“Ithink we need to find some privacy.”Ifocused on my breathing to maintain a sense of calm.WhenKevindidn’t back away,Islipped my hand under the hem of hisT-shirt. “Youtold me we could go at whatever speedIneed, and right now, a cuddle session in the yard is the furthest from whatIneed.Onething you need to learn about me is that whenImake a decision,Idon’t want to waste time second-guessing myself.”
I’ddone more than enough of that over the past few weeks, butIwas done thinking and overthinking.Tonight,Iwas going to call on the confidenceIfelt as a successful attorney and apply it to my personal life.
“Thenthere’s only one decision you need to make.”Kevintugged on the tails of my button-down shirt.Hethen started working on my buttons. “Arewe going to your place or mine?”
“Yours.”Itmight have been selfish, but on the off chance things went sideways tonight,Ididn’t want the memories of my failure haunting me in my own home.
Kevin’ssharp whistle broke the night air. “Let’sgo, boy.”
Bartdidn’t need to be told twice.Hebolted forKevin’sfront door, running back to us when we weren’t moving fast enough. “Iswear, if he fucks things up for us again,Imight have to return him as defective.”
Kevintripped on the front step, andIreached out to catch him, pulling his body against mine.God, if this was what it felt like for everyone else,Ifucking got it.Ipushed back the feeling thatI’dbeen robbed of more than two decades of utter bliss, choosing to live in the moment.
“You’regoing to have to tell me ifIdo something wrong,”Iwarned him asIshoved him against the front door. “Thisisn’t like anythingI’veever done before.”
“You’redoing a damn good job so far.”Hisback arched, allowing me to feel the hard line of his erection against my thigh.Inipped at his bottom lip before diving in for a searing kiss.Kevinsqueezed my ass, holding me close as he rocked against my leg, trying to get friction.Myown cock pressed against my zipper, begging to be released, but it wouldn’t look good for us to risk indecent exposure charges.Besides, that would interrupt the mood again.Mytongue dipped inside his mouth, savoring his taste.Itwas unusual but not unpleasant. “You’regoing to make me come in my pants if you keep that up.”
“Thenwe’d better get inside.”Holdinghim against me,Ireached behind his body to open the door.Bartraced ahead of us.Itwas disconcerting how he acted as if he owned the place.Iquirked my head to the side whenIheard the unmistakable sound ofBartscarfing down his food. “Iwasn’t sure if he’d already eaten, butIfigured it would give him something to keep out of our way for a bit.”
InippedKevin’searlobe.Itfucked with my head how natural everything seemed whenIwas withKevin.Hehad a way of making me forget about my insecurity, focusing solely on how to make him feel good. “You’refucking brilliant.”
“Ifyou need some ideas about how you can show your appreciation, just let me know.”Kevinslipped behind me, frog-walking me into the living room with his thumbs hooked in my belt loops.Beforeshoving me onto the couch, he licked a stripe up the back of my neck. “Tonight’sall about you.Iwant you to use me however you see fit.IpromiseI’lllove whatever you do.”
Ipulled him on top of me, loving how his weight pinned me to the cushions.Inthis position,Iwas able to feel his erection against mine despite the fact both of us were overdressed.Myhands shook asIdipped my fingers beneath the waistband of his sweatpants.Itshouldn’t be possible for something so mundane to be as sexy as loose cotton.
Kevin’sbody arched, pressing his dick tighter against mine.Hishead dipped, kissing my jaw. “We’rewearing too many clothes.”
“We’llget there,”Iassured him.Hewhimpered whenIsqueezed the bare flesh of his ass. “Doyou like that?”
“Ifyou’re an ass man,I’mabout to be in heaven.”Ididn’t point outIhad no clue what type of manIwas since he was my first experience with a man.ButIknew from my research that it was somethingIwanted to explore, mostly becauseIwasn’t sureIunderstood the appeal.SeeingKevin’sreaction made it somethingIdefinitely wanted to try.Itwas my turn to moan when he shoved a hand between our bodies, curling his fingers around the bulge in my pants. “Wheneveryou’re ready, knowI’vebeen dreaming about what it would feel like to have the thick cock splitting me in two.”
Well, that sounded…uncomfortable.Butagain, he was the one who would know better.Andyeah, if his hand felt this good,Iwanted to know what it would be like breaching his body. “Areyou going to talk dirty all night?”
“Well, at some point, we’ll probably need to sleep,” he teased.Ipinched his ass. “Ifthat was supposed to deter me, you’ll need to try harder.Andplease don’t feel like we need to rush things.”
“Quittrying to convince me to slow down,”Igrowled.Ifnot for the wayKevinbit my collarbone,Imight have worriedhewas the one who needed to slow the pace.Iflipped him off me so he was pinned between my body and the back of the couch.He’doffered his body to me for my sexual exploration, andIintended to take him up on it.
Itugged theT-shirt over his head, allowing myself to openly appreciate the work he obviously put into staying in shape.Hishead rolled back and his eyes flitted shut asImassaged his pecs, observing how different they were from the few fumbling attemptsI’dmade with a woman whenIwas younger.Everythingabout him was different, from the smaller buds of his nipples to the spicy scent of his body wash combined with something natural and musky.Iburied my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply, committing every sensation to memory.
Kevinhissed whenIpinched his nipple, twisting to see if he liked pain the way the men in the videosI’dwatched did. “Fuck!Dothat again.”
Hisbreathing was ragged, and when he opened his eyes, his pupils were blown.Thetendons in his neck stuck out as he strained, biting his lip.Withmy free hand,Ireached up to free the flesh from his abuse. “Don’thold back.IfI’mdoing something you love,Iwant to hear it.Ican’t even begin to explain what a turn-on it is hearing you, knowingI’mthe one bringing you pleasure.”
“Wherein the fuck did you learn to talk like that?”Hiships canted, trying to maintain contact with my groin.WhenItensed, he lifted a hand to my cheek. “No, ifI’mnot allowed to hold back, neither are you.Ifyou have a bossy side clawing to get out,I’mmore than willing to be on the receiving end.”
Fuck.Kevincouldn’t have known the thingsI’dimagined doing to him, and he’d never given me any concrete idea he had a submissive bone in his body, yet now that we were here like this,Icould see his body starting to unwind.Ifthat’s what he needed, it would absolutely be something for both of us.
“Youmight want to be careful what you wish for,”Iwarned him, feigning confidence.Fromthe littleIknew, that was vital in a situation like this.Ipulled back, needing to see his eyes, his face, any sign of hesitation. “Isthis something you’re actually interested in or something you thinkIwant?”
“Iwould never joke about something like this.”Hisgaze was steely, his expression fierce. “It’sbeen so long sinceImet anyoneIwas interested in enough to trust with this side of myself.ButImiss it.Needit.I’mnot expecting any sort ofBDSMscene, butI’dlove nothing more than to hand over control to you for the night.Afterthat, we could talk about whether it gives us what we need.”
“Andif it doesn’t?”Thelast thingIwanted was to realizeIcouldn’t be what he needed.I’dcome so close to screwing things up once already.Iwasn’t sureIcould deal with the mental anguish of doing it again.
“Thenwe do what plenty of other couples do.”Heclimbed over me, standing in front of the couch.Irolled, taking his proffered hand.Whenhe pulled me upright, he released my hand and started unbuttoning my shirt. “We’llfind plenty of other ways to get one another off.Exploringthis attraction between us isn’t dependent on penetration or anything else.Iwant to be with you, not just use you as a convenient way to get off.”
Asfar as reassurances went, that was pretty damn perfect.Ishoved any lingering trepidation to the back of my mind.Kevinswallowed hard whenIstood taller, squaring my shoulders. “You’reawfully damn bossy for someone who claims to be willing to cede control.Showme your bedroom.”
Onour way out of the room,InoticedBartlying on a dog bed that hadn’t been there before.Strangely, realizingKevinhad created a space for my dog in his home strengthened me.Gaveme hope we were on the right path.I’dhave to be sure to show him my appreciation.
