“Anything.”
“Have you ever thought about having kids?” she asked, the words so quiet I barely heard them over the rumble of the engine.
“All the time,” I admitted. “Granted, I think I’ve spent more time thinking about why I couldn’t have kids than why I wanted them, but I think everyone wants a family.”
She gnawed at the corner of her lip. One mile went by, then two without her saying anything more. “Why do you think you can’t have a family?”
“Well, first it was because I wanted to be home for my kids,” I told her. It sounded silly since there were plenty of players who started families while they were playing, but I didn’t want that for my own. I figured I’d play ball for a while, then move on and still have time to have it all.
“Then, Teresa and I started having more problems, and I knew I didn’t want to bring anyone into that chaos,” I continued. “And now…well, you’re a smart girl, I’m sure I don’t have to give you a basic biology lesson. I can’t say for sure that this thing between Sean and me will last forever, but as long as we’re together, it’s not like anything we do is going to lead to the next generation of ball players.”
“That’s not true,” she countered, eyes still on the road in front of her. “There are plenty of gay couples who have families. The question is whether or not you want that.”
“Abi, we’ve been dating, or whatever, for about two minutes, I think it’s premature to start planning that far into the future.” But dammit, now the thought was in my head. I didn’t even know how Sean felt, but he’d be an amazing dad. Yes, in an ideal world, I would love nothing more than to raise a family with him.
“Humor me. Let’s say, hypothetically, that you and Sean are still together down the road. Is that something you’d want?”
“If we got to that point and both of us were on the same page, then yes.” Traffic started to get heavier and I was given a reprieve from this little dream world Abi was trying to weave. That didn’t mean I stopped thinking about what it’d be like to have a family with Sean.
11
Sean
Other than twoquick phone calls, I hadn’t talked to Mason since the morning he left. I honestly thought that he’d go home for a day or two before coming back to my house, but he hadn’t.
After a final attempt to get ahold of him before our trip to Denver, I gave up. He’d told me it wasn’t goodbye, but it sure as hell seemed like it every time he didn’t answer my calls. As we waited to board the plane back to Milwaukee, I decided I’d try one last time to pin him down to talk before giving up for good.
I called Abi and asked her to pack what I would need for tonight and tomorrow and drop it off at my car before the plane landed. I didn’t want to waste a single minute I had to spend with Mason since we were on borrowed time as it was. Now that the doctors cleared him to play, it’d be nearly impossible for us to get any time to sit down and hash out whatever was going on between us.
Angel and I sat down together to run through tape of Nashville’s last few series. If I got lucky, I’d manage to convince Mason to sit down with me and possibly give me a fresh perspective. He thought that giving me space was what I needed to stay focused, but every day we spent apart proved how wrong he was. I needed him next to me, helping me find what I was missing. As corny as it sounded, Mason was my secret weapon.
The drive to Mason’s place was anything but relaxing. As I wove my way around slower traffic, the doubts started filling my mind. As many times as I warned myself that a relationship with Mason couldn’t last, it threw me that it ended so quickly.
The only conclusion I could draw was that he was trying to give both of us a bit of breathing room. Whatever it was that was growing between us had been moving at lightning speed and baseball gave him the excuse he needed to leave.
Hell, my attraction to him terrified me, and the only change I had to get used to was that I was in a relationship rather than having no-strings sex. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like for him to be in a new relationship, with a man, while working to get rid of the Ice Queen.
My body didn’t begin to relax until I paid the outrageous parking fee at a lot down the street from Mason’s building. As I walked down the empty sidewalk to the front of his building, I wondered if I was getting ready to make an ass out of myself.
I used the key Abi left in the center console of my car to let myself into the condo. I had expected to find him vegged out in front of the TV or reading a book, but the place was silent. I quietly walked back to the bedroom, hoping to catch him sleeping, but the bed was made and untouched. When I texted him, the notification sounded from in the kitchen.
“Mace, you out there?” I called as I walked back to the kitchen. My mind started racing with all sorts of screwed up scenarios. It wasn’t like him to go anywhere without his phone. “Dammit, Mason, where are you?”
Before I worked myself up to a full-blown panic attack, I heard the lock turning on the front door. This wasn’t the reunion I’d hoped for, but it didn’t matter as long as Mason understood that I wanted to be there for him, whether or not he’d admit to needing me.
As soon as I saw a perfectly manicured hand wrap around the edge of the door, I regretted driving back down without telling Mason. Three was most definitely a crowd, especially for the one person whose last name wasn’t Atley.
“Mason, it’s time for you to quit hiding so we can talk like two reasonable adults,” Teresa screeched as she let herself in. She saw me as she slammed the door and the disgusted look in her eyes was nearly feral. “I should have known thatyouwould be here. Is it safe to assume that you and my husband are playing house now that he’s dumped me like last week’s garbage?”
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you,” I spat as I watched her drag a suitcase through the condo and into the master bedroom. The bitch had clearly lost her damn mind. Unless… was she the reason Mason hadn’t been returning my calls?
Had he realized she would give him what I never could? That thought stung enough that I had to turn away in case my eyes started to gloss over.
“What’sthatsupposed to mean?” She sneered, perching herself on the edge of Mason’s favorite chair in the living room, her hands folded over her crossed knees. Before I could slink out the door, a little voice in my head reminded me that she’d blasted into the room demanding that Mason talk to her.
No way had Mason ignored me for her. I did, however, find it more than a bit ironic that we’d both showed up unannounced to try to mend our relationships with him.
I wanted to start hurling accusations at her, but it wasn’t my place. Not only that, but it could have screwed up whatever plan Mason and his lawyer were hatching to get her to slink away quietly.
