Weworked together again once the meal was complete, packing, labeling, putting the leftovers into the fridge and freezer, then rinsing and loading the dishwasher.Surprisingly,Iwasn’t ready to go home yet.EvenifI’dhad the excuse of needing to feedBart,Iwould have been more upset to leave than spend more time withKevin.
Hemust have felt the same way because he pulled two beers out of the fridge. “Doyou want to sit on the deck for a little bit?Ican turn on the fire pit, which will keep any bugs away.”
“Isit safe to have that on a wood deck?”I’dheard far too many horror stories about homes burning down because of grills and fire pits.Iwas pretty sure there was even a law against them.
“Ihave a fire retardant mat under it, which would at least give me time to grab the hose should something happen,” he told me as we moved outside.Itwas a perfect night for relaxing while getting to know a new friend.Muchnicer over here than it was sitting alone on my own deck.Andseeing the cozy seating area, it was clearKevinhad bought the pieces with entertaining in mind.AllIhad was a single rattan chair with a side table for my phone and a drink.Itwas evident thatIwanted to be alone back there. “I’mthinking about replacing the deck with a patio whereIcould have an outdoor kitchen and an entertaining area, but that’ll have to wait a few years,Ithink.”
Icould totally see him inviting a group of friends over to grill.He’dprobably mount aTVon the back wall of the house for watching games.Weekendsaround here were made for football, and it seemed like no one was completely free from getting roped into watching.EvenIfound myself over atCarson’splace more often than not.
Ahollow pit formed in my stomach as the image in my mind became clearer.They’dbe a boisterous bunch but always respectful.Kevinwould be at the grill while his partner worked to ensure no one needed anything.Drinkswould always be full and the food would be first-rate.Andthe whole time,I’dbe sitting in the dark, watching their lives over the top of the fence.Beingfriendly wasn’t the same as being friends, and eventually, he’d find a group to hang out with who was closer to his age.
Bartfound a tennis ball somewhere in the yard.WhileKevinuncovered and started the fire pit,Iplayed catch with my dog.Heseemed to realize something was off, and every time he brought the ball back to me, he’d drop it at my feet before giving my hand a quick nuzzle as if reminding me he’d always be there for me.
Thatwas great, butIwasn’t sure it would be enough forever.
“Hey, what’s going on over there?”Kevinasked when he sat in the chair next to mine.Hegave my foot a playful kick. “Mycompany isn’t that bad, is it?”
“What?”Ilooked over, noting the concerned expression on his face. “Oh, no.Sorry, sometimesIget into my head.Iswear, it’s not you.”
“Cool.So, tell me a bit aboutAnsonLangsford,” he urged, taking a long draw off his beer.Iwatched him intently, perhaps too closely.Theway his long, slender fingers wrapped around the neck of the bottle.Howdark pink his lips were when he pulled the bottle away from his mouth.
Thiswas utter madness.MaybeIshould finish the drink he’d been kind enough to offer me and head home beforeIdid or said somethingIcouldn’t take back.Ilifted the bottle to my lips, taking a long draw, planning on doing exactly that.
“What’ssomething no one but your brothers knows about you?”Man, he wasn’t going to give up easily.NotthatIexpected any different.Nowthat he had his hooks in me, it would be nearly impossible for me to break free.Andthe more time we spent together,Ibecame more certain of one thing: ifIwas right and he eventually tired of hanging out with the lonely old man next door, it was going to suck some major dick, asBillyandCarsonwould say.
Ileaned back in my chair, scratching my neatly trimmed beard asItried to think of somethingIcould tell him.Iwas the boring brother.Theoldest, the one who took life too seriously according to most.Therewasn’t much interesting about my life.
Lettingme off the hook,Kevinasked a more specific question. “Didyou always want to be a lawyer?”
Eventhat didn’t have a clear-cut answer.I’dknownIwanted to do something with my life that would give me financial freedom, but it wasn’t likeI’dever dreamed about spending my days looking over contracts and negotiating land deals.Iwasn’t sure anyone did.Finally,Ishrugged. “Maybe.Ididn’t really have a path carved out or anything, butIjoined the debate team in high school, and that was fun.Iwas invited to join mock trial and did really well there too.Sowhen it came time to figure out whatIwanted to do with my life, it made sense.”
“Andwhy real estate law?”Hisposture was relaxed, his tone friendly.Ifthis was how he interrogated suspects,I’dbe surprised if any of them didn’t wind up confessing everything to him.
“Idouble majored in political science and sociology as an undergrad.Ifigured those were two good majors to get me into law school,”Iexplained.Criminallaw would never be for me, and family law could get messy.Ihad all the respect in the world for people who could go into those specialties, but there were too many unknowns. “I’mnot sure if you noticed, but there isn’t exactly a huge need for defense attorneys here, and by the timeI’dgraduated from law school,IknewIwasn’t cut out for city life.Thatnarrowed things down a lot.Whatabout you?Whatmade you become a cop?”
“Iwanted to help people,” he responded immediately.Hesat forward, resting his forearms on his knees. “Iguess we’re alike in some ways because, at first,IthoughtIwanted to move to a big city whereIcould be somewhat anonymous.Thehardest part about high school inHarmonyGrovewas feeling like everyone was in everyone else’s business and wondering how much they knew about my story.”
“Ifit helps,Inever heard anything.”Thatdidn’t count for much sinceIwas only home during breaks when he would have been here before.Butthat didn’t mean much becauseMomwas always the type to keep us abreast of everything happening while we were away.
“Thanks.It’sprobably stupid, but that does mean something becauseIknow you’re not hanging out with me out of pity.”Itsounded like he still held on to a fair bit of the insecurity the teenage version of himself had felt. “Anyway, it was never about catching the bad guys for me.Sure, that will always be part of it, butIjust want to make a difference in the world.Iwant to be there for kids who need someone to listen to them and believe what they say instead of swearing they’re being overdramatic.”
Myheart clenched, wondering what in the world he’d gone through that had left him feeling that way.ButIwouldn’t press.Thatwas something he’d share with me onceI’dearned his trust.Ornot.Somethings were simply too personal to share.
“Andwhy come back toHarmonyGroveif you couldn’t wait to get out?”Thatfelt like an honest enough question he wouldn’t feel likeIwas prodding too deep.
“Mymom’s here.Shesettled into the house we started renting when we first moved in and never had any desire to leave.”Kevinlet out a loud sigh.Heleaned back, massaging his neck. “Idon’t get it, really, because she never grew roots here.Ikeep telling her she should get out of the house and make friends, but she insists it isn’t that easy.Ithought she was nuts untilIgot older.Now,Iget it.”
“Yeah, it’s rough when it seems like everyone you used to know has moved on with their lives,”Icommiserated.I’dlike to sayIwould have welcomed his invitation sooner hadIknown he was struggling, butIprobably wouldn’t have.Iwas one of those anti-social people who didn’t go out of their way to make others feel welcome, as awful as the thought sounded now. “Forme, the peopleIdid like spending time with in high school all moved away to pursue bigger and better things.Theones who stuck around either want to act like they weren’t complete dicks to me in school, or they’re still stuck somewhere around the middle of senior year.ThePeterPanSyndromeis very much real, and all you have to do is visitGuy’sor theTapon aFridaynight to see the proof.”
ThatmadeKevinchuckle.Heraised his bottle, andIdid the same.Aswe clinked them together, he said, “Here’sto finding friends who don’t drive us mad or make us want to slap them for their stunted maturity.”
“Here, here.”Therest of the evening, we took turns asking questions and getting to know one another.Istill didn’t trust this would lead to anything more than us being friendly when we saw one another, butIwas going to enjoy the time while it lasted.
6
ANSON
Thepast weekhadn’t been horrible.Monday,Kevinjust happened to be outside working in the front flower beds whenIpulled in after work.Bartmade a break for it as soon asIopened the door, eager to spend time with his new best friend.Thatled to another night of cooking together, making enough food to feed an army.
