“That’s why I’m going to cut it up for you. It’ll be in the perfect sized bites for a hungry boy.” He blushed when his tummy rumbled. It was always strange to watch a boy sink into little space. It was like rolling back the hands of time. While it would never be the life for me, I envied littles and their ability to depart from the adult world for a time. I opened the drawer between us, wrapping my hands around my next surprise. “And you might get messy, so I bought you this.”
His eyes went wide when I held up an oversized bib. It would still be too small for him, but that was okay because it meant more mess I’d get to clean up later. Sammy clutched it in his hand against his chest. “This is so cool. I’ve never had one with unicorns on it. How did you know they’re my favorite?”
“A little birdie might have told me.” I winked at him before patting his backside. “Now scoot. Dinner will be done soon, and you don’t have the table set. Bring back your cup and I’ll get you some milk.”
Soon, he was going to have to use the bathroom. I was counting on it, because I wanted to see what he’d do when I offered to help him.
“Daddy, there’s only one placemat here.” A shiver rushed through me the same as it did every time I heard him call me Daddy. I wasn’t going to force the issue because I wanted it to come naturally, but Ididhope we’d get to the point where I was Daddy more often than I was Theron to him.
“That’s because you have a special plate for messy meals.” My sister-in-law swore by these contraptions she’d found that were an odd cross between plate and bowl with the placemat attached. It was made out of silicone, and she swore even the crabbiest kid couldn’t slide it off the table and onto the floor. I wasn’t worried about that with Sammy, but it would make clean up easier.
After draining the pasta, I dished some onto his plate and the rest into a pasta bowl for myself. Both got a big scoop of sauce and then I cut his up, just like I’d promised to do. While the food cooled, I filled his sippy and took it over to the table. Sammy immediately complied when I nodded toward his chair, climbing up the same way my nephews did. He flipped around, placing his hands on the table in front of him.
“You’re being very good for Daddy,” I praised him as I grabbed the bib. He sat up straighter when I wrapped the bib around his neck. “After dinner, it’s going to be bath time, unless you have more work to get done.”
“No, Daddy. I think I got enough done already. After bath can I have my new jammies? I think I want the dino ones first. They’re softest.” I knew better than to read too much into his lack of enthusiasm about the pajamas.
He’d been upset that they didn’t have any unicorn jammies made for boys, but when I’d suggested we look in the girl’s section for something he wanted more, he’d gotten seriously grumpy. It had taken me a minute to figure out what had set him off because, to me, he was Sam. I didn’t see someone who was born in a female body at all. He was a precious little boy and I never wanted him to feel bad about anything he liked because inanimate objects weren’t gendered, it was society that placed labels on them.
“I agree. They’re going to feel extra silky on your skin after we give you a bath and I put some lotion on you.” He stilled, cocking his head to the side as he looked up at me. “Yes, baby, I bought new lotion, too. It’s still cold and dry outside, and I don’t want you to get itchy.”
I quickly grabbed our dinner and placed his in front of him. He poked at the silicone, giggling when, no matter how he pushed at it, it wouldn’t move. The fork only lasted a few bites before he got frustrated and slammed it down on the table. I ignored him, watching out of the corner of my eye as he picked up the spoon. He wasn’t doing much better with that, and he wound up half using the spoon and half pushing the food into his mouth, not stopping long enough to realize how childlike he was.
“This is sooooo good,” he mumbled around a mouthful of noodles.
“Do good boys talk with full mouths?” I scolded him.
Sammy swallowed hard. “Sorry, Daddy. I kept thinking it but didn’t want to forget to say it, but then I kept eating.”
I reached over and scruffed his hair. “It’s okay. I know you’ll try to do better next time.”
The sun was still just above the horizon by the time we finished eating. Too early for a grown man’s bedtime, but perfect for my boy. Besides, bath time, story time, and snuggles would certainly take a while. I wasn’t going to rush anything with him.
I got up from the table long enough to clear our plates and grab a washcloth. As I’d anticipated, Sammy was a disaster. Somehow, he’d even managed to get sauce behind his ear. When I wiped it away, he giggled and ducked away from me. “Daddy, that tickles!”
“Oh, is my baby boy ticklish?” I set down the rag and started tickling his belly and sides. His protests didn’t hold much weight through his laughter. “Yeah, I’m going to have to remember this in case you try sleeping in when you’re supposed to be awake.”
“I won’t, I promise,” he squealed. Hearing his voice echo off the high ceilings sent warmth through my body. I’d often felt like there was something missing to make this house a home, and now I knew that his absence is what I’d felt. He hopped off his chair and slipped his hand into mine. “Can we go do bath time now? I want to play with my squirty fish!”
He tugged the through the house, coming to an abrupt stop at the bottom of the stairs. When he turned around, his smile had fallen into a frown. “What’s wrong, Sammy?”
“I don’t know where I’m going. I forgot I’ve never been here before.” He seemed embarrassed by that admission, but I loved it. He’d proven that, even though this was his first time in my house, he felt comfortable with me. That was a better outcome than I could have imagined when I’d invited him over here.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. Eventually, you’re going to know every inch of this house and I’ll be hollering at you to quit running,” I teased. When Sammy was excited, it was impossible to slow him down. There was no doubt in my mind, I’d eventually be able to scold him for rushing. “We’re going up to my room. The master bath has a huge tub I think you’re going to love.”
It was another of those little details I hadn’t fully paid attention to when I’d originally built the house. I was busy trying to settle into my new job, so I’d deferred on a lot of the decision making. Now, I wondered how much my sister-in-law knew about my lifestyle because there were all these little accents that seemed too perfect to be coincidence.
I flipped on the ambient lighting, skipping the bright overhead lights. Sammy gaped at the freestanding tub nestled under a huge window. I followed as he stepped closer, leaning around him to start warming the water. “It’s like a swimming pool!”
It wasn’tthatbig, but it definitely put standard tubs to shame. I’d never completely filled it because that seemed like a waste of water. The upside was I could put enough water in that he’d be able to dunk himself and still have room for lots of bubbles. He clapped his hands when I poured the bubble soap into the water. “Come on, silly boy, let’s get you undressed. Do you have to go potty before you get in the tub?”
As if he’d just realized his bladder was full, he crossed his legs and started wiggling around. I took his hand and led him to the toilet.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I crouched down to take off his pants and undies. Immediately, he covered himself.
Oh. Right.
We’d been having such a good time, I hadn’t given our differences a second thought. Now, I had to reassure him I wasn’t turned off by them. I placed my hands on his shoulders after tossing his pants toward the hamper.
