“And have you thought about what I said?” The man had missed his calling. The deep rumble and lack of inflection in his tone would make him a teacher that students feared but respected.
“I have,” I confirmed. “I can’t make any promises, but I’d like to know more. And that’s part of why I haven’t been around. It’s unfair to get hopes up, for either of us, but without proceeding I’ll never have an answer.”
“This isn’t a business negotiation, Theron.” William sighed heavily. “But you have a good point. Are you doing anything right now?”
“Now?” My voice cracked. Was I ready to jump into the deep end right this minute?
No time like the present.
“Well, not this very minute, but in the next hour or two,” William clarified. “Fair warning though, if you want to sit down and talk to Sam, I will be there. He has some very valid concerns and I’ve told him I will act as his protector with any man he’s interested in until such a time everyone agrees it’s no longer warranted.”
That…helped. For some, it might have been disconcerting to have someone acting as a shield but with so much uncertainty, I was grateful William had given him protection. If I knew my friend, that also meant he would see to Sam’s needs until he found a Daddy worthy of him. That, too, was comforting.
“I’m assuming we’d be talking at the club?” I was already out of my chair and on my way to the bedroom. Icouldgo to the club in my slacks and button-down, but I didn’t want anything so stuffy tonight. I wanted Sam to see me as friendly and approachable. I opted for a pair of distressed jeans, a dark purple shirt, and my boots, because I also didn’t want to betoocasual.
William confirmed that we’d be talking on relatively neutral ground, and I told him I’d be there as soon as I could. For better or worse, I couldn’t go to sleep another night without knowing what secret William worried would push me away from the boy I wanted.
The front door of The Lodge opened as I approached. I held my breath until I saw William holding it open for me. “I didn’t realize you offered this level of service.”
“Yeah, well, you got lucky,” William quipped. “Sam’s trying to get an assignment for school done, so I told him I’d deal with opening the club tonight.”
“You sure you’re up for this?” William asked as he ushered me to one of the lounge areas.
“Nope.” At this point, honesty seemed to be the best policy. The only thing Iwassure of was I needed to find out what I was supposed to be scared of, so I could decide if it was something I could face. “But sometimes you have to be willing to take a chance. I’d like to think I’m man enough that nothing could hold me back. If anything, my greatest fear is that learning more about Sam will reveal failings in my own character.”
“If I didn’t have faith you’d do the right thing, I would have told you to walk away without suggesting you consider how serious you are about him.” The hinges on a door somewhere in the darkness creaked. William gripped my shoulder. “You’re a good man, Theron. I think you could be exactly what Sam needs. All I’m asking is that you hear him out and be honest with yourself and with him.”
“That I can do,” I promised him. Another door opened and Sam appeared. I stood, hooking my thumbs in the front pockets of my jeans to keep from reaching out as he approached. Not wanting to seem standoffish, I reached out a hand. “It’s good to see you again, Sam.”
I mentally kicked myself as Sam shook my hand. “Thank you for coming down. I know this is probably a bit unconventional to you.”
“Not at all,” I reassured him. There was nothing normal about Dom/sub relationships, and I’d be willing to bet Sam didn’t realize how common it was for things to feel more like a business meeting than a date at first. I nearly told him I was proud of him for being willing to talk to me, but worried that would come across as condescending. “Thankyoufor being willing to talk to me.”
“God, watching the two of you is painful as fuck,” William complained. “Sit. Both of you.”
I glared at William, not thrilled about being ordered around like I was his sub. But I sat because, if I wanted any chance with Sam, I needed to respect William’s position in his life—no matter how temporary his protection might be.
The three of us stared at each other, no one knowing how to begin this conversation. I was pleasantly surprised when it was Sam who spoke first. “Maybe it’s too soon to say anything, but I like you, Theron.”
“I like you, too,” I responded, fully aware both of us sounded like elementary school students.
“Please, let me get this out. I’ve been sitting in the office thinking about what I should say to you since William told me you were coming down here tonight, and I want to put my cards on the table so maybe you’ll understand a little more about why I don’t trust easily,” Sam explained. I sat back in my chair, crossing one leg over the other. If I’d thought ahead, I would have asked William for a drink before we got started. Damn me and my principles for saying I needed to be sober for this.
“Take all the time you need,” I assured him at the same time William said, “There’s no rush.”
The two of us shared a glance and a nod.
My heart broke as I listened to Sam share a bit about his past. My blood boiled when he told me about a man that he’d been casually dating tearing him down. And still, I wasn’t ready for the bomb he dropped.
Sam sat up straighter, squaring his shoulders. His gaze seared through me as he said, “I’m trans. I know a lot of people don’t get it, but it’s who I am. I am agaytrans man. I like the way you make me feel, but if you can’t deal with the fact I still have some anatomy associated with women and still respect me as the man I am today, I’d rather know now than get my hopes up.”
My heart broke for Sam. I wanted nothing more than to pull him into my arms and kiss him while I promised him everything would be okay. But I couldn’t. Not yet. First, he had to trust me, and the way his body quaked with fear told me we weren’t there yet.
I steepled my fingers against my chin, hunching my shoulders forward to make myself appear small. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths before opening them to look directly at Sam. The goal here was to hide my rage over whoever hurt him in the past. “What would you say if I told you I’d been in a horrible work accident and I’d lost my dick?”
That got exactly the reaction I’d been hoping for. Sam gaped at me before bursting out laughing. “I’d ask what you did for a living.”
“I’m a high school principal,” I informed him. He’d missed the point, but the tension had been cut. “Would you think me less of a man if I didn’t have my penis because of a work accident?”
