Jay rushed to my side, wrapping an arm around my waist as he combed his fingers through my hair. “Talk to me, baby. Why are you sad?”
He motioned for me to sit on the edge of the bed. He didn’t pressure me to answer him as he crouched to untie my shoes. He was patient as he slipped off my socks. Didn’t force me to talk as he turned down the comforter on his bed. It wasn’t until I was laying in the center of the bed that he grew impatient. Even then, he smoothed his thumb over the creases in my forehead and kissed the tip of my nose. “Talk to me, buddy. I can’t make things better if I don’t know what’s got you upset.”
My face flushed bright red. I wiggled around a bit before burying my face against Jay’s chest when he laid down next to me. “Do you want me?”
I stuck out my bottom lip when Jay laughed at the question. I didn’t think it was very funny at all. Jay pushed me upright, easily moving my body so that I was laying on top of him. His hands slid down to cup my ass. “Baby, that might be the silliest question you’ve asked yet. Of course, I want you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to come home with me.”
“But we don’t dostuff. I mean, you’ve played with me a bit and taught me how to give you blowjobs, but other than that we don’t do things boyfriends are supposed to do.” My voice broke near the end of my explanation. Jay bucked off the bed, grinding his hard penis against mine. I moaned. He wasn’t close enough. There were too many layers of clothes between us.
“Chase, I want you to look at me as I say this,” Jay insisted. It was hard, but I obeyed, blinking rapidly. When my gaze drifted to a point behind his head, Jay cleared his throat and I snapped back to attention. “You’re special to me. You talk about the things I’ve taught you, but you’re teaching me, too. You’ve opened my eyes to a world I never knew I wanted to be a part of. You’re not an experiment to me or a meaningless hole to fuck. You’re my world. Having penetrative sex isn’t going to make you any more mine than you already are, because that’s not possible. You’re my everything already.”
I didn’t bother hiding how deeply his words hit me. Tears formed, trailing down my cheeks. Jay reached up to brush them away. The ache in my heart, caused by all the things I’d convinced myself only I felt, eased a bit. Just like always, Daddy knew how to soothe me. “I love you, Jay. I hope that doesn’t scare you, but I do. And before you say it, I know I’m inexperienced but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what this feeling is.”
“I would never diminish your feelings that way, sweetheart.” He held my face in his hand and I leaned into the touch. His eyes were glassy as he looked up at me. “I love you, too. I love Chase and Ash, and everything in between. That’s why I wasn’t willing to rush us having sex. I didn’t want it to be something quick and dirty. I want to take my time showing you how much I cherish you. We’ll get there, I promise.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” I said softly as I rested my head on his chest again. I stifled a yawn, but he noticed. He always knew when I was getting tired. “I think I do need my nap. Will you stay with me a while?”
“Absolutely.” Despite saying he would stay, Daddy got out of the bed. He chuckled when I reached for him. “Hang on, buddy. I’m getting your backpack. I’ll be right back.”
He was almost to the door when I called out his name. He turned back to me and smiled. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you, too, buddy.” He blew me a kiss before disappearing around the corner. I was out before he came back. Feelings made me a sleepy boy.
14
Jayden
“Couldyou have been any more obvious?” I grumbled as Mom and I carried potted plants from the back of the house to the front. She pretended she hadn’t heard me as she moved them around to make sure the layout was just right. “Mom, look at me.”
She spun around, resting her hands on her hips. “I heard you the first time, Jayden. And if you don’t keep your voice down, that boy of yours is going to hear you cussing me out.”
“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have been so in his face about the fact you know how he is,” I pointed out. Chase was trying to hold it together, but I could see him cracking. He’d carried around this secret about himself, and suddenly it felt like everyone knew. I doubted he even thought about how accepting everyone was.
It had shocked me when Mom first held up the binkie when I’d brought his sheets home, but only because I hadn’t considered him being a little. Once I knew, it seemed like the most natural thing ever. And any reservations had been on my side, because there had never been a time when I’d let myself think about anyone other than me being the one to take care of him. Every time I tried, I felt like something was clawing at me from the inside, trying to get out and claim him for itself.
I loved him. Those weren’t words I said to ease his mind after he blurted it out to me, I meant them. There were going to be hurdles to overcome, like spending spring break apart when he went home to see his family, but we’d figure that out when the time came.
“I was only trying to make him feel more comfortable,” she protested. Her shoulders slumped and she curled in on herself. I couldn’t help but hug her.
I should have been happy as hell to have a mom who rolled with the punches the way she did. I was so hellbent on making sure Chase was happy, that Imighthave been a dick to her for making him uncomfortable. Shewastrying, and both of us had the same goal. Both of us wanted Chase to understand home was a safe space where he could be as big or as little as he needed.
“I know, and I’m sorry for snapping on you,” I apologized. She gaped at me like it was unheard of for me to backtrack. It was her fault I was so stubborn. Genetics and all that jazz. I wasn’t a fan of gossip, but it didn’t feel like a violation of Chase’s privacy to make Mom understand why I was so protective of him. Hell, even I didn’t know the full story of what had happened with his former roommate, but knowing he’d lost not only his place to live but also someone he considered a good friend infuriated me. “He’s scared about what people will think with good reason. His old roommate found him with his stuff and went to housing about it. Filed a complaint and got him kicked out.”
“And that’s why he’s in your room?” she asked, already back to repositioning the pots in the front yard.
“Yeah. And the weekend you found his…” I couldn’t say the word out loud to her. That was a step too far. If anyone was going to acknowledge his little stuff, it would be Chase, on his terms. “Anyway, when I went home afterthat weekend, he freaked out a little bit. I got him calmed down and started helping him in little ways.”
“It sounds like the two of you were meant to be together. I’m sorry he went through what he did, but I’m glad it led the two of you together.” She stepped back, comparing the plants in the yard against a list in her hand.
And that was the end of it. She didn’t push me for more details about our relationship and I didn’t offer anything more. We worked for about an hour when my sleepy boy appeared at the front door. He was still out of it, which was pretty damned obvious because he was clutching his blankie in his hand and sucking on his binkie. I was torn between wanting to rush him back into the house, because he’d be horrified when he fully woke up and realized he’d come outside in full Ash-mode, and wanting to pull out my phone to take a picture of him leaning against the door frame.
In the end, I did both. I snapped a picture after setting down my shovel, brushed off my hands as I climbed the front steps, and guided him upstairs to my bedroom.
“Does my buddy feel better now?” I asked, tucking him against my side. He nodded. “Do you want to rest a bit longer or come outside? Mom and I are just about finished, and then we’ll have the house to ourselves.”
“For how long?” Ash smiled around the edges of his binkie. There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, and I was pretty sure he’d figured out the significance. “We have the whole house?”
“Yeah, baby. We’ll have the house all night. Mom’s going out with some girlfriends.” When I’d mentioned that it was impossible to get any truly private time with Chase, Mom had been quick to set up a girls’ night out with her friends. Apparently, she and William were busy telling each other how to live their lives, and he’d been hounding her about getting out more. I still owed him a thank you for that. “I thought we could have dinner and then a nice, long bath.”
