sure he’d always remind me what was about to happen. It was the start of our routine. “And I have a
new surprise waiting for you upstairs. I was going to show you tomorrow when you came over, but
tonight would be even better.”
I bounced in my seat, shoveling bits of fruit into my face without bothering to chew. Daddy
cleared his throat and I looked over, aware that I looked like a chipmunk with his cheeks filled with
nuts. And that made me laugh so hard I choked. Daddy was quick to grab a napkin and hold it up to my
mouth. It was disgusting, but when faced with spitting out my food or choking to a horrible death,
gross was way better than dead. He didn’t seem fazed as he wadded up the napkin and tossed it in the
garbage can.
“You need to slow down, baby. I know you love surprises, but that’s not worth hurting yourself.”
Daddy’s tone was lighter, and I felt able to take a deep breath. We were going to be okay. “Are you
ready to turn in for the night?”
“Yes, please.” Daddy quickly wiped my hands and turned out the kitchen lights after putting my
dishes into the dishwasher. I didn’t know what to think as I followed him up to the master bedroom.
My surprise couldn’t be a toy because he wouldn’t give me that at bedtime. It might be a new pair of
pajamas, but something about the quaver in his voice said it was bigger than a new outfit.
A binkie? Maybe. We’d talked about regressing further and it was something I wanted to try.
A bottle? I hadn’t flat out said it to him, but I’d thought about it a lot. I wanted to know how it felt
to curl up against Daddy’s side for a bedtime bottle.
I froze, unable to keep going when another possibility entered my mind. It was something we’d
talked about a lot. Something I wanted more than anything but didn’t think he’d want. But maybe that
was dumb when I remembered everything he’d done for me.
“Sammy, are you okay?” He brushed his thumb over my cheek. I was going to have to shave this
weekend. I didn’t need to as often as a lot of people. When I was Daddy’s boy, it didn’t feel like a
bad thing that I’d never turned into a grizzly bear with head to toe hair. Daddy seemed to like it when
I had as little hair on my body as possible. So far, that just meant having him help me shave my face
and my bottom area a couple times a week. I didn’t mind that because it was special time for the two
of us.
“I’m okay. I was trying to think about what my surprise might be, and my head got all spinny,” I
admitted. My cheeks felt hot. Daddy pressed his palm against my cheek as he kissed me. A lot of
