That thought was like a bucket of ice water getting dumped over my head. I was sitting here obsessing over what people whodidn’t matterwould think if they knew Matt wanted things some people wouldn't consider normal, and yet I had already decided that being a Daddy was as much a part of me as being gay. When I reframed it that way, I felt pretty damn hypocritical.
“Maybe we can help each other,” I suggested. Jayden perked up a bit but looked confused. “You need someone to talk to about being a Daddy at all, and I need to figure out how to give my boy what he needs. The first time Matt called me Daddy, it didn’t matter if he was teasing. It was like the tumblers of a lock falling into place. It’s everything else that has me worried. The two of us working together sounds to me like a mutually beneficial arrangement.”
“This is love and sex, not a business contract,” Jayden scoffed. “But yeah, that sounds like a good plan. A hell of a lot easier to talk to you when I’m worried than calling my uncle. I’m telling you, that’s the weirdest part of it all. I don’t need him knowing about my sex life.”
He grabbed his backpack and opened the zipper. He dug around a bit, pulling out two bags of animal crackers and two juice boxes. He tossed me one of each. I stared down at them, confused about why he was giving me Chase’s snacks.
Oh yeah.
“So, are they supposed to come over here or what?” The boys were having a good time; I’d rather not upset them by insisting they take a break.
“Nah, they’re enjoying themselves. We’ll go over by them.” Jayden stood and jerked his head toward them. I followed.
“But what about Teo?” I didn't like the idea of our boys having treats when he didn't have anything.
“Don't worry about him. His Daddy will probably be back in a couple minutes. You know, we should think about getting to know some of the more experienced Daddies around here. We could probably both use a good mentor.”
That was something to consider down the road, but for now I preferred to keep things close to my chest. It was hard enough knowing Jayden was in on my relationship. For now, that was one person too many—two if you counted Chase.
Luckily, we’d be heading out tomorrow after classes. Who knew what would happen after spring break.
15
Matt
This isn’t how being back at school was supposed to go. I’d been in a shitty mood every day of spring break because it was the longest I could remember going without seeing Brandon. His family had a wedding out of town, so I’d only seen him once after he dropped me off and tucked me in when we got home after midnight. By the time he got back, I didn’t want him to get the cold I felt coming on, so I’d told him I was busy helping Mom.
But now, I just wanted him to get home from classes. I had no clue what was going on, but this wasn’t just a simple cold. I was pretty sure I was dying.
Everything hurt. I wasn’t sure how, but even my hair follicles were screaming in pain. There was no way I could have made it to my classes today.
“Matty, come on. It’s time to wake up,” Brandon whispered. He hissed when he smoothed a hand over my sweaty forehead. I couldn’t figure out why I was sweaty when I was so cold. “Shit. You’re burning up. I’m going to get the thermometer.”
We have a thermometer?
Before I could verbalize my confusion, Bran pressed something to my forehead. “I’m going to get you something to drink. Do you want some toast?”
“Throat hurts,” I croaked out. Even the thought of trying to swallow anything had me ready to cry.
“Shit. We probably need to get you to campus health.” I heard him moving around the room, but I didn’t bother looking to see what he was doing. The light hurt my eyes. “Did this just start?”
I sucked on my bottom lip. He was going to be mad when he found out. In my defense, I really thought it was just a cold and I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.
“Matty, how long have you been sick?” he pressed when I didn’t answer right away.
“A few days before we came back,” I croaked out. “Thought I’d be okay.”
“Jesus. You’re so damn stubborn sometimes.” He shook his head and sighed. “I’ll be right back.”
“Can I have the sippy straw cup?” I knew he hated my dino cup, but I loved it. It was a gift from Chase when we came back from spring break and it was my favorite cup ever. If Brandon would let me, I’d use it all the time, but he still thought it was strange that I wanted to be little. Before I felt like I was dying, I was careful to only use it when he wasn’t in the room.
“Yeah, buddy. Where is it?”
I wanted to think he was so agreeable because he knew I needed it, but it was probably just him not wanting to upset me. “In my dresser. Top drawer.”
I whimpered, unable to hide my discomfort. Bran stroked my hair, whispering for me to stay quiet. I was too sleepy to think up a sarcastic remark. I curled the blankie tight over my head and prayed he hurried.
I wasn’t sure how long he was gone, but I woke up to him making me sit up. “Shhh, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”
