wanted to go back in time and not push Theron away. “And if therewassomeone, I’d probably push
him away because I can’t stop myself from seeing the worst-case scenarios in any situation.”
“Is there someone?” The lilt in William’s voice gave him away. He hadn’t overtly said anything to
me in the past couple of weeks, but I’d heard him casually drop Theron’s name when I was within
earshot, as if he was testing the waters.
“Maybe,” I hedged.
“But you’re scared,” William offered. The rhythmic back and forth motion of his thumb on my
biceps soothed me. I rested my head against his chest and closed my eyes. I nodded rather than
confirming verbally. “Is this about a certain Daddy who couldn’t keep his eyes off you opening
night?”
I nodded again, smiling because it felt good to hear that Theron’s attention wasn’t all in my head.
The brain was a complex, deceptive part of the body, and every time I thought back to how good he’d
made me feel, my brain jumped in with a host of reasons I was wrong.
“Theron won’t hurt you, Sam,” William promised.
“But what if he can’t deal with…” I waved a hand over my body. It shamed me to think I used to
be so confident about who I was. When I first came out, I sworeno onewould make me ashamed of
being the man I was. And I did well with that, right up to the first time I was challenged by someone I
thought loved me. That one incident had defined me.
“Not every man is so shallow that his feelings for you are dependent on the presence or size of
your penis.” William sounded like my parents. “Theronisn’t that type of man. When he has a boy in
his life, the only thing he will judge them on is how well they obey the rules. And from what I know
of you, I think that’s something you need, too.”
“Yes, Sir.” Both of us flinched when I called William,Sir. It was a shift in our relationship. I
hadn’t noticed it until now, but he was something special to me. He’d never be my Daddy, and we’d
never share anything sexual, but I felt protected by him. “Do you think you can help me talk to Daddy
Theron? I like him, but I don’t want to make a fool of myself. And I can’tnottell him if I want to even
see if there’s a spark between us.”
“Oh sweetie, the sparks are there just waiting to catch fire,” William responded.
As much as I wanted to believe him, that didn’t make sense to me. Theron hadn’t been an every-
night, or even ever-weekend customer, but he’d been there frequently enough that I recognized him.
