I didn't hear what either of them said after that. My brain had short-circuited on the wordboyfriend. It was silly how, even though we’d talked about the fact neither of us were willing to say goodbye when it was time for Ryan to head home, hearing him call me his boyfriend to a total stranger somehow confirmed that he wasn’t trying to blow smoke up my ass.
Ryan clutched my hand. “I hope that was okay.”
“More than,” I reassured him. It felt nearly impossible to draw a full breath. The reality that he wasn't lying about this being more than a fling was starting to settle in.
He lifted our joined hands to his mouth. “Good, because I've been waiting years to call you that.”
“You’re right. You totally should have come clean a long time ago,” I grumbled.
“Weren't you the one just telling me how immature you used to be?”
“First of all, that was you,” I argued. “And second, if I was immature and a brat, that’s all the more reason you should have done your Domly duty and just told me how it was going to be.”
“My Domly duty?” Ryan chuckled, shaking his head. He twisted in his seat, holding my hand tightly. “We can wish all we want that things were different, but we both know it wouldn’t have worked if we’d gotten together back then. And you wouldn’t have been the reason for our demise. Yes, you were a brat, but I was just as immature. The pressure of what everyone expected of me would have been too much.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’m old enough to realize it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of me. I know what it's like to not have you next to me and I'd rather not spend the rest of my life miserable just to make other people comfortable.”
While that was admirable, I still worried about his friendship with Deegan. I didn't trust that my brother’s cautious acceptance of us the night of the reception would last forever. Once the honeymoon was over—literally, in his case—he’d remember all the reasons he was pissed off that his friend had not only lied to him but was also sleeping with me.
“Does that include my brother?” As much as I didn't want to know the answer, it had to be addressed. No way in hell was I going to be the reason for a permanent rift between the two of them. That would make family holidays hella awkward.
“I think he'll be okay once he gets over the shock. I'm sure he'll have questions for me, but those will likely be about how he never got the impression I was gay.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and his shoulders slumped forward. “Looking back, I wish I hadn’t tried to hide from everyone. It was selfish, and I’ll understand if everyone’s upset because I didn’t trust them enough to come out.”
“It’s not like you didn’t have a good reason,” I scoffed. “You saw how they acted around me. I don’t blame you for wanting to keep that part of yourself safe. Hell, I’m jealous you were able to.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “That makes me feel even worse. I shouldn’t have let a kid bear that burden alone.”
“I wasn’t a fucking kid,” I growled. Sooner or later, he was going to have to quit saying shit like that because it was really starting to piss me off.
“No, you weren’t.” He kissed my cheek and squeezed my thigh. “Forgive me?”
“As long as you let that shit go. It’s annoying as fuck that you’re still thinking of me as some sort of helpless kid.” I sat up straighter and gripped his chin the way he did to me when he wanted to make sure I was listening. “I was plenty strong enough to deal with their bullshit then, and I’m not going to put up with it now. And you’d better fucking believe that means if they try saying anything about you when you’re not around.”
“My little fighter.” The embrace was awkward as he hugged me tightly in the somewhat cramped booth. “But we’re getting off track here. Even if it takes time for Deegan to come to his senses, he's not going to convince me to walk away from you.”
“But he's been your best friend since the two of you were kids,” I protested.
“Which is why he needs to get over his own shit and be happy for me. Wouldn't you agree?”
“I guess you're right.” My stomach churned, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to eat my meal when it arrived. This was a hell of a lot to deal with when I’d spent most of my life trying to avoid getting into relationships. It felt like every possible complication was being thrown our way.
Ryan leaned over, pressing his lips to my ear. “One thing that will make life a whole lot easier on both of us is if you realize Daddy is always right.”
He sucked and nipped my earlobe. When he started kissing his way down my neck, my jeans grew painfully tight. I squirmed in my seat.
When I reached down to adjust myself, Ryan chuckled. “Are we having a problem over there, sweetheart?”
“You know damn well what the problem is,” I grumbled. “You kept me hard all day.”
“Did you want me to do something about that?”
“I swear, if you're teasing me right now, I'm going to make sure you go home with the worst case of blue balls ever.”
Ryan bit down on my neck. We both know that won't happen. “You’re way too greedy to deny yourself the pleasure of having my dick stuffed inside of you.” He dropped his hand to my lap, squeezing the front of my jeans. “What if I offered to help you out with this right here at the table? Would that cross a line?”
“Not at all,” I responded breathlessly. He quirked an eyebrow, silently waiting for the response I knew he expected. The man got off on hearing me beg. “Please, Daddy. I need to come.”
