I’d asked him once if it bothered him that he didn’t have much family, but he’d told me he almost preferred it that way because that allowed him to create the family he wanted. As I looked around the small crowd gathering in front of the chapel, I realized he was onto something. These people weren’t here out of any sense of obligation; they were all here to show their support for Angie and Tanner. They would be here for them in the months and years to come, helping to fill the void he’d left behind with his death.
That circle now included the man to my left, the man I still wished Patrick could have met as my partner, even if he’d given me a hard time about it. But today wasn’t about regrets, it was about celebrating the life of a great man.
Nixon followed me into the chapel, placing his hand on my thigh once we were seated. When Angie started to cry, Nixon was the one pulling out a packet of tissues to hand her. When the service ended, his hand rested at the small of my back, reminding me he was becoming a constant presence in my life. As we walked to the graveside for a final goodbye, Nixon didn’t hesitate for a second before taking my hand in his. The corner of my mouth turned up as I glanced his direction and he winked.
We took our places in the front row, Angie to my right, Nixon to my left, one hand in each of theirs. Saying goodbye to her wasn’t going to be easy, but it needed to be done. As much as I’d always be there if Angie needed me, it was time for me to uproot my life and plant it on the coast where it belonged.
As if she sensed my thoughts, she leaned close while we waited for everyone to take their places. “Patrick would’ve loved seeing you this happy. When are you guys headed home?”
“I guess we’ll go back to my place after the dinner,” I responded. She looked at me as though I was dense.
“That’s not what I mean, Lincoln. When are you flying back to Wilmington? I know you want to stick around to make sure I’m okay, but you have a life, too.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed my cheek. “Your house might be here, but your home is wherever he’s at. I can tell. You need to hold on to that with everything you have, because there are no guarantees in life.”
Her voice broke, but she didn’t start sobbing the way she had the first couple of days following Patrick’s death. It’d been a shock for all of us, but once that wore off, we knew we’d have been in the same situation sooner or later because of his condition. I think, on some level, she was relieved that he wasn’t suffering anymore. She could remember Patrick the way he’d been that last week instead of watching him fade until there was nothing left of the man she fell in love with.
“I haven’t talked to him about it yet,” I told her, hoping Nixon wasn’t listening in on our conversation.
Nixon leaned forward, addressing Angie directly. “I’m heading back Thursday night. I booked the seat next to mine in case Linc wants to come with, but if he’s not ready, no sweat. I’ll enjoy the extra room.”
“He’ll be ready,” Angie said at the same time I said, “You did? How did you know…”
“I didn’t. But I was hoping you’d want to come back with me. I don’t know how it is for you, but as far as I’m concerned, Angie’s right on the money. You’re my home and I don’t want to live without you anymore.” All the conversations around us quieted, hopefully because I was so focused on what Nixon was trying to say and not because they were all watching us have a completely out of place conversation. “I know the timing sucks. I’d hoped to talk to you about it tonight, but I want you to move in with me. If not now, then whenever you’re ready, but if we’re going to keep doing this, I need to know it’s the real deal. I don’t want to take things slow. I don’t want one foot in the pool. I want it all.”
“So help me, if this is you proposing to me, you need to work on your romantic gestures.” Nixon’s cheeks turned pink, and I didn’t think it was from the cool January breeze. I slid my arm around his waist, pulling him close enough to whisper. “But if that’s what this is, then I’d say yes, even if it is at a graveyard.”
“You would?” Nixon’s eyes were wide as saucers. “I mean, it’s not, but is that what you want?”
“Only if you do,” I assured him. “Until then, I will gladly move in with you.”
“Good. And I promise when I do propose to you, it won’t be in the middle of a funeral.”
“I had faith even you weren’t that unromantic.” I kissed the side of his head as the minister took his place.
Our story might’ve had a false start and earned a few penalties along the way, but this was a Hail Mary pass I fully intended to catch. For the rest of our lives, it was going to be the two of us taking on whatever came our way together.
Epilogue
Nixon
April
The comfort zone was something I’d left so far behind I could barely remember why I’d insisted on hiding there for so much of my life. I still wasn’t the extrovert Linc was, but I no longer broke out in hives when he wanted to do something simple like go out for a date night. Life was…unrecognizably good.
We’d barely seen Hunter in the four months since Old Dominion’s bowl game win. Much to Linc’s chagrin, Hunter withdrew from his spring semester when he was invited to an elite training camp in Arizona. His life had been a whirlwind of training, both on and off the field, interviews, preparation for the combine, more interviews, and more training.
I may not be his parent, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t damn proud of the changes I’d noticed, both in his physical size and his attitude. All of that hard work would pay off later tonight.
Linc was locked in his office, reading through journals Patrick had kept between the time he started noticing symptoms and his death. He’d given up most of his speaking engagements, preferring to spend his time helping the league find ways to reduce the risk of more players suffering the way Patrick and others from our generation had. I’d tried giving him space, but there was too much to do before our guests arrived. I knocked on the door before pushing it open.
“Hey, I know you’re trying to work, but I could use some help out here.” I wanted to have as much done as possible before Isabella and her fiancé arrived.
I’d played off Hunter and Lincoln’s playful ribbing, but seeing the ex-wife was more nerve-wracking for me than waiting for the phone to ring would be for Hunter. He knew there’d be good news on the other end of the line; I had to hope the guys were right when they said she wouldn’t blame me for breaking up their marriage.
“Okay, let me just make a few notes and I’ll be out.” A few notes by Lincoln’s standards meant he could easily spend another three hours holed up in the office.
It wasn’t even a month after Patrick’s death when Angie had called to say she’d found a folder on his computer with Lincoln’s name on it. Somehow, Patrick had known Linc would be the one to become an advocate for players past, present, and future. The frustration he’d felt back in November fueled him to stay in contact with everyone from the head office to doctors specializing in CTE research to those who ran youth programs around the country.
As far as he was concerned, there had to be a way to prevent players from dying for the sport they loved, and he wasn’t going to stop until he found it.
