“Maybe not. But your behavior shows it.”
“You don’t know anything about me and Nicholas.”
“Don’t I?” He finally turns and faces me. “He won’t even eat his favorite blueberry tarts because of your allergy.”
I blink with surprise. “I didn’t know…”
“Or maybe you didn’t care to know. I’ve never seen Nicholas this upset. Not even his mother forgetting to attend his graduation, or the birthday party he planned for her, bothered him like this. You act like you can’t trouble yourself to treat him with the same kind of care he gives to you. To you, he’s an afterthought.”
Every statement hits like a sledgehammer, filling me with shock and dismay. I never meant any of that, much less make Nicholas think I had no feelings for him. “Look, is this about what happened this afternoon? I was trying to be thoughtful and considerate of his priorities and schedule.”
His eyebrows jump a couple of inches. “He wants to be the first person you reach out to, no matter what.That’shis priority. You didn’t put him first.”
“Idid.” Why is he being obtuse? Is it because he’s decided he doesn’t like me?
“If he was hurt and called Stella to sit with him and look after him, would you be okay?”
Jealousy and a sense of inadequacy rake hot claws over my belly. “Who’s Stella?”
“Nobody you know.” The corners of his mouth turn downward theatrically. “You seem upset. But why? He’s being so thoughtful and considerate. After all, you have your priorities.”
He turns and opens a few drawers to find underwear and socks, dumps a fistful into the suitcase and zips it up.
“If you don’t reciprocate his feelings, just stay away. Nicholas is a great guy. He deserves better.”
Chapter Forty-Four
Molly
My eyes feel like they’re full of grit and dust. I couldn’t eat or sleep after Noah left. I feel like a complete villain. A ridiculous one at that. Obviously, I hurt Nicholas, and I need to apologize. I still don’t know exactly how I’m supposed to promise I’m not going to do it again, though. He says not calling him means I didn’t put him first. But it’s preciselybecauseI put him first that I didn’t call.
People have their needs. Things they want to get done. Me asking for help when I can manage on my own is an imposition. It’s always been that way all through my life. Nothing upset Dad more than getting a call from school telling him to come get me because I wasn’t feeling well. And it was the same for a lot of my previous boyfriends. They said the most attractive thing about me was that I was independent. Not clingy. Unless I’m bleeding out or have a broken bone, I’m not going to demand someone’s time and attention.
Why doesn’t Nicholas appreciate that?
Then I spent hours obsessing about who Stella is and whether Nicholas is staying with her. I texted Georgia, but she said she didn’t know anybody named Stella in their social circle. Google, too, failed me. How can there be so many Stellas?
I wanted to text Nicholas, to ask him where he is. If he’s with this Stella person. But everything I came up with seemed clingy and pathetic. So I ended up sending just one:I’m worried about you. Can you call me when you get a chance? We need to talk.
He doesn’t answer, and he’sneverignored my texts. He always replies within an hour—at the most—and I’ve gotten used to him being responsive.
Since sleep is impossible, I get out of the bed and shower. I used to like the housekeeping service, but now I kind of resent it—fresh sheets don’t smell like Nicholas. Although the laundry detergent is the same, without his arms around me at night, things feel alien and cold.
I make myself some extra-strong coffee and sip it. Nicholas told me to stay in his home as long as I wanted, but I should move out. It doesn’t feel right to stay here when he’s living elsewhere.
I bury my face in my free hand. Who am I kidding? My desire to move out has nothing to do with his being elsewhere. It’s him with another woman.Stella. I don’t think Noah dropped that particular name just for the hell of it. He wants me to know Nicholas can have any woman he wants.
I pick up my phone. A text notification—and my mood deflates when I see it’s from Cody. He probably wants to know when I can get out of Nicholas’s hair.
–Cody: You have an appointment with Jeremiah Huxley at Huxley & Webber at eleven today. If it’s inconvenient for you, please let me know and I’ll reschedule.
He must’ve gotten confused. I have no idea who Jeremiah Huxley is.
–Me: You sent the text to me, not Nicholas—or whoever you were trying to reach.
–Cody: No mistake. It’s for you.
–Me: I don’t know who Jeremiah Huxley is or why I should see him?
