He stopped me at the top of the stairs, placing a hand over my racing chest. I closed my eyes as Gabe leaned in to kiss me tenderly. “Relax. If you go down there acting like you’ve done something wrong, she’s going to latch onto that.”
“But in her eyes, we are,” I pointed out.
“No, we aren’t,” he insisted. “We’re two men who fell in love. Our circumstances are unique, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be together. And I’ll fight anyone who says different.”
Yeah, he totally would. I didn’t give in to the temptation to hold Gabe’s hand as we walked to what I could only hope wasn’t our demise.
Both sets of parents sat around the kitchen table when we walked in. Ignoring the elephant in the room, I avoided making eye contact with anyone while I poured coffee for Gabe and me. I wasn’t nearly the addict he was, but this seemed to be one of those conversations better had with caffeine in the system.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mom and Dad have a conversation of their own with nothing more than glares and jerks of their heads. When Mom moved to stand, Dad grabbed her forearm and told her to sit down. Knowing he knew the truth didn’t help as much as I thought it would. All I could consider was that three-fourths of the adults knew, leaving one well-meaning mother out of the loop. It was a type of betrayal I wasn’t prepared for.
Gabe pulled two bar stools to the end of the island closest to the table so we weren’t hovering over the parents. He cradled the steaming mug in his hands, muttering something about gifts from the gods. I shook my head at his theatrics. Yeah, the drama department was going to be a good fit for him.
The tension was so thick in the air it was hard to breathe. Or maybe that was my paranoia closing my throat. It was up to me to start talking.
“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry I worried you last night,” I began, hoping the apology counted for something.
Dad’s eyes shifted between Gabe and me, a silent reminder that he knew and didn’t hate us for what we felt. “Your mother was worried because it was apparent you’d been to the house, but there was no sign of you when we got home and you didn’t answer your phone.”
Come to think of it, I wasn’t sure where my phone was. It was on silent, so I wouldn’t have heard it anyway. Last night, I hadn’t been in the mood to talk to anyone. Today, it was bugging me that I couldn’t remember where I’d left it.
“I really didn’t mean to make you worry,” I reiterated, looking directly at my mom. “I’d texted Dad about coming home this weekend, but he hadn’t responded. When I got home, the house was empty. Like really empty. So, I came over here instead.”
Here I was, still skating around the truth. Wasn’t I the model child? Gabe stretched and rested his arms across the counter, his thumb rubbing the center of my back. Although we were right in front of everyone, no one could see that simple, vital point of contact.
“Where’s the Jeep? I suppose it makes sense that you didn’t want to stay at the house alone, but your Jeep is gone.”
Dang. Total backfire. “I parked it in Gwen and Joel’s garage.”
“Why?” she demanded, leaning forward to glare at me. “You better start talking, Trevor James Bruce. I know there’s something you’re not telling me and I’m tired of it. I can’t go on trying to figure out where I failed so miserably as a parent that my own son can’t be honest with me.”
“DeeDee, calm down.”Wrong answer, Pops. I shook my head because even I was smarter than to tell her she was being irrational, which is basically what he’d just done in not so many words.
“Do not tell me to calm down,” she spat back. “Honestly, have I given you any reason to think you couldn’t talk to me when you’re having problems? What’s going on? Did you meet a girl and she’s pregnant?”
Everyone in the room seemed to choke at her accusation. This wasn’t good at all. She glared at everyone and pushed back from the table.
“Someone had better start talking. Now. I want to know why I’m such a horrible person that I’m apparently the only one being kept in the dark.”
“Dee, sit down,” Gwen demanded. She turned to face her stepsister, ignoring everyone else in the room. I was impressed by how gentle she kept her tone because from where I was sitting, I could see the way her manicured nails dug into Joel’s thigh. “You’re a wonderful mother. You haven’t failed Trevor. But have you considered that reacting the way you are, when you don’t even know the situation, might be part of why he didn’t talk to you sooner?”
“Well, if he talked to me, maybe I wouldn’t overreact!” she shrieked. Yeah, this was going even worse than I’d expected. She turned to glare at me. Not once in my life had I felt such contempt radiating out of my mother’s eyes. “I’ve worried about you for a few years now. Do you think I’m stupid? You think I don’t feel you slipping away from me?”
“Mama, it’s not like that at all,” I assured her. When I tried to slide off the stool, she pointed a finger at me and told me to stay where I was. “Please, don’t act this way. You’re making it seem like I killed someone.”
“Have you?” She folded her arms tightly across her chest. Dad gaped at her. It was the first time I truly feared Mom’s grip on reality might be slipping. Once this blew over, I was going to talk to him about getting her some professional help because it was obvious there was something deeper going on with her. We’d all failed her by chalking these mood swings up to her being high strung.
“Of course not,” I shot back. “How could you even think such a thing?”
Gabe fisted his hand in the back of my T-shirt.
“You’re the one who mentioned it,” she pointed, seeming satisfied with herself. “And again, you won’t talk to me, so I have nothing better to do than assume the worst.”
I couldn’t take it any longer. Listening to her, I realized how much hell I’d put Gabe through with my obsessing over everything that could go wrong. Ignoring that we weren’t alone, I turned to Gabe and took his free hand in both of mine. “I’m sorry.”
I watched his Adam’s apple dip as tears formed along his lash line. There I went, botching things up again. I leaned in to kiss his cheek.
“Babe, don’t cry,” I whispered. “I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. I’m only sorry if I ever drove you nuts thinking about everything that could go wrong. I love you.”
