The noise of the drunks on the other side of the bar faded. Trudy approached and, being the professional server she was, she slid the check onto the table then quickly retreated when I held up two fingers. More alcohol was the last thing either of us needed, but it might be the only thing that made him open up to me. And dammit, I wasn’t letting him get away again without lancing the wounds of his past.
“I don’t think they were intentionally shitty parents. They did try, but neither of them ever really grew up either,” he explained. I knew his parents were young, but as he opened up more about what his childhood was like, it sounded like they weren’t well equipped to have a kid who relied on them. “You know, the worst part is, I still feel like an asshole for abandoning them. They needed me to help them and I started packing my bags months ahead of my birthday. I couldn’t fucking wait to get out of there.”
My stool screeched on the tile floor as I scooted closer to Owen. My hand gently kneaded his thigh, the only comfort I knew how to give other than wrapping my arms around him and whispering praise for what an amazing man he was.
I wanted to hate him. Even as I’d walked over here from Michael’s, I’d reminded myself that this was just a chance for us to clear the air and nothing more. I didn’t want to leave myself vulnerable by opening the door to a renewed friendship with Owen, but now my heart was falling out of my chest. It still belonged to him, no matter how many times I’d tried telling myself he didn’t want it.
“You were just a kid, O. You weren’t the parent and it shouldn’t have been your job to take care of them,” I reassured him. It might have been the first time he’d ever heard the words. Owen’s body sagged against mine. I draped an arm over his shoulders, unconcerned with who might see us.
I hated that seeing him fall apart in my arms was what made me recognize glimpses of my old friend in the man next to me. He’d always felt responsible for his family’s happiness, first in terms of trying to make them proud of him, and later, it seemed he’d taken on the financial well-being that should never have been his responsibility.
Something fractured inside of me, and I knew it would be impossible to hold onto the resentment that had bolstered me earlier today. If I wanted him to lower his protective walls, I needed to do the same.
“Do you want to walk around downtown like we used to?” It was a lame suggestion, but neither of us needed to drink more and I didn’t want him to call an end to our time together. Tonight was my last night of freedom until the end of the festival, but I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Owen. There was too much still left unsaid between us.
Owen shrugged. I was probably imagining it, but he felt heavier against my side. It was a struggle to keep my mind from leaping to where it didn’t belong.
Nostalgia begged me to invite him back to Michael’s, where we could sit and talk without having to worry about anyone interrupting us. The embers of the love I’d always carried wanted to pull him into my lap and tell him it was okay to not be everyone’s savior all the time.
Rather than giving him a choice, I took control. He bristled as I gently pushed him away from me, then relaxed when I swiped the check off the corner of the table. “I’m going to take care of this and then we’ll get out of here.”
“Okay.”
It felt like the most natural thing in the world to slip my hand into Owen’s and lead him through the bar. Everyone in Harmony Grove knew I was out. Few had the balls to say anything about it because we’d won several awards recently for the work Harmony House did to foster a welcoming environment for teens. Seeing me parade Owen through the bar wasn’t a shock to anyone.
“This isn’t what I expected when I came back,” Owen mused as we waited for Trudy to cash us out.
“How so?” I pretended I didn’t realize how much things had changed in the years he’d been gone. We’d had valid reasons to be afraid of letting anyone see our truths when we were kids, but times were changing in Harmony Grove. There were still people who bristled at the slightest hint anyone might be less than straight, but we were moving in the right direction.
Owen squeezed my fingers, then slid close enough to me I could feel his body heat against my back. When he spoke, the heat of his breath against my neck made me shiver. “You can’t honestly tell me you imagined we’d be able to be out like this that night you kissed me.”
And just like that, Owen had given a name to the elephant in the room. No matter how many years had passed, I could still feel the damp heat of his lips against mine.
“Back then, no. But now, you’d be surprised.” I swallowed hard, willing my body to not react to those particular memories. “You should have been here last month. People almost shit themselves when the mayor raised a Pride flag in front of City Hall. And then a couple of the Aldermen made it worse when they took down their military flag for the month to fly a Bear Pride flag.”
“Damn, you’re right, that’s shocking as hell.” Owen tried pulling away when Trudy glanced at our joined hands, but I squeezed tighter, unwilling to let him run so soon. “Sorry. I’ve been trying to imagine what it would be like to come back ever since they gave me the assignment. It’s going to take time to believe this is real life.”
I almost suggested he take as long as he needed, but time was something we didn’t have. I was beginning to resent the end of the weekend because that meant Owen would head back to wherever he lived now.
Once I settled our tab, Owen followed me into the parking lot. He kicked at the gravel, and it felt like both of us were trying to figure out what happened next. There wasn’t much to do in town this late, other than drink. As tempting as it was to drink to the point of the truth spilling out, I didn’t want to give up that shred of control. “Did you drive here?”
I shook my head. “I’m crashing at my cousin’s place for the rest of the week. He just lives up the road. Where are you staying?” There were only two options: the hotel at the other end of town or the bed-and-breakfast a couple blocks away.
Owen pointed toward the B&B.
“Are you in a hurry to get back?”
“Last time I checked, I won't turn into a pumpkin at midnight.” He glanced down at his feet. “And I'm not wearing my glass slippers tonight, so you won't have to worry about me losing one of those, either.”
“Damn, and here I was hoping to prove that I'm your Prince Charming,” I quipped. I wasn't sure where this playfulness bubbled up from but I wasn't going to question it. Owen and I used to joke like this all the time. Another tumbler in my heart settled into place.
Owen stepped in front of me, spinning around so we were nearly nose to nose. “You should know you were always my white knight.”
If we'd been walking, I would have tripped over my feet when Owen didn't hesitate before closing the distance between us and pressing his lips gently to mine. The sky didn't come to life with fireworks or anything, but the sizzle of energy that shot through my body sure as hell felt like I'd been transported into a fairytale.
“Was that okay?” Owen whispered. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth the way he always used to do when he was nervous. His eyes darted around like he expected someone to jump out of the shadows at any second.
When I didn't reassure him right away, Owen yanked his hand out of mine and took a step back. “I’m sorry, Tyler. I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what came over me.”
