–Unknown: Is this Grant?
Who is this? The next text comes fast, like the other person has anticipated that I’ll be confused.
–Unknown: It’s me. Sadie!
Sadie who? How presumptuous of this freak to assume I know her? I start to block the number.
–Unknown: Sadie Woodward. From college! Remember? We went to Napa Aquinas together.
Oh…her. That annoying stalker. How did she get my number? I changed it after I transferred. I didn’t want anybody from college to contact me, and I most certainly didn’t want Aspen to try to get in touch, to ply me with bullshit. As furious as I was, deep inside I knew I was too soft for her. If she’d given me just the right sob story back then, I might’ve cracked. Because I was that crazy about her.
Thankfully, the years have hardened me.
–Unknown: I got your number from Heath.
How the hell didheget my number? I haven’t spoken to him or Will since I left Napa.
–Unknown: I heard you were in VC and wanted to pitch something. I have this amazing idea that can change the world.
Ha. Everyone says that, but most of the ideas are so unworkable it’s mind-boggling that anyone would think a VC firm would be seriously interested. I start to resume blocking the number, but in my peripheral vision, Aspen looks up from her laptop andbam, my dick’s excited. Again.
I hate this uncontrollable reaction. But then inspiration strikes. I’m trying to get her to quit, and what better way than to bring her college nemesis into the office as my guest? It’ll be amusing to watch her choke as she’s forced to be polite to Sadie.
–Me: Fine. I’ll give you ten minutes.
–Unknown: When?
–Me: Arrange that with my assistant.
I give her Aspen’s number and email.
–Unknown: Awesome. I knew you’d come through. You’re the best! I knew you’d see the potential, unlike my boring father.
My lips twist. If her own dad doesn’t want to touch it, it must be complete crap. He always overindulged his daughter, to her detriment. That’s why she thinks everything that pops into her head is golden.
Larry comes in next, and I give him a cold look over the sloppy work he’s done. He thinks he’s special because he spent two years at Morgan Stanley and got his MBA from Harvard. He could’ve gotten his degree from God Almighty, and I’d still think he was a pretentious dumbass.
So I tell him exactly what I think about his poor deliverables. His face turns white, red, then back to white. He looks at me like I just called his dick small. Well, if he’s using his penis to do the work, it must be damn inferior.
“QA everything before you send it to me,” I say firmly. “Unless you’re of the opinion that there are better VC firms out there for you.”
“No. Of course not, sir.” He snivels. If the door weren’t open, he’d collapse on his knees. He’s so spineless, he makes jellyfish appear rigid.
“Out,” I say, turning my attention back to the chart I’ve been looking at on my computer.
“Yes, sir.”
He shuffles his feet, moving like a slug, while making as much noise as possible. Does he think I’m going to stop him and take back anything I just said? “Faster,” I say without looking at him. “Unless you want to stay here until well after three.”
His feet slap the floor rapidly. He knows I can make his life hell for the next few weeks. Perhaps I should see if I can make him quit, too.
I hear a thump and something hitting the ground.
“Watch where you’re going!” Larry shouts.
I grind my teeth. I open my mouth to tell him to shut the door and keep it down—
“You’re the one who ran out of the office without looking,” Aspen says.
