Daddy was already at the edge of the garage waiting for me when I parked on the wide slab at the top of the driveway. He opened my door as soon as I turned off the engine. “Are you ready to go in and get some sleep?”
“I don’t usually go to bed right after I get done with work,” I told him. It was another reason I hadn’t wanted to come over here on work nights. He woke up early every day, and I didn’t want my crazy schedule screwing with his.
“We’ll have to see if we can find a way to help you unwind then.” He hefted my backpack over his shoulder and slid his hand into mine. “Did you have dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, but that was hours ago.” After my screw up, I wasn’t going to give Daddy anything less than the complete truth. Without asking if I was hungry, he led me to the kitchen and pulled out a stool at the island. My stool, because it was where I sat whenever he was making dinner. He filled a sippy with water and handed it to me. I scrunched up my nose. “Juice would be better.”
“That might be, but water is healthier. You don’t need to load up on sugar when you’re supposed to be going to bed soon.” He grabbed a handful of nuggets out of the freezer, then cut up a few strawberries and a banana while the chicken heated in the microwave.
I loved the way my mind settled from just watching him put together a late-night snack for me. But I couldn’t fully relax because Daddy was still upset. I knew he was, even if he wasn’t saying anything. “Are you going to yell at me for lying to you?”
“Would it make you feel better if I did?” Instead of answering immediately, I took a few seconds to think about his question. I wasn’t sure if it would make me feel better or worse. I just wanted whatever was coming to happen so we could move on. Until I knew I hadn’t ruined a good thing, I’d be constantly waiting for something to happen. Daddy set down a plate in front of me and took the stool next to mine. “It’ll take me time to process how I feel about what happened tonight. It was unexpected and I don’t do well with that. I like to think I’m observant, and I missed the signs.”
“Because I didn’t want you to see them.” Daddy didn’t like it when I interrupted him, but he had to know this was my fault, not his. Deep down, I knew he wouldn’t be agreeable to me sleeping at the bar, but I didn’t want him to see me as incapable or needing rescuing. I needed to know that he wanted me because of attraction, not a sense of needing to save me. “Maybe that was wrong of me, but I’ve worked really, really hard to prove I could make it on my own. Admitting that I’ll do just about anything to stay away from my apartment until I can get out of my lease is something almost no one knows. The guys at work know because it’s kinda hard to hide from them, but no one else. Not even my parents.Especiallynot my parents.”
“I get that, baby.” Theron picked up a chicken nugget and held it in front of my mouth. I took a bite and he smiled. After he popped the rest of the nugget into my mouth, he started rubbing my back. “But you have to remember that I’m not anyone. I’m Daddy, and it’s my job to take care of you. Not because you can’t do it on your own, but because we both get something out of it.”
It was impossible to swallow my food with the huge lump in my throat. Tears pooled along my bottom lashes. I felt horrible. Daddy had never done anything to make me feel like an imposition or a squatter in his space. The exact opposite was true. Every time I turned around, he was rearranging his life to make room for me. He trusted me enough to have the code to get into his house when he wasn’t here, and I repaid him by hiding.
“You might have to remind me a little bit sometimes. I’ve never been good about accepting help from others,” I admitted. Daddy fed me another bite of nugget and I pulled the little bowl of fruit in front of me. “It’s like I got so much help from my family when I was a teen, and then I saw how many other guys like me didn’t have the same support so I thought I needed to be extra independent to make up for it.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Theron slid off his stool, turned mine so I faced him, and stepped between my legs. “I understand why you did it, but I promise no one is keeping tally of what different people are doing. Let me help you from now on?”
“I will,” I promised. I let out a huge yawn. It felt like now that we were clearing the air, my brain was able to process how tired I was. “I think I’m finished. Can we go to bed now?”
“You need to finish your fruit, and then I’ll get you cleaned up and you can use the potty before I put you in your jammies,” he told me. No matter how many times I spent the night here, I was pretty sure he’d always remind me what was about to happen. It was the start of our routine. “And I have a new surprise waiting for you upstairs. I was going to show you tomorrow when you came over, but tonight would be even better.”
I bounced in my seat, shoveling bits of fruit into my face without bothering to chew. Daddy cleared his throat and I looked over, aware that I looked like a chipmunk with his cheeks filled with nuts. And that made me laugh so hard I choked. Daddy was quick to grab a napkin and hold it up to my mouth. It was disgusting, but when faced with spitting out my food or choking to a horrible death, gross was way better than dead. He didn’t seem fazed as he wadded up the napkin and tossed it in the garbage can.
“You need to slow down, baby. I know you love surprises, but that’s not worth hurting yourself.” Daddy’s tone was lighter, and I felt able to take a deep breath. We were going to be okay. “Are you ready to turn in for the night?”
“Yes, please.” Daddy quickly wiped my hands and turned out the kitchen lights after putting my dishes into the dishwasher. I didn’t know what to think as I followed him up to the master bedroom. My surprise couldn’t be a toy because he wouldn’t give me that at bedtime. It might be a new pair of pajamas, but something about the quaver in his voice said it was bigger than a new outfit.
A binkie? Maybe. We’d talked about regressing further and it was something I wanted to try.
A bottle? I hadn’t flat out said it to him, but I’d thought about it a lot. I wanted to know how it felt to curl up against Daddy’s side for a bedtime bottle.
I froze, unable to keep going when another possibility entered my mind. It was something we’d talked about a lot. Something I wanted more than anything but didn’t think he’d want. But maybe that was dumb when I remembered everything he’d done for me.
“Sammy, are you okay?” He brushed his thumb over my cheek. I was going to have to shave this weekend. I didn’t need to as often as a lot of people. When I was Daddy’s boy, it didn’t feel like a bad thing that I’d never turned into a grizzly bear with head to toe hair. Daddy seemed to like it when I had as little hair on my body as possible. So far, that just meant having him help me shave my face and my bottom area a couple times a week. I didn’t mind that because it was special time for the two of us.
“I’m okay. I was trying to think about what my surprise might be, and my head got all spinny,” I admitted. My cheeks felt hot. Daddy pressed his palm against my cheek as he kissed me. A lot of times I wished we had more grown-up kisses but there was something magical about the tender little pecks he gave me as often as possible.
“Do you want to tell me what you were thinking about?” Daddy teased. His hand slid down my chest as he backed me toward the bedroom. I whined when he stopped before rubbing my needy bits. “Your pupils are blown, Sammy. That makes me think you were thinking something naughty. Or that it’s something you’re scared of.”
Could it be both? If he got me what I thought it might be, it would be crazy sexy, but it also made me nervous.
My eyes darted to the vanity as soon as he turned on the bathroom light. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a fuzzy white pair of footies. “Are those the unicorn jammies?”
I pulled my hand free and rushed across the room, squealing when I lifted the new pajamas and saw that theywerethe jammies with the unicorn hood. I wanted to put them on, but Daddy was like a space heater and I always wound up kicking off the blankets in the middle of the night. Those would be fun to wear when I was playing on the living room floor, but not so much for sleeping.
“Do you like them?” That was a silly question. I’d almost dropped my laptop when I found them on a site that I’d previously only been able to go to looking for stuff for the club, but now Daddy wanted me to make a wish list. “Those are for tomorrow morning. You won’t get any sleep if you’re hot and uncomfortable tonight.”
“So, what’s for—” That’s when I saw the other surprise on the counter. I picked it up with all the care one might give a live bomb. “You want this too, right, Daddy?”
“I swore to you the first night we spent together that I would be honest if there was something I wasn’t interested in trying with you,” he reminded me. “I think you’re going to be absolutely adorable in them.”
“Do I have to use it?” I’d been looking at a lot of pictures and videos with boys who did use their diapers, but I wasn’t sure yet how I felt about it. “I mean, it’s probably silly to spend the money on them if I don’t, but isn’t that sort of gross?”
