Okay, time to drink before you totally turn into a chick,I chided myself mentally. I quickly changed into a pair of form-fitting jeans and a tight green Henley.
Once back downstairs, I settled into a corner booth with a few of the married players. They’d occasionally give Jason and me a hard time for being the token bachelors allowed into their little club, but then I’d remind them that we were the old-timers and that usually shut them right up.
“Tucker, are you ever going to settle down? It’s gotta suck going home to that big, empty house when you get off the road,” Dobson asked as the waitress delivered a round of shots. She set one in front of each of us, offering me a flirtatious smile and a wink.Wrong tree, sweetheart.
“It’s not so bad,” I lied. The truth was, I hated going home for that exact reason. After the initial slap in the face provided by the dark, silent rooms, the quiet wasn’t so bad for a while.
I did enjoy being able to do what I wanted when I wanted without anyone telling me to do something else, but I’d have gladly given that up in order to have someone to curl up on the couch with to watch a movie, or even someone to cook a simple dinner with.
“No, but it’d be even better if you had something warmer than your hand to keep you company,” Jason chimed in. I wasn’t sure how he managed to get out of this ribbing since he also lived alone.
Then again, he had an industrial one-bedroom apartment, not a family home in suburbia. It was as though his home made it known that there was no room in his life for a woman.
“I happen to enjoy my hand. We get along, I rarely have to worry about my hand saying no, and I always have a backup,” I stated bluntly, wiggling the fingers on my left hand for effect. We all tipped back our shots and I winced at the burn of the cinnamon whisky on my throat. “Maybe someday I’ll change my mind, but for now my life works. Besides, while you all are worrying about what’s going on at home, I can keep putting every bit of energy into the game, which is why I’m better than you.”
The table erupted in a series of guffaws and playful jabs. It was almost enough to keep me from thinking about the tight knot in my gut, which was the real reason why I’d never considered a steady relationship.
Although it was far too early to even think about anything like falling in love with Mason, I could see it happening. That made it even harder to swallow the fact that less than twenty-four hours in, I was already denying him to my friends.
Over the past couple of seasons, I had thought about coming out. It wasn’t like I’d be the only professional athlete to do so, not with people like Jason Collins, Robbie Rogers and Michael Sam making very public proclamations. Heck, I wouldn’t even be the first major league baseball player to try sneaking out of the closet, but his experiences meant I had proof that baseball wasn’t the best place for a gay player.
Now, I wished for a different reality, one where I didn’t have to pretend there wasn’t someone waiting for me in a much more comfortable bed than the one I’d fall into later.
Another round of drinks appeared at the table, a gift from a group of fans across the room according to our waitress. This time, she leaned in close to me, rubbing her ample chest against my shoulder as she set down the glasses. I didn’t want to make the situation even more uncomfortable than it already was, but with every round she was becoming more brazen and the situation was about a round away from seriously awkward.
“I think she’s sweet on you,” Kevin observed as he leaned against the side of our booth. I rolled my eyes, already unimpressed by the way he seemed to invite himself into our tight-knit group. “You guys have room for one more?”
I wanted to tell him no, that the table was full and we even if there was a seat, it wouldn’t fit him and his inflated ego, but that’d make me look like the dick. Then I’d have to sit down with Stu and listen to a lecture about being a role model for the team when word got back to him.
If there was one thing I knew about our coach, it was that he didn’t put up with petty bullshit or hazing the new guys. And as one of his go-to players, Stu Ackerman was even harder on me. Whether I wanted the role or not, he made it no secret that he expected me to set a good example for the rest of the team.
“Yeah, sure,” I said, leaning forward for the pitcher of beer. I might not be able to tell him he couldn’t sit with us, but I’d be damned if I was giving up my seat for him.
It was common knowledge that I always sat at the edge because I couldn’t stand being crowded. Besides, we’d get more than enough time together after tomorrow when we became roommates.
“Seriously, are you gonna tap that tonight?” Kevin pressed as he helped himself to a glass of beer. The guy really needed to learn boundaries. He didn’t know me well enough to give me shit about my personal life.
“Nope,” I responded, my lips popping on the word in an attempt to get him to take the hint. Jason cocked one eyebrow, letting me know I was close to crossing the line. I shrugged, feeling just tipsy enough that I didn’t care.
I tried begging off, reminding the guys that I had an early morning and that none of us needed to close down the bar since it was an early afternoon game tomorrow. “Come on, Tucker, don’t be a punk,” Jason teased as he filled my glass.
I glared at him, pissed about being called out in front of everyone. The rest of the guys chimed in and before I knew it, our table was littered with empty shot glasses. Tomorrow was going to hurt. A lot.
6
Mason
“You’re openingup too much. You need to work on your balance, otherwise you’re not going to turn your year around,” my father criticized as Mom served up a late night meal of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I was going to be paying for this weekend’s shitty diet all through next week, but it’d be worth it. This meal was Mom’s way of trying to cheer me up after a bad game.
The team might have won, but I stunk like Limburger cheese. Not pretty. She’d made this meal after every bad game since I was eight, and probably would until I retired.
“I love you, Dad, but do you really think I need you to point out what I fu–screwed up tonight?” We might be in my home, but that didn’t mean I didn’t regret almost swearing in front of Mom. My parents may be chill about most things, but respect was one area where there was no leniency.
“Yes, son, I do,” he informed me. “You know I’m not trying to be over-bearing, but sometimes you get ahead of yourself and don’t see what you’re doing wrong. I know you have other things on your mind today, but that doesn’t mean you can afford to get sloppy.”
“Dad, today had nothing to do with anything other than me not sleeping well last night,” I told him.
Of course, it wasn’t looking like tonight was going to be any better. After one night sleeping with Sean’s back pressed against my chest, I wasn’t looking forward to sleeping alone. My irritation wasn’t fair to him since I understood why he was staying at the hotel, but there was that jealous spot in the back of my mind that wanted him to find a way to be here.
