I run my fingers through my sopping-wet hair, trying to compute all this, as the seed of dread Sadie dropped earlier starts to sprout. “What? An auction site?”
“She’s selling what you gave her. The shoes. The clothes. Jewelry. Everything. I know they’re the same. I checked the sizes and colors to be sure.” She sighs again. “I think she’s just using you.”
My body grows icy. What she’s saying is logical, but there has to be another explanation.Using me?Aspen isn’t like that. “If that’s the case, why didn’t she wait until I gave her more?”
“Maybe she didn’t realize you could be more generous? She’s young. It could be her first time.”
But would she have given me her virginity for some lousy stuff?
You know people who’d suck a guy off for far less,a voice that sounds just like my dad points out.
Guess this is what needed sorting out so urgently that Aspen couldn’t text me back. She was too busy counting her money.
Marketta clears her throat. “Look, I’ve seen this before. She could have gotten enough, or she could be intending to come back later for more. Anyway, I hate seeing my clients get taken advantage of, and you’re a good kid, Grant. I don’t want you to start having feelings for her and get hurt. Better to nip it early.”
“Right,” I say numbly. “Okay, um…” My brain doesn’t seem to be working. “Thanks.”
“No problem. You take care.” She hangs up.
I stare at the phone, then at the puddle of water under my feet.Aspen was just using me?But why did she stop so soon? She’s a smart girl. She has to know she could string me along…
I don’t know what’s worse—that she’s been using me or that I’m mad I found out about it. Fuck it. It might make me a pussy-whipped simp, but part of me says I don’t care. I…I love her that much.
Fucking pathetic loser.
Hating myself and hating Aspen for making me feel this way, I let out a shuddering breath, then slowly lift my head. My teammates are all staring at me. Guess they witnessed the humiliating scene. How much did they hear? How much can they piece together?
Enough from the pity and sympathy in their gazes.
Fuck!
I want to storm out, but I’m still wet and naked. I grab a towel, run it over my body and get dressed without making eye contact with anyone. Then I walk out. The sky’s endlessly blue, not a cloud in sight. The sun is gorgeous, the light generous and strong.
But I still feel cold. Marketta’s warning came too late. I’m gutted.
I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Aspen
Grandpa always says nothing is certain except death and taxes.
But death didn’t have to come so early. So abruptly.
Grandma didn’t make it out of surgery after she was rushed to the hospital for an aneurysm that suddenly burst. By the time I arrived in L.A., she was gone. My knees gave out, and I landed on my butt in one of the hospital’s ugly plastic chairs. Grandpa sat crumpled like his world had just ended.
My legs still weak, I dragged myself over and held him while he sobbed, my own tears staining the back of his shirt. I stared at the doctor as he spoke to us, like I should be able to process anything when I could barely cope with the fact that I was never going to feel her arms go around me in that tight hug that always felt like home. The dinner with Grant was the final time I saw her alive. And she’d looked so healthy, so bright. She’d danced with the same dexterity as always. People like her didn’t die of aneurysms.
They shouldn’t. It wasn’t fair.
The doc seemed sad, but I didn’t know if it was because he wasn’t good enough to save her or if he was just worried about his surgical record. Learning that I was just a bet to Grant must’ve tainted my view of humanity, because it was impossible to think kind thoughts.
Fuck you, world. Fuck you, universe! She deserved better than this! Grandpa didn’t even get to say goodbye!
The rage died as quickly as it surged, overwhelmed by endless waves of bitter grief. All the things I had wanted to do with her… The splurge trip to Buenos Aires after I graduated. The great-grandchildren I wanted to give her—she so loved children. Now, I’m never going to get to do any of that. Death was faster than me.
When I finally took out my phone, there were hundreds of texts from Grant. I ignored them and texted Suyen.
