“Okay, well let me know if that changes. Why don’t you go get the car and bring it up front?” I took the dismissal for what it was. My family had their quirks, and one of them had always been that Mom didn’t like us kids knowing how much money they spent on things, including mundane shit like groceries.
While I waited for her to finish checking out, I debated whether I should give Matt a heads up that I was coming over or if the ambush would be better.
Ambush. Definitely. That way, he wouldn’t have a chance to sneak out before I got there.
* * *
The scentof canned pasta lingered in the air when I let myself into Matt’s house. I closed the door as carefully as I could. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want him to know I was here just yet. The element of surprise felt imperative.
I buried my nose against my shoulder, trying to block out the offensive stench of pseudo meat and preservatives. I sidestepped around the squeaky floorboard that had gotten us in trouble more than once.
The main floor of the house was quiet enough I worried Matt may have gone out. I breathed out a sigh of relief when Matt cackled from the basement. My palms were sweaty as I sidestepped to the door and put my hand on the knob. I wasn’t sure how I would handle it if Matt admitted to avoiding me. No, that was a lie. I knewexactlyhow I’d react. I’d be devastated.
The laughter continued as I creeped down the wobbly wooden stairs. I hated that his mom still hadn’t gotten these fixed. The house was falling down around her, but she wouldn’t make any repairs that would take away from Matt’s college fund. It was both noble and stupid.
As soon as Matt came into view, I stopped and watched him play. He really was a little kid at heart. He was sitting on the floor between the couch and coffee table, building what appeared to be a huge Lego set while watchingDucktales. When one episode ended and the next began, he danced in his seat, belting out every lyric as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
“You’re going to rot your brain if you keep watching that crap,” I teased him when I started to feel like a peeping Tom.
Matt whipped around, knocking building blocks all over the floor as he fumbled for the remote. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I figured it would be harder for you to avoid me if I came to your house,” I admitted.
“I haven’t been—” I narrowed my eyes as I lowered myself next to him on the floor. His shoulders slumped forward. “I needed some time to sort out some shit in my head.”
It hurt that he’d been avoiding me instead of talking to me about whatever was bothering him. We’d been close forever, and I couldn’t think of a time when he hadn’t asked me to be his sounding board. But I had to trust he had a reason for keeping to himself this time.
“You can talk to me if you want. You know that, right?” I draped my arm over Matt’s shoulders and kissed the side of his head. He tensed. A pit formed in my stomach.
When I started to pull away, Matt leaned against my side. He turned, resting his hand on my thigh with his head on my chest. His fingers danced along the seam. “I want to believe that, but I don’t think I can this time.”
At first, I didn’t push him. I needed to feel like things between us were normal so badly, I was willing to watch Disney cartoons with him. This was familiar. It was something we’d done a million times before.
I could feel the tension radiating off of him. I rubbed his arm as another episode ended and the next began. I thought he’d eventually open up to me, but he didn’t. By the time I’d suffered through two full episodes ofDucktales, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“I mean it, Matty. There’s nothing you could say that would push me away,” I promised him.
“You don’t know that,” he whispered.
He was wrong. Being apart from Matt left a hollow space in my chest. I felt incomplete when he wasn’t around. I knew to the very core of my being that Matt would be a part of me until life inevitably ripped us apart. But I wasn’t going to think about that right now.
“Try me,” I challenged him. He seemed convinced I wouldn’t be able to deal with whatever had him pulling away. That meant he either had no faith in me or this was bad.
He sat up, flipping around until he was on his knees beside me. If my dick perked up when his tongue peeked out between his lips, it was only because of the unadulterated need in his eyes.
Oh shit.
“Promise you won’t hold it against me?” His hand shook as he reached out. Even through my jeans, I could feel the heat of his palm against my thigh. And yeah, my body was definitely reacting.
Double shit.
I held my breath as I nodded. I didn’t trust my voice to work, and I was scared shitless I was misreading this situation. Had I thought about what it would be like to be with Matt? Hell yes. He was sexy in a boy-next-door way. But he was Matty, my other half, the funny man to my straight guy. I’d always chalked those thoughts up to the fairytale of falling in love with someone who was your best friend. That was it.
But now… I couldn’t tell myself it was just a fantasy when he leaned in like that. I couldn’t pretend my dick wasn’t pressing against the backside of my zipper or that I wasn’t dying to know what he tasted like.
And yet, I gasped when he didn’t stop. My jaw went slack as his firm lips pressed against mine. I turned to the side, sliding my hand over his hip. I didn’t move, figuring it was best to let him take the lead now that he’d found the courage. Had I known he felt this way sooner, I would have acted on all the filthy thoughts I’d had about him over the years. I truly couldn’t count how many times I’d jerked off to images of his lips wrapped around my dick, only to feel guilty after the cum dried because it was wrong to think of him that way.
“Matty.” His name sound like a plea. I slid my hand higher on his back to keep him from retreating. “What are you doing?”
