He’d whisper all the things he wanted to do to me, then back away before I could beg him to do it now. Every room was fully equipped with cleaning wipes, and if it was something that needed to be sanitized, I would have taken it home to clean and brought it back tomorrow.
But he said no. He wanted to help me start my own toybox.
As morning drifted into late afternoon, John grew quiet and detached. If that asshole was going to pull away again, I was going to introduce him to a bit of CBT, andnotthe type you needed to go to college for.
“Hey, is everything okay?” We had just finished unpacking the last box in the last room, and everything was in its place. John was slumped against the wall, arms resting on his knees. I sat down in front of him and slipped my legs under his. “You’re freaking me out a little bit here. You said you weren’t going to go cold anymore.”
“I haven’t thought this through well,” he admitted, not looking at me. Just like he’d done to me earlier, I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. He flashed me a half-hearted smile. “Sorry, it’s not you, this is all me.”
“If you want to slow down, we can,” I reminded him. “We don’t have to go at the speed of light for me to be happy. But then you might need to give me permission to come whenever I ask because blue balls suck.”
“That’s not it,” he reassured me. “Not this time, at least. And maybe I’m making too big of a deal out of nothing, but logistics could be an issue.”
It took me a minute to understand what he was saying. Then, it was like a lightbulb clicked on in my head. “Do you have roommates or something? If it helps, I can be quiet when I need to.”
“Um, not exactly.” He scrubbed a hand over his hair and cocked his head to the side. “The thing is, after some shit went down in my life, I needed a change. One of the things I did was give up my apartment when I realized there was a cheaper way to live.”
“Okay?” I was failing to see how any of this should concern me. “John, I know I might give off certain vibes, but I’m not really a diva.”
“Sweetheart, of all the things I’ve thought about you, that was never anywhere on my radar.”
I scooted closer and placed my arms on top of his. “Then tell me whatever it is you think is going to scare me away so I can show you all the reasons you’re wrong.”
“I’m starting to think you enjoy putting me in my place,” he scoffed. The corner of his mouth tipped up in a crooked grin. “Don’t get too used to that.”
“You’re stalling,” I pointed out.
“Yeah, I am. The stupid thing is, I’ve never been the type to worry about what anyone thinks of me but, for some reason, it’s important that you approve.” Sam had made a comment about how John was like a truffle. He had this hard outer shell, but then he was all soft and sweet on the inside. I felt like I was finally getting a glimpse of that gooey side. “I’m just going to lay it out.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” I quipped.
“I live in a trailer,” he told me.
I shrugged because that was nothing new for me. Until my parents died, I’d lived in a run-down park on the outskirts of town. Sure, there were newer homes being moved in from time to time, but that was because the rest of the places were so old, they were no longer able to be sold. “Okay.”
“Okay? That’s it?” He gaped at me. “I don’t mean a mobile home, Mav. I mean like a camper. It’s roomy and all, but still, not many guys my age live in a place they can hitch to the back of a truck and head down the road.”
“Then I guess I’d better not piss you off,” I teased, trying to keep the mood light. “I’d hate for you to get upset and drive off in the middle of the night.”
“I’m pretty sure that would be impossible.” He curled a hand around the back of my neck. “It’s better than having to worry about Sam and Theron overhearing the things I want to do to you, but it’s not luxurious. And some nights, things can get a bit rowdy. If I tell you to stay inside, I need to know you’ll listen to me. This isn’t one of those playful times when it’s okay to disobey because you’ll get a punishment. It’s for your own good.”
“I might be little, but I’m more than capable of taking care of myself,” I argued. There were times when he could be my knight in shining armor, but I wasn’t going to be locked in a cage for my own safety.
“I know you are. You’re a spitfire, and I’m sure you’re scrappy as hell in a fight. But the guys who hang around next door aren’t the most civilized,” he explained. “I’d hate for one of them to hurt you because then I’d have to kill them, and that would start this whole spiral of drama I’d rather not deal with.”
“Fine. I’ll be a good little boy.” I wasn’t happy, but there was raw fear in John’s tone. A sane man would have refused to go to a place like the one he described, but I wasn’t always smart when I had a gorgeous man in front of me. “But you’ll have to give me a cookie when you get back as a reward.”
“Babe, you’ll get a lot from me, but it’s not going to be cookies.” He stood, holding my hands as he pulled me up. “And as long as you’re waiting naked in my bed, I’ll give you whatever you ask for.”
“Even if I wanted to top you?” I had zero desire to penetrate him, but it was fun to see him squirm. I’d tried it once and didn’t enjoy it in the least. Ever since then, I’d been the happy recipient, as long as the guy I was with knew what he was doing.
“Let’s not push things.” John pressed a kiss to the side of my head as he led me into the hall. We stood in the doorway of the medical playroom, admiring the handiwork. “You think you want to come back here sometime?”
“Depends on what you have planned.” Now that we were done working for the day, all bets were off as far as teasing him. I pressed my body to his, sliding my hand down to cup the bulge in his jeans. “I might need athoroughexamination.”
There were other things I’d seen in porn that I was interested in trying, but those might make his straightish head explode. Things even Sam didn’t know I wanted to try because they werethatweirdly kinky.
“But if you’re an unruly patient, I might have to restrain you.” John wrapped his hands around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. “I’m thinking we need to go back to the first room from this morning. There’s a spanking bench in there that might need to be broken in.”
