“Of course,” I replied, trying to sound casual. The truth was, I would’ve done anything for him. It was just that damned voice in the back of my mind that kept whispering doubts about whether I was good enough.
“Hey Teddy? What’s going on?” Shiloh asked, his brow furrowed in concern. “You keep doing that broody thing.”
“Nothing,” I lied, forcing a smile. “Just lost in thought, I guess.”
“About what?” he pressed. I could tell he wasn’t buying my act, but I couldn’t bring myself to share my insecurities with him. Not when he had so much on his plate already.
“Ah, you know, just... life,” I said vaguely, gesturing to the garden around us. “How it all comes together, in the end.”
Shiloh looked at me for a moment, like he was considering whether or not to push further. Eventually, he sighed and nodded, allowing me my privacy. “Yeah,” he agreed softly. “It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?”
As we carried on working, I couldn’t help but think about the gossip I’d overheard recently, whispers that Shiloh’s bakery was only doing so well because it was fresh and new, and that my presence in his life was nothing but a distraction. A few sour voices even complained about the influx of openly gay men in Harmony Grove, as if we were somehow responsible for the empty storefronts that had plagued the town for years.
The exact opposite was true. It was only because of men like Shiloh that the buildings were slowly filling with small businesses. It was the younger generation who seemed to eschew the capitalistic greed of big-box stores in favor of buying local. Plain and simple, the wholewe fear changementality combined with pitting those who were from town against those who moved here later in life was a bigger problem than anything.
I hesitated, unsure if I should voice my concerns. “Do you think I’m holding you back? From making your bakery even more successful?”
He stopped working and looked at me, brow furrowed. “Why would you say that?” he asked, clearly taken aback by my question.
I sighed, tugging at a stubborn weed. “It’s just... sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m a distraction. When we first met, you lived and breathed that bakery. Now, you’ve hired a manager and two more employees, you’re rarely there to open, and you’re here with me in the evenings instead of working on new recipes.”
“Teddy,” Shiloh said, setting down his trowel and stepping closer to me. “Look at me.”
I reluctantly met his gaze, feeling vulnerable under his steady, searching eyes.
“First of all,” he began, his voice tender, “you are the reason I’m no longer living on the edge of burnout. You opened my eyes and made me realize there’s more to life than running a successful business.”
As much as I wanted to accept his reassurances, a part of me still struggled with the weight of my insecurities. I didn’t want to burden him with my doubts, so I tried to brush off his concern. “Sorry, it was just a moment of weakness. Let’s get back to work.”
Shiloh studied me another moment, as if he could sense that I wasn’t entirely convinced. But he didn’t press me further, instead returning to cleaning up from the afternoon of planting.
The rest of the afternoon passed in companionable silence. I looked around at the newly planted garden, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction. Shiloh flopped into one of the plush chairs by the firepit. “Man, I can’t believe how the backyard is coming together.”
“That’s all you. Now, let’s hope you don’t regret your decisions later this summer when you have to come out here to weed and water when it’s hotter than Satan’s asscrack.”
I helped Shiloh out of the chair. We stepped back for one last look before heading back inside for dinner. I felt humbled by our accomplishment—not just for what we had achieved here today but also for where our relationship had taken us so far, from strangers to business partners to lovers. I laced my fingers through Shiloh’s hand as we walked into the house together.
* * *
By the timethe Fourth of July rolled around, it seemed as though Shiloh and I were both finding our grooves, both professionally and personally.
On the mornings he opened the bakery, I got up to make him coffee and eggs so he had something other than carbs in his system. Once he was on his way to the bakery, I’d crawl back into bed until it was time to tackle my to-do list for the day. It wasn’t often that I went home for the night because neither of us slept well then. Plus, I really liked feeling Shiloh attaching himself to my body throughout the night.
When Shiloh started later, he was the first out of bed to make breakfast for me. On those days, by the time I got home, he’d have dinner ready and more often than not it was a recipe he was trying out for the future expanded lunch menu featuring locally grown vegetables and herbs.
But today, both of us were off for the day and we were headed back to Birch Lake. They had one of the best celebrations around, and the fireworks display was top notch.
As I stepped out of the shower, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to the celebration, but it felt strange doing it without Patrick for the first time. Last year, I’d skipped because I’d still been raw from him serving me with divorce papers a few weeks before. I hadn’t wanted to run the risk of seeing him. That was still a very real possibility, as he had family there. I tried to push the thought aside, reminding myself that I was with Shiloh now, and that was what mattered.
“Hey, Teddy!” Shiloh called from the kitchen. “You almost ready to go?”
“Yeah, just give me a minute!” I replied, forcing a smile into my voice. I took a deep breath, finished dressing, and headed out to meet him.
Shiloh waited for me by the door, and my heart swelled with love. He was dressed casually in a pair of shorts and a simple white T-shirt, but he looked effortlessly handsome. He had an excited grin on his face, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“Ready for some fireworks?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. As it turned out, he was as bad as a little kid when it came to the prospect of watching explosions in the sky.
“You bet,” I said, trying to match his enthusiasm. The last thing I wanted was to put a damper on his excitement just because I hadn’t anticipated this being hard on me. “Let’s get going.”
