“That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid,” he told me. “I don’t need trouble here, especially the type that would put me in the middle.”
The threat came loud and clear. I washisfamily, but if I caused problems for the club, there would be a wall between us.
Disgusted, I stood and waved over my shoulder as I walked out. There was nothing left for me to say to him. On the bright side, he’d made the prospect of hiding at the club the last thing I wanted to do tonight.
3
Mav
Ever since I was little, it had been impossible for me to sleep the night before a trip or a big event. Moving across the country checked both of those boxes, so I’d spent the entire night awake, wondering if I was making the biggest mistake ever.
Tanner had insisted on me staying at Nana’s house so he could drive me to the airport this morning. Around two in the morning, he’d come downstairs and curled up on the couch with me. We would never work out as a couple, but I loved that man more than I could imagine possible. He listened to me ramble and promised me this was going to be a good thing. He was even going to call Ryan and tell him to get in touch with me so there was someone else I knew out here.
By the time we got to Sam’s house, I was half-asleep. Theron chuckled as he opened the door and held out a hand to steady me as I got out of the car. “It’s just about Sam’s naptime and I think you might be ready for one, too.”
I nodded sleepily.
“Sammy can show you to your room and I’ll bring your bags up,” he told me. I probably should have at least offered to get them myself, but I was grateful for the help.
Sam and I had talked a bit about their dynamic before I agreed to move out here. He wanted me to feel welcome in their home, but he also worried he would have to hide his little side when I was around. That was the last thing I wanted. He finally had a Daddy who loved and accepted him for who he was. If anything, I was curious to see it for myself because that type of relationship was something I’d only dreamed about.
“After naptime, we’ll have a snack,” Sam told me as we trudged up the short staircase to the upper level of the house. “Normally, I’m little all the time on weekends when we’re at home, but we’re having company tonight. That means no playtime right away.”
I pouted because I was excited to see the playroom in the basement. Sam hadn’t stopped talking about everything his Daddy bought for the space. It sounded like heaven, even if I didn’t think I would ever be the type of boy who wanted diapers or pacifiers and sippy cups. There was something freeing about the idea of letting go of all the adult problems and just having fun.
He swung open the door to the room I’d stayed in the first time I visited, and I nearly cried. Most of the space was similar to how it had been before, but the bedding was no longer the dull gray and navy it had been before. The soft gray comforter still covered the bed, but the pillows were now shades of pink and black in every texture imaginable. And in one corner, there was a vanity with globe lights framing the mirror and a tall storage chest next to it.
“Daddy wanted you to have a space of your own, too,” he told me as he pulled me into a hug. “I hope it’s okay that I told him some of the things you told me you like.”
“It’s…amazing.” I didn’t know where to look first. I sat on the plush chair in the opposite corner of the room and started untying my shoes. “No one’s ever done something like this for me before.”
“Well, get used to it.” Sam sat at the end of the bed and folded his legs under him. “Daddy thinks every boy should have a space that feels like him. And you need to stop hiding who you are.”
“Is that him talking or you?” I worried my bottom lip, not sure how I felt about how much Theron might know about me. Sure, he’d seen my pretty side before, but I hadn’t told anyone here how out of character that had been for me. As far as they knew, I was a confident, unapologetically gender fluid man. They didn’t know that every day was a struggle for me to choose between living authentically or flying under the radar.
“Mostly me. Don’t worry, Mav. I didn’t tell him anything I thought you wouldn’t want him to know,” he promised. “But when he asked me what sorts of things you were into, I did tell him about your clothes and makeup. I hope that’s okay. I hate that you don’t wear all the stuff you buy.”
“Me too.” Until today, I’d resented my wardrobe because it represented wasted money I could have spent on other things. Now, those pieces would be the foundation for me reinventing myself. By the time Tanner moved East, even he’d barely recognize me. I placed my shoes against the wall and sat next to Sam, wrapping my arms around him. “Thank you, Sam. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of this, but I’m going to find a way to pay you back.”
“No need,” he responded dismissively. “It will be payback enough if you promise you’re not going to keep hiding. You wanted a fresh start, and this is it. Be you, Mav. Let everyone here see how pretty and amazing you are.”
“I’ll try.” That was as close to a promise as I could come.
Theron bumped against the door and Sam jumped up to open it for him. I watched as he put my suitcases into the closet, then approached me. I startled when he pulled back the comforter. “Come on, Maverick. The sooner you lay down, the easier it’ll be for me to put Sammy down for his nap.”
“Okay.” It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I realized how strange it was that I allowed a man I’d only met one other time to tuck me into bed. It felt nice, but I couldn’t get used to it. Theron was Sam’s Daddy, not mine.
But maybe now that I was here, I could find a Daddy of my own.
* * *
The sun had setat some point while I was sleeping. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes, cringing when I felt the remnants of my makeup on my fingers. I looked at the pillow and tried to not freak out over the black smears on the pink pillowcases. I’d have to take them down to the laundry in the morning and hope the stains came out.
When I heard muffled voices and laughter drifting up the stairs, I remembered Sam mentioning something about them having company tonight. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to join them or if this was a private affair and I was expected to hang out in my room all night. I wasn’t much in the mood to socialize, but since Sam hadn’t said anything, I figured I was allowed to be part of the crowd.
Hopefullycrowdwas an exaggeration. I wasn’t good with groups of people I didn’t know, unless we were at a club. For some reason, that was different than being surrounded by strangers in private.
After grabbing my toiletries out of my carry-on bag, I peeked into the hall to make sure no one was there. A layer of travel grime coated my skin and I looked like hell. That wasn’t the first impression I wanted to make on anyone.
