“Hey, it’s going to be fine,” I parroted the words he told me so often. And then, to make sure he had a good first day of college, I slid my hand around to the small of his back and tenderly pressed my lips to his. When I pulled back, his mouth hung slack. I used one finger to close it, then slid the pad of my thumb over his cheek. “I promise, you’re going to have a great day, and you can tell me how right I was when you see me tonight.”
“Yeah, I know.” I stood at the intersection, watching him cross the street and disappear into the coffee shop.
* * *
The followingMonday morning crashed down around us like a hurricane. My alarm blared at six and Gabe threw a pillow at the wall, demanding I shut that damn thing up before he pitched my phone out the window. I chuckled, realizing he would never be a morning person. As much fun as it’d been to wake up every morning and have breakfast together last week, I let him sleep.
I entered the password on his phone and set six alarms, just in case five weren’t enough. Even then, I knew I’d have to call him between my first and second classes to make sure he hadn’t turned off his phone so he could sleep uninterrupted. After showering, I quickly dressed and sat in what’d officially been dubbed the smelly chair?—despite the fact it no longer reeked like stale beer after a thorough cleaning?—and surfed the internet on my phone while I watched Gabe sleep. When he rolled over and curled his body around my pillow, I snapped a quick picture for posterity.
Shortly after nine, my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out as discreetly as possible and smiled at the message.You were supposed to wake me up.
Sorry, you were too cute to disturb,I texted back before tucking the phone away so I could pay attention to the professor droning on the historical development of Western culture. This course was going to be mind-numbingly boring, but I was trying to not fall into a false sense of security that the semester would be a breeze. The professor came across as one who would be a total hardass, despite the first-day pep talk he’d given us about how passions were meant to be embraced and he was there to guide us through our journeys.
I told myself I wouldn’t keep checking my phone, but when it buzzed for the fourth time, I decided to look. Gabe had text-bombed me.
9:32 - I’mnotcute.
9:33 - Okay, so I totally am, but that’s beside the point. Wake me up from now on.
9:35 - On second thought, don’t. Sleep good. But I need to get up earlier. Didn’t have time for my Port Java run today.
9:47 - Heading in now. Wish me luck. Pizza night?
Dad had given me a lecture about utilizing the meal plan he’d paid for, but the food in the dining hall seriously lacked flavor and texture. There were other options available, but by the end of the day, I had zero energy to go back out into the real world. I could only hope it got easier once I got into the swing of the semester.
By the end of the first month of school, I knew I was in over my head. I hadn’t listened when everyone told me I didn’t have to take the maximum allowed credits. Unlike most students, I loved a challenge, so I figured packing my schedule would be a good plan. The reality was there was exponentially more homework in college.
I missed Gabe. Sure, I saw him every day and slept next to him every night, but it wasn’t enough. We spent most evenings in the common area, him at one end of the couch and me at the other, both with books strewn between us and laptops perched on our legs. When his eyes grew heavy and he couldn’t concentrate anymore, we’d pack up our books and he’d head to bed. I, on the other hand, would fall into the chair under the loft and keep working until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer. Lesson learned. If I survived this semester, I’d rethink how many credits I took on for the spring. I wanted to regain the balance between my academic and personal lives.
