It was difficult for me to talk about Club DeSires when I was here. It wasn't that I was embarrassed about my latest business venture but, again, I didn't want everybody feeling the need to give me their unsolicited opinion about me being a partner in a kink club.
It wasn't something I’d consciously had on my list of possibilities, but when Jack mentioned how much more he could do if he had an investor, it felt like the right time to do something with the money I'd squirreled away in savings. This project wasn't for anything other than my own personal interests.
It wasn't a company I bought into with the intention of turning things around and then selling it for a profit. It had nothing to do with how the success or failure would impact my net worth. My investment in the club was solely because I believed the community needed more safe places for people to learn about and express their authentic selves.
“I'll tell you whatever you want to know,” I promised Tanner. “But only if you get your lazy bones in gear. We have other things to talk about today, too.”
Tanner grunted, knowing what was coming.
“Don't be like that, Tanner. We need to make damn sure both of us are on the same page before I have to leave tonight. You know this.” Yes, things were more complicated with me living in another state, but there would have been rules regardless of geography.
“Doesn't mean I have to like it,” he grumbled. “I don't want to think about anything that makes me admit you’re leaving me.”
“I'm not leaving you. I'm simply getting back to everything that has been waiting for me while I been taking care of my boy. And before I leave for the airport, we'll figure out when we’ll be able to meet up. Do you want me to come to you or are you willing to visit and see where I live?”
“I don't have a lot of money for flying back and forth,” Tanner admitted. He leaned against the small table, shoulders rounding as if he was embarrassed to tell me he wasn’t in the same place financially as I was.
I grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the bed. “You think that's going to stop you from coming to stay with me? I have enough money that if you agreed to go all in with me, you wouldn't have to rush to find a job you actually wanted to do instead of busting your ass to get from one paycheck to the next.
“I don't want you feeling like you have to support me.” He lifted his gaze, jutting out his chin and squaring his shoulders. “I might be okay with you taking care of me in the bedroom, but you have to treat me like your equal, too. Otherwise, you’ll eventually resent me and grow tired of me mooching off of you.”
“But what if that's exactly what I want to do? I love you, Tanner. And that means I'll do anything I can to make you happy.” I understood what he was saying, but even if I never worked another day in my life, it was unlikely Tanner would catch up to me financially. That was the result of working hard enough to try to ignore everything that wasn’t right in my life.
“But I won’t be happy if I’m mooching off of you.” He relaxed a bit and wrapped his arms around my waist, using my head as a pillow. “You know how I was raised. I need to earn my keep.”
“That's a difference of mindset we’ll have to figure out a way past.” In an ideal world, he wouldn’t have to do anything to contribute to the house, but he’d never agree to that. And I respected the hell out of him for his work ethic. “But that’s not something that needs to be addressed today. There are other things that are far more important.”
“Like the rules?” Tanner slumped harder against me. “I'm probably not going to be any good with whatever these rules you keep threatening me with are,” he warned me.
“Well, that'll work out perfectly for me then because I have no problem putting disobedient boys in their place. It'd be a shame if the first thing I have to do when we’re together again is paddle that pretty behind until you can't sit down.”
“Doesn't sound like much of a threat to me.”
“True. I might have to think of something more fitting for you. It's crazy how much you crave the pain. When you come out to see me, are you going to let me test your limits?”
“I'll be disappointed if you don't,” he replied. Surprisingly, it was Tanner who wiggled out of my arms and stood. “We need to get a move on. I don't want to miss breakfast before we get on the road.”
“Oh? Do you have big plans for today?” I’d expected him to be reluctant when I asked if it was okay for us to spend part of today at his place. I wasn’t sure if he was ready for his roommate to know about us, and he seemed hung up on the fact that he was still living like a college kid. It was ridiculous to me that he expected to have his life in order when he wasn’t much older than someone who’d recently graduated. The only thing that mattered to me when it came to his home, was that it was safe for him.
“If this is my last chance to have you fill me up, I want to get back to my place as quick as possible,” he informed me.
Maybe I shouldn't let him tell me what was going to happen, but there were times I was more than willing to follow his lead. And in this case, it seemed both of us were on the same page, so it was safe to let him think he was in control.
I slipped the keycard into my pocket and my hand into Tanner’s. I hugged him tightly while we waited for the elevator, wanting to stay connected to him for as much of today as possible. We somehow managed to keep our hands off one another while riding down to the first floor, not wanting to make the elderly couple already on the elevator uncomfortable.
The dining room was already clearing out, as most of the guests during the week were here for conferences and such. I sent Tanner to find a table and order for us while I checked out.
One of the benefits of knowing Tanner for as long as I had, was knowing all the ways he’d try to avoid doing what he was told. If things weren't written down, there was no doubt in my mind he'd try to claim he'd forgotten the rules. That was why everything would be clearly spelled out on the legal pad the front desk clerk had offered me when I asked if there was someplace close by to purchase a notebook.
Tanner jumped when I dropped the pad of paper onto the table. “What's that for?”
I quirked an eyebrow and chuckled. “You know damn well what that's for, sweetheart.”
Instead of sitting next to him, I sat across the table. It pained me to put distance between us, but I couldn't let my boy distract me this morning.
“I figured this was as good a time as any to discuss the rules. That way we both know what to expect when I go home tonight,” I explained, already jotting down some of the rules we’d agreed to when we’d first arrived.
“Fine,” Tanner grumbled. “What are these rules you're so hellbent on giving me?”
