I debated turning the attention away from me because now Ireallywanted to know what was going on when Ryan found him. But I wasn’t the only one who deserved answers. “Actually, Ryan’s flying out this morning, and we’ll be back there by next week. I’m heading down to turn in the keys and do a walk-through later today.”
“You’re shitting me! That’s awesome.” I listened as Mav rambled about all the people he wanted me to meet. If he had his way, I wasn’t going to be moving to a place where I only knew him and Ryan. I had a ready-made group of friends waiting for me. And because they were all in the lifestyle, I didn’t have to worry about what they’d think of Ryan being Daddy sometimes.
“I’ll talk to Ryan to see if we can have you and John over for dinner once I get there,” I offered. No way was I going to wait until I was settled to meet the man who’d turned the commitmentphobe into a hopeless romantic who couldn’t help but gush about the love of his life.
“That would be cool. I’d like John to spend some time with Ryan outside of the club. Last night was…intense, and the testosterone and posturing was stifling,” he admitted.
“Want to tell me about that?” He left the door wide open, and the curiosity was killing me.
Mav made a strange little squeaking noise. “Would it be okay if we waited on that until you’re here? I promise, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but this feels like a conversation that would be better face to face.”
Gee, that wasn’t unsettling or anything. I swear, if I got to Annandale and found out Mav was putting himself in dangerous positions for the sake of getting off, I was going to kick his ass. I didn’t care how much he loved and trusted John.
Andthatwas probably why Ryan made me promise I wouldn’t pressure Mav into talking before he was ready. Damn him for knowing me so well. But I wanted him to be proud of me, so I wasn’t going to complain about waiting. “Yeah, but while they get to know one another, the two of us are going to have a long ass talk. You fucking scared me, Mav.”
“I really am sorry about that,” he apologized again. “I got caught up in everything here. Being with someone like me isn’t easy, and it’s even more complicated for John. Again, that’s a story for once you’re here, so you can get to know him and not judge him, but I think it was easy for me to try and make his life easier. But that’s no excuse for not checking in with you like I promised I would.”
“No, it’s not,” I agreed. There were footsteps and low voices in the hall, signaling that Deegan and Haley were awake. That meant it was time for me to break it to them that we were hosting a family cook out here this weekend. “I hate to cut this short, but I need to talk to Haley. I might have offered up their place for family dinner this weekend so I can tell the family I’m moving and there’s nothing they can do about it.”
“Damn, I’d almost love to be a fly on the wall when that happens. Do you think Ryan would record the moment so I can watch your mom’s head explode when she realizes it’s going to be even harder for her to control you?” I laughed because that was such a typical Mav request. “Ugh, you’re not going to, are you?”
“I would, but I think we’d better at least try to keep the peace.” With any luck, Dad would keep her under control. Since Nana’s stroke, he’d been busting his ass to make up for all the shit he’d let her put me through. He seemed truly remorseful, and I was seeing him in a new light. It made me wonder what he was like before he got together with her. “I’ll call you once I know our plans for flying back.”
“You’d fucking better. Man, I didn’t realize how much I missed you until this morning.”
“Way to make a guy feel special,” I quipped, even though I understood what he was saying. If I’d been the one to move out there, we might have had the same lapse in communication. I needed to remember that and go easy on him. “See you next week, Mav. And, at the very least, I expect you to send me a picture of you with this new Daddy of yours.”
“Done.” Seconds later, my phone chimed with an incoming text. “Don’t open it until we hang up, otherwise you’re going to have even more questions and it sounds like you’ve got shit to do.”
“Fine.” That didn’t mean I wouldn’t text him my reaction as soon as I opened the picture. “Talk soon.”
After we hung up, I grabbed the first outfit out of the suitcase Haley had packed for me. If I had to be up this early, there needed to be copious amounts of coffee. And I had to let Deegan and Haley know everything that had transpired since last night when I’d bailed on them.
24
Ryan
It washard to believe this was the last time I’d fly home from Oregon without my boy next to me. Everything had changed so much since the end of last year, I sometimes had to pinch myself to remember it wasn’t all a dream. The distance between us made it that much harder to accept that Tanner was really mine.
Sitting on Deegan’s back deck with a beer in hand and Tanner sleeping on my lap was more than I’d ever dreamed I could have. I’d convinced myself from the first time I looked at Tanner as something other than my buddy’s little brother, that Deegan would kick my ass if he so much as caught me looking at him the wrong way. But that wasn’t the case. From time to time, I noticed Deegan watching us and smiling, and that silent acceptance meant the world to me.
“He feels safe with you,” Deegan observed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that still before. Even when he’s asleep, he’s usually all over the place.”
Funny, other than a couple of nights when Tanner was stressed out, I’d never had that experience. Yes, he was like an octopus wrapping his limbs around my body and holding on for dear life, but once he was comfortable, he stayed like that. It settled me to hear Deegan speak highly of the effect I had on Tanner. “He’s been carrying a load of worry that wasn’t his to bear for a long time. Maybe he finally trusts that he’s not alone.”
“I fucking hate that I didn’t stick up for him sooner. I’m lucky he’s giving me another shot.” If it wouldn’t have jostled Tanner, I would have smacked Deegan upside the head.
Yes, he’d been an ass for a lot of years, but he was trying to do better now. And really, it wasn’t completely his fault. He’d basically been groomed from a young age to be their mom’s golden boy, and if there was one thing I knew about the Fincham boys, it was that they were both people pleasers. He went along with what Lillian expected because it was the easiest way to gain her approval.
“He’s got a heart of gold, man. After the way you stood up for him at the hospital, he understands that you’re not the jerk he thought you were,” I assured him. “It sucks that the two of you are just starting to get along and now I’m taking him away.”
“I don’t see it like that at all,” Deegan argued. “You’re giving him freedom. He’d never have that here. No matter how much he tries saying he doesn’t give a shit what any of us think of him, there’s something deep down that keeps trying to gain Mom’s approval. With you, he won’t be under her thumb. And it’s not like you’re getting away from us. I fully expect there to be a guest room ready when we come out to visit.”
“You’re welcome anytime.” The alarm went off on my phone and I gently shook Tanner awake. The family would start arriving soon, and it wouldn’t start the night on a good note if he was still napping. “Hey sleepyhead, it’s time to get up.”
Tanner tightened his arms around my torso and buried his face in the crook of my neck. He shook his head and grumbled. “Don’t wanna. Comfy here.”
Deegan laughed and excused himself, saying he needed to fire up the grill and check on Haley. She was the real hero of the weekend. She hadn’t complained when Tanner asked if it was okay to invite the family over for dinner, and she’d insisted on doing all the food prep so he and I could make up for lost time. The eyebrow lift that followed that offer, suggested she thought there was going to be far more sex than there had been.
