Darren shoots me a quick, condescending grin. “Ah well.” He walks past me. He knows it would make him look like a dick to rub it in. He’ll want to do that in private.
“I’m sorry,” Karen says somberly.
I manage to thank her and stand shakily, looking for Sebastian. He’s talking with some of the board members. Roderick approaches him with a broad grin. Sebastian’s expression darkens. He tilts his head as though he can sense me watching him.
I start toward him.
“We couldn’t have done it without your brothers’ help.” Roderick is exuberant.
“Shut up,” Sebastian responds.
Roderick is too drunk with victory to listen. “I knew they’d vote wisely.”
I look at Sebastian. Guilt flashes across his face.
And I know.
He has six brothers. All wealthy, all capable of grabbing enough shares to challenge my leadership. He made it clear that he hated my maneuvering to get him to marry me. Obviously, this was his way of balancing those scales he so loves to even.
But if that’s what he wanted, why did he have to be kind? Why did he have to make me think he cared? Why did he have to make me want more?
I look at the broad shoulders I laid my head on. The gorgeous eyes that shone when he looked at me. The beautiful mouth that kissed me like I was everything he ever dreamed of.
Of all the betrayals of my life, his is the hatchet that cleaves my soul. The pain robs my lungs of air, my mind of words.
I glance down at myself. I’m not bleeding. I don’t know how I can look fine, my clothes perfect, my posture erect, when the most unbearable agony is tearing at me. If my physical self could reflect what’s happening inside, I’d be lying, burnt and flayed, on a bed of razor blades.
I look around. The ambient chatter grows muffled. Faces blur. Nobody seems horrified. Nobody is shocked. I should be grateful the damage is invisible to their eyes.
People will never discover the devastation Sebastian has wrought. No archeologist will unearth it a century from now. And I can pretend I’m untouched by it all. I still hold a great deal of shares. And I have money of my own, independent of Peery Diamonds.
I’ll be fine. I have to be fine.
But I feel something draining from me, like sand flowing out of a broken hourglass. I can’t remember why I struggled so hard, why I even bothered to come to this meeting.
The lights above hit my Toi et Moi ring and fracture into gorgeous slivers all the colors of creation. Why did I marry Sebastian again?
Suddenly, everything feels like too much. It’s all I can do to remain upright.
Someone starts moving toward me—Sebastian, maybe. But some people get in the way. They’re saying something to him.
I turn around. I have no feeling in my limbs, but they move, allow me to leave without stumbling. The auditorium is freezing, but the hall is even colder. I walk right past everyone, my strides growing longer and longer.
I rush out of the lobby. The bright blade of the sun slices into my eyes.
“Ma’am,” comes James’s voice. He touches my hand. “You’re freezing.”
“No, you’re feverish,” I say numbly, then climb into the car.
“Let’s turn the heater on,” he says.
“Don’t.” I don’t want to be thawed.
Chapter 38
Sebastian
Fucking Roderick.
