It was a transparent excuse, but Ollie was too emotionally exhausted to call Jules on it. As soon as Sam and Maya left the office, Jules closed the door and fixed Ollie with a knowing look.
“Spill. What’s going on with you and Finn?”
“How do you know there’s anything going on between Finn and me?” Ollie protested, as if Jules would fall for that. They already knew there wassomething, even if Ollie hadn’t shared the latest updates.
“Because I have two eyes, and Keaton said he’s been acting strange anytime he’s been here.”
Ollie’s brow furrowed. Strange how? But asking would be the same as admitting therewassomething between them, and right now, there wasn’t. Just a life-altering kiss and an awkward escape.
“You can fool a lot of people, but not me. Something’s going on, so what is it?” Jules crossed their arms over their chest, trying—and failing—to look stern. “Has something happened since the vague moment you mentioned the other day?”
The direct question cracked something in Ollie’s carefully maintained facade. He sank into the office chair, suddenly bone-tired. “I have no clue what’s going on, and that’s the problem.”
Jules pulled up the other chair, sitting close enough that their knees touched. “Start at the beginning.”
“We kissed,” Ollie admitted, the words barely audible. “Yesterday afternoon. And it was… God, Jules, it was everything. Like the most perfect first kiss in a book. I might appreciate a well-written slow-burn in my books, but that shit’s for the birds in real life. Finn finally getting out of his damned head for a few seconds was bliss.” He ran a hand through his already chaotic curls. “And then his phone buzzed, and it was Brooklyn, and he had to go. Which I completely understand—she needs him, and that’s important. He said we’d talk today, but now he’s just…distant. And I’m the biggest dick in the world because I know he’s not doing it to ghost me. He’s got his hands full with Brooklyn, and I’ve been promising him I understand that she’s his priority.”
Jules listened without interrupting, their expression thoughtful. “And you’re spiraling.”
“I’m not spiraling,” Ollie protested weakly. “I’m catastrophically overthinking. There’s a difference.”
“Semantics,” Jules said with a small smile. “Look, from what I’ve heard, Brooklyn’s going through something pretty major right now. If Finn’s focusing on her, that doesn’t mean he regrets what happened between you two.”
“Logically, I know that,” Ollie conceded. “But maybe he realized it was a mistake. That I’m too much trouble, that I’m a distraction. That his life is already full enough without adding me to the mix. Or, you know, that kissing a dude isn’t something he wants.”
“Or maybe,” Jules countered gently, “he’s a single dad trying to balance his responsibilities with his own wants. I can’t imagine it’s easy for someone everyone thinks is straight to explore their feelings. You know how people can be in this town. Not everyone, but there are plenty of people who have opinions on a single dad being bi or gay or whatever. But that’s for him to sort out. Have you considered that he might be just as scared as you are?”
When Jules put it that way, Ollie felt selfish and needy. He needed to give Finn the space to sort through things in his own mind before they talked. He didn’t owe Ollie answers on atimeline. “You’re right. And he admitted that he’s scared, but he doesn’t need to be.”
“Of course he does. This is new to him,” Jules pointed out. “Finn’s spent years putting Brooklyn first and his own needs on the back burner. Maybe he’s not sure how to want something for himself.”
Ollie absorbed this, turning it over in his mind. The idea that Finn—steady, dependable Finn—might be as uncertain as he was felt both comforting and terrifying.
“What if I’m not worth the hassle?” he asked, voicing the fear that had been lurking beneath all his other anxieties. “What if he decides that whatever this is between us isn’t worth the risk?”
Jules reached out, squeezing his hand. “Then he’s an idiot. But, Ollie, you can’t control his thoughts. You can only decide what you’re willing to risk.”
“That’s the problem,” Ollie admitted, his voice catching. “I’m scared of how much I’m willing to risk for him. I barely know him, but I can’t stop thinking about him. About us. About what could be.”
“That’s not a problem,” Jules said firmly. “That’s courage. And it’s one of the things I love most about you—you feel things deeply. You don’t hold back.”
“Except I do,” Ollie countered, surprising himself with the admission. “I hold back all the time. I pretend I’m fine when I’m falling apart. I don’t ask for what I want because I’m afraid of being disappointed. I pour everything into helping others so I don’t have to face my own needs.”
The self-awareness hung between them, raw and unexpected. Jules smiled, a mixture of pride and sadness in their eyes.
“Then maybe it’s time to stop holding back,” they suggested softly. “With Finn. With the bookstore. With yourself.”
Before Ollie could respond, a knock at the office door interrupted them. Sam poked her head in, her expression apologetic.
“Sorry to interrupt the heart-to-heart, but Finn’s here. And he looks like he’s about to bolt if someone doesn’t talk to him soon.”
Ollie’s heart lurched painfully in his chest. “He’s here? Now?”
Sam nodded. “By the front counter. Looking like he’s mentally rehearsing whatever he’s going to say. I’d go over and give him a hug, but that’d be weird. Right?”
“Definitely weird.” Jules squeezed Ollie’s hand once more before standing. “Remember what I said. You deserve to ask for what you want.”
With that, Jules followed Sam out, leaving Ollie alone to gather his courage. He took a deep breath, straightened his glasses, and stepped out of the office.
