“That’s not what I meant,” Bryce growled, turning his head to bite Eric’s neck. Suddenly, having a house full of our closest friends was a colossally bad idea. There wasn’t time to beg Bryce to take us to the bedroom which meant the three of us were going to be battling the sexual frustration all night. “Unless you’ve told someone, no one knows about the three of us. And being totally honest, not everyone’s going to be okay with it. Not even if we tell them we’re just fucking around.”
“What do you meanif? Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I asked, breaking away from the guys as much as I didn’t want to. Our guests would start arriving soon. Eventually, they’d figure out what was going on, but we didn’t need to give them a live display of what happened behind closed doors.
“Come on, Drew,” Bryce scoffed. “We can tell each other that it’s just sex, but when was the last time we did anything more than hand jobs or blow jobs?”
Good point. I shrugged, trying to figure out where he was going with this line of thought. I had a feeling I knew, but I wasn’t ready to admit it just yet, not even to myself. The three of us made sense, almost as much as it didn’t.
It shouldn’t be possible to need two people as much as I needed Bryce and Eric.
It shouldn’t be possible to long for their touch when I spent so much of my time pushing them away.
“Yeah, you can’t answer that because you aren’t comfortable with the answer,” Bryce chided.
I wanted to be pissed at him for thinking he knew me so well, but I couldn’t. Because he was right on point and that was just one more thing I wasn’t certain about. In the past, I’d been able to keep an emotional distance from most people. It was safer that way because it meant I wouldn’t have to face uncomfortable truths about myself.
No, I wasn’t ashamed about being gay, but the fact that I’d heard all the hateful slurs from coaches and other players my entire life was a harsh reality. They hadn’t directed them at anyone in particular, but they’d stung just the same.
“I’m not going to push you to call this anything more than what you’re comfortable with, but remember the one thing I asked of you the night I came over here for dinner and a movie.”
“What’s that?” Eric asked, having not been privy to that particular conversation.
“Honesty.” Bryce looked directly into my eyes as he spoke the word. Then, he looked at Eric as he continued to explain. “I promised Drew this could be whatever he wanted it to be, whether it was him with each of us on his own or as it turned out, the three of us together. The only request I made is that we’re all honest with one another about what we’re feeling. It’s the only way a relationship can work, especially when it’s more than two people.”
“You sound like you’ve done this before,” Eric pointed out. Now that he mentioned it, Bryce did seem to be in the driver’s seat most of the time. It was as though he had experience juggling more than one partner.
Bryce shook his head. “No, I’ve had friends in poly relationships, but always thought it would be too much of a hassle to be worth it,” he said bluntly.
I was curious if he felt that way about us, or if he would. We had the added complication of not all being in the same place most of the year. The fact that we’d come together at the beginning of the off season was serendipitous, but it also set us up for a major fall when it was time for Eric and I to head back to work, or when Bryce was sent back to Portland.
“And now?” Eric urged, stepping closer to me. Whether intended or not, I feared it would seem to Bryce that Eric was making a silent statement of his allegiance to me over Bryce.
Bryce stepped in, countering Eric’s action so subtly that I felt my cock thickening. I wasn’t even sure Bryce understood what it did to me when he took control the way he did, but he’d have to be a fool to not feel me pressing into his thigh.
“Now, I’m beginning to see how brilliant they were,” Bryce admitted. “Even though we’ve had more downs than ups so far, I think this has the potential to be something pretty damn awesome.”
Eric laughed, holding out one arm as he wrapped the other around me, pulling Bryce back into his embrace. It was a clear gesture that, to his mind, we weren’t three individuals, but rather a single, slightly dysfunctional unit.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” The three of us leapt apart at the sound of Cam’s voice from the back door. I turned to look at him, my face blanching as I realized we were well and truly busted. Leave it to Cam to make tonight be the first time he and Jason managed to show up on time. Rather than interrogate me, he turned his anger and confusion on his boyfriend. “Did you know about this? I mean seriously, how could you havenottold me that Drew was fuckingtwohot guys? Here I felt bad for not being here when you told me about him getting the shit kicked out of him, and he hadtwomen here catering to his every whim? What in the actual fuck, Jason?”
Jason stood there, mouth gaping as Cam beat against his chest. Finally, he had enough and wrapped his hands around Cam’s wrists, probably to stop him before Jason’s chest was bruised.
“I didn’t…” His gaze kept flicking between all of us as he tried to find something to say. “Well fuck, that explains a lot.”
He let go of Cam’s arms and walked past all of us on his way to the fridge. He cracked open the first bottle of beer and took a long draw. When he spun around to face us, his brow furrowed tightly. He pointed at me and shook his head. “Man, you don’t do anything half-ass, do you?”
I looked at Eric and then to Bryce. “Nope, apparently I don’t.”
I could practically feel Cam’s glare burning into the back of my head. At the current moment, Jason seemed to be the lesser of two evils. My shoulders stiffened when Eric moved directly behind me and Bryce took his place at my other side, putting up a united front.
“What business do any of you have getting serious about one person, let alone taking on two partners?” Jason asked accusingly. Although his thoughts weren’t that far off from what’d been running through my own mind most nights, it pissed me off to hear him questioning us. The relationship I wasn’t sure I wanted a short time ago wasnotsomething I was willing to discuss with him.
Luckily, Bryce took the lead as he typically did when we were together. He stepped between Jason and me, squaring his shoulders to make it clear that he was the one in control. “More business than you have jumping to conclusions. I love you like you were my own blood, but that doesn’t change the fact that you have no business judging what anyone else does in private.”
“I wasn’t judging,” Jason quickly explained. “I just don’t see this going anywhere good. You’re going to head back to Portland, Eric will be in Seattle, and both of them will be flying all over the country most of the year. It’s hard enough for us when it’s just me traveling, and I don’t want to see any of you get hurt.”
Cam slid in beside Jason, working his way against his chest. For the first time, I was able to look at them without the slightest hint of jealousy clouding what stood before me. The way Cam looked up at him as he ran his hand across Jason’s cheek was the way I used to wish he’d look at me. But no matter how I might try, I’d never be able to make his eyes shine the way Jason could.
As I felt the warmth of Eric’s arm across my back, I realized I didn’t need that anymore. I had everything I needed right here, if only I could be man enough to admit it was what I wanted.
