“Maybe he’s not the one who needs to move,” I admitted. Saying it to Haley felt safer than either of the brothers. “What if I moved back, and we could build something of our own together?”
Haley pursed her lips and shook her head. “Hell no. That’s the last thing either of you need. If you’re here, you won’t be able to let down your guard, and you’ll both be living a half-life. He needs a bit of upheaval in his life, too, because until now he’s been content with the path of least resistance. He needs to be challenged to reach his potential.”
Damn, someone had big time thoughts and feelings on the situation. I’d been so focused on feeling like I was forcing Tanner to change his life to suit me, but maybe Haley was right. Maybe it was up to me to make Tanner see that moving was best for him, too.
I hugged Haley and kissed the side of her head. “Thanks, Hales. I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because all you boys are the same. You waffle between thinking with your dicks and focusing on all the wrong things. Now, get the meat in the marinade, otherwise we’re never going to eat.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I saluted her on my way to the fridge. If there was any sort of power exchange in their relationship, I had no doubt Haley would be the one putting Deegan on his knees. The thought of my best friend submitting was funny as hell, but not impossible to imagine.
The rest of the day went better than any of us had probably expected. Haley and Tanner took off after lunch for an afternoon of shopping, while Deegan and I kicked back with beers and basketball the way we had throughout college.
Tanner was right. The chasm between Deegan and me was holding us back. We’d needed today, and I was finally looking forward to getting on with the future.
17
Tanner
“So,what’s it going to take to get you to agree to come home with me?” Ryan asked one morning, almost a week after he’d shocked the hell out of me. This was the subject neither of us wanted to address, but I knew it was inevitable.
Ryan spent every morning making calls and attending online meetings while I slept, and every evening he came to the mall with dinner in hand. He didn’t bitch about eating fast(ish) food and he didn’t tell me I could do so much better if I just applied myself a bit. He was one of the few people in my life who understood that—for the most part—I liked what I did. I didn’t need a fancy degree hanging on the wall or some pretentious title. Ilikedhelping people look and feel their best.
Still, it was a job I could get in any city in the country, so the job wasn’t a viable reason for me to stay on the west coast. If anything, I would be better off with a fresh start because my area manager had a bad habit of hiring and promoting his buddies, and I would never be an ass-kisser.
“Making me breakfast in bed every morning is one hell of a way to start,” I quipped. It wasn’t that I expected him to wait on me hand and foot, but once I got past my reservations that he’d see me as needy or codependent, I realized he actually meant it when he said taking care of me was what did it for him. He was happy when I was happy and, to him, nothing beat knowing that he was the one to fulfill my needs.
And, damn, did he ever fulfillall my needs.It probably sounded shallow as hell, but I was pretty sure I was turning into a sex fiend, and the sad reality that my dick on demand would be going away when I dropped him off at the airport was also a pretty convincing reason to get over my bullshit fears.
I sat up straighter and humored him, letting him fluff the pillows behind me. I looked up as he bent down to kiss my head.
“Damn, you smell fuckable.” He kissed his way down my neck before latching his teeth into my collarbone. That was going to leave a mark. “I’m serious, Tanner. Name your price. What do I need to do to make you see we’re both happier when we’re together? I don’t know about you, but I get awfully damn sick of my right hand.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from blurting something out before thinking. I’d imagined telling him I’d made my decision over a romantic dinner or while we walked along the perimeter of the lake with only the moonlight to illuminate the path. I don’t know why, but this felt like the type of thing I didn’t want to say when my hair was sticking up at every angle and I still had a raging case of morning breath.
“I know you worry about what you’ll do for work, but you don’t need to,” he reminded me. “If you want to take a bit of time to figure out where you see yourself, you can do that.”
“So you’ve said. And, like I keep telling you, I don’t know if I’m cut out to be your kept boy.” Certain parts of me were on-board with that fantasy. Sexy images filled my head of him texting me, demanding that I be waiting when he got home, naked and on my knees. But I knew myself; thanks to the work ethic drilled into us by our parents, there was no way I’d be able to overcome the feeling I was taking advantage of him.
Ryan nuzzled his nose into the crook of my neck. I pushed him away, making exaggerated gagging sounds because—eww, I reeked like stale sweat and sex.
“Come on, baby. It doesn’t have to be right this minute, but I want to know we have a plan in place before I leave, something for both of us to work toward.”
I could imagine it now; Ryan would have a checklist of everything I told him needed to happen before I moved, and he’d get more excited with every box he could fill with a check mark. He was nothing if not obsessively organized.
Maybe it’d be fun to email him a list after he was gone, just to see how he’d react.
“What if we put a time limit on how long you can be out of work? Would that help?” Ryan settled onto the bed next to me and pulled me onto his lap. He held out the bagel he’d toasted, and I took a bite. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re there to be my live-in sex toy...”
“But I can be, right?” I flipped around to straddle his legs, grinding against his dick. “Even once I have a job, you’ll still go good and hard on me? I don’t want this to be one of those situations where I move in with you and suddenly our sex life dies. I’m way too young and hot to be celibate.”
Ryan kneaded my ass cheeks, guiding my body back and forth against his groin. “Baby, that’s something I can promise you will never happen. When I’m old and can’t get it up, I promise I’ll go to the doctor to get a pill to help me out. I can’t think of anything worse than not being able to feel your ass clenching around my dick like a vise.”
“Damn, and you accuse me of being dramatic,” I teased. He popped my hip and I yelped, even though it didn’t really hurt. “I’m just sayin’, that was one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever said to me, but it was cheesy as hell, too.”
“I think you’re rubbing off on me.”
“Well, I’m trying, but for some stupid reason we’re still sitting here talking.” Ryan shoved his hands down the back of the tiny underwear he’d dressed me in last night. I would have preferred sleeping naked so I could wake up with his erection nestled against my ass, but Ryan had a thing for seeing my cock and balls encased in pretty, luxurious fabric.
