because of her warmth—like a campfire on a chilly night that draws me in.
“Remorse?” Tara laughs. “Let them default. We can grab the profitable pieces for pennies. Sucks to be them, but sometimes you have to be cruel to command respect.”
I nod. That’s what I would’ve suggested, too—business is business. And let them see what they threw away in their arrogance. My train of thought derails for a second.Is that what I’m doing to Molly by staying away?If so, I’m doing a shitty job. She has my house and my staff and is under my care. She has everything but me.
That might be the way she wants it,I think glumly.
“Something wrong? You look terribly unhappy.” Tara signals our waiter for another mimosa.
“Just thinking about the acquisition.”
“Uh-huh. You can’t fool me. This acquisition isn’t worth losing weight over. And you’re too experienced and calm to care that much about a deal this small.” She props her chin on her hand. “As a matter of fact, I’ve never seen you at the negotiating table without a dealbreaker. You’re always ready to walk if you don’t get what you want.”
“I don’talwaysget what I want.” If I did, I wouldn’t be living alone at the Aylster.
She sits back, frowns and gives me an uncharacteristic sideways look. “What’s going on? Did Carla forget to restock your favorite tea?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Wait…” Tara blinks. Finally, her smug I’m-on-the-top-of-the-world veneer cracks. “Does this have something to do with the cute brunette you won at Elizabeth’s auction?” She straightens before I can answer. “Oh my God, it does! Just look at your face!”
“Am I really that transparent?”
“You are with this girl. I was wondering because it isn’t like you to be so impulsive, although in a lot of ways you’re just like your mother.”
“Are you calling me fickle?” Molly said the same thing about me and Mom.
“No. You both know what you want very clearly and go after it. It’s just that what Nikki wants changes all the time. What you want doesn’t.”
I sit and consider her words. I’ve never heard that explanation before, not even from my own brothers. The waiter brings Tara her new mimosa. I swallow my whiskey.
“I should’ve known something was up when you ordered whiskey with your lunch,” Tara says with an amused smile. “So. Who’s more in love in your situation?”
Me. “I don’t know.”
“Relationships are like poker,” she says in a low voice, like she’s imparting a great secret. “Whoever loves more loses because they can’t remain cool-headed. And whoever says the L-word first? Toast.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Speaking from experience?”
“Of course. Derek has no clue if I love him.” She sounds like we’re discussing bond market movements in London.
“And he still proposed and married you?” I’ve met Tara’s husband. He doesn’t come across as the type to put up with that kind of uncertainty.
“Yes. Because he loves me.” The smile on Tara’s face is genuine. Even affectionate. But it’s impossible to tell if she reciprocates his feelings.
It’s similar to the one Molly often wears around me, except her green eyes are always bright with unspoken secrets. Like she’s holding back words she’s afraid will change everything between us.
“He told me so, too,” Tara adds.
“Do you love him?”
She laughs. “I’m not telling.”
“Fine. Are you happy? Or is that a secret, too?”
She laughs harder. “No. But if you’re curious, I’m quite satisfied with my life.”
