9
Dane
There’s a storm coming in. Not sure why I’m writing that in here, but I am. They say it’s supposed to be a big one. We’re supposed to evacuate, but how can I leave when this is my home? -C
I snuckout of the suite early, while Brook was still curled deep beneath the quilt in my bed. Today wasthe day. James and I were going to lunch to discuss what we wanted to do with the inn. In my mind the only option was to keep the business in the family. While I’d never met my grandfather, I had to believe this was important to him if he’d entrusted me with its future.
My sense of loyalty warred with twenty-five years of bitterness. I wanted to say fuck it, demand that we sell the place, and walk away out of spite, but by all accounts, my grandfather was a good man who was cowed by a controlling woman who came from a family that cared more about appearances than love. Could I really be the one to destroy the one thing he’d built for himself? That was the question I needed to answer before meeting with James.
Long after Brook had fallen asleep, I’d tossed and turned in the bed. Watching him. When I imagined what it would be like to quit my job, stop traveling, and have this view every night, the idea held more merit than when Grady had suggested a change of scenery. Working next to Brook, taking my grandfather’s legacy and transforming it into our own was a great fantasy, but pulling that lever would require me to face two changes I had avoided at all costs: I’d have to admit I was tired of being alone, and I’d lose the anonymous shield created by city living.
I had already learned Sunset Beach was the type of town where you couldn’t hide. Nearly every day a few locals trickled in to meet Phillip Montgomery’s long-lost grandson. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t choke me up to hear their stories about me. To hear what they knew about Dad and me, not from the papers, but from my grandfather. Originally, I’d been nervous about Dad relocating to someplace so quaint upon his release from prison, but the more I experienced life in this little town, the more I got the feeling my grandfather had hoped to have us back here. Whether or not he knew it’d be after his death was anyone’s guess. And that was the biggest tragedy of all: my dad had spent my whole life trying to prove himself, prove his worth, prove he hadn’t thrown his life away by staying with my egg donor, and now, he would never gain the approval of the man who mattered most. Yes, Sunset Beach would be a good place for Dad, but that didn’t mean I’d thrive here too.
These thoughts raced through my mind as the ocean washed over my bare feet in the early morning light. It felt wrong, walking out to the mailbox without Brook by my side, but this was a decision I needed to make without anyone’s influence. As I debated the pros and cons of uprooting my entire life, of altering my entire worldview, I couldn’t have Brook interrupting me, wanting to read notes from other visitors. Couldn’t look up and see his crystalline eyes watching me. Couldn’t hear him chuckling to himself when he was amused. Whether I stayed or left, I needed some sort of assurance I was doing it for me and not because the thought of breaking Brook’s heart when I left was too much to bear. Sure, he said he understood this was likely a passing fling, but whenever he looked at me, I felt like I mattered. Like he’d miss me when I left.
It was still too dark to read when I reached the mailbox, so I settled onto the dune, stretched my legs out in front of me with my toes buried in sand so soft it reminded me of powdered sugar, and closed my eyes. Although I’d come out here to run through every possible scenario regarding the fate of the inn, I worked to clear my head.
Brook was a huge fan of meditation and told me the only way to work through any problem was to put it out of your mind. Once the thoughts quieted, only then could a person find the answers they needed. It didn’t work. I couldn’t ease the weight on my shoulders. Too many people were counting on me. Dad wanted me close to him. James seemed eager to sell. Brook was getting closer to me. Work had training projects lined up for me for the next six months. I had a lease back in New York. I liked my life there.
But I was growing to love the peace of Sunset Beach too. Life in New York was familiar. Comfortable. Anonymous. Safe. The beach offered everything I’d only recently come to admit I wanted. Family. Roots. Love.
As soon as the sun peeked over the horizon, I opened the mailbox in case the answer to my problems was right in front of me. Unlike Brook, who scanned page after page, carefully selecting the notes he read, I flipped to a random page, relying on the universe to provide some sort of guidance.
Life isn’t about waiting for the rain to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
I wish I could live at the beach forever.
To whoever reads this, I hope you live life to the fullest and live every second as if your last.
Love,
Caroline
“Liveevery second as if your last.” I reread that line countless times. I did that, but perhaps in the wrong way. I lived as if everything could be stolen away from me at any moment because I’d learned from a young age that the people who matter never stayed around. But maybe fucked-up logic was why I felt alone even in a room full of people. I dug deep into the back of the mailbox in search of a pen. The first time Brook brought me out here, I thought the idea of a mailbox where you could send messages to a kindred spirit was nothing more than a tourist trap, but there was something I needed to say to no one in particular.
By the time I finished putting my thoughts onto paper, the sun was fully above the horizon and the tide had started going out. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but that was okay. As Brook put it, I was living on beach time. I could get used to not living and dying by the clock. I replaced the notebook where I’d found it and turned back to the ocean. Closing my eyes, I took in the sound of the waves a moment longer before beginning the walk back to the inn.
Brook was still sound asleep when I peeked into the bedroom I’d come to think of as ours. He snuffled as he reached out to my side of the bed, grumbling something incoherent when his hand found nothing but air. I toed out of my sandals and ducked into the bathroom to rinse my feet. Another lesson I’d learned quickly:neverassume you could brush all the sand off your skin. Few things were more uncomfortable than sleeping in a sandy bed. When I returned to the bedroom, ready to slip in next to Brook and get a few hours of peaceful rest, his eyes were wide open.
“I was starting to think I’d scared you off last night.” He held up the sheet in invitation. I rolled so my back was to his chest and scooted closer, needing to feel his body pressed against mine. We probably looked ridiculous with him trying to be the big spoon but he was my security blanket. Yes, the night had been particularly intense, but I wanted to find a way to prove to Brook nothing he did would send me running. Even if I left Sunset Beach, it wouldn’t be because of him. Even if we were only a temporary relief for one another, he would always hold a place in my heart. Brook was the man who’d taught me how to love, who made me want to live. That was a gift I’d cherish always.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I think it is.” I let out a deep, cleansing breath, at peace with the decision I’d made.
* * *
Hours later Brookwas behind the desk poring over the upcoming weekend’s bookings. He was meticulous, dedicated to making sure everyone who visited Bird Island Inn had an experience tailored to their needs. James thought it was a waste of time that could be spent trying to build the clientele through social media or seeking out other advertising opportunities, but as far as I was concerned, Brook was a genius.
The care he took would pay out far greater than any social media campaign. A family that didn’t have to hunt down forgotten sand toys would appreciate knowing there were some stashed behind the front desk. The couple celebrating their anniversary would tell their friends how Brook made sure to have champagne and dessert delivered to the back deck for them at sunset. Brook was trying to grow the inn through organic means. The flip side was any gaffe on our part also held the potential to bring us down.
While I waited for James to arrive, I snuck behind the desk and wrapped my arms around Brook’s waist as I rested my chin on the top of his head. I’d never been into shorter guys, but I was beginning to see the advantages. All it took was a slight turn of my head and I was able to kiss Brook’s ear, whisper everything I wanted to do to him tonight when he inevitably showed up at my door again.
He squirmed to get out of my grasp, which only made me hold him tighter. “Dane, stop. What if someone comes into the lobby?”
“Everyone who’s checked in is out for the day, and there’s only one family checking in tonight,” I pointed out. I couldn’t be certain no one would interrupt us, but it was a calculated risk I was willing to make. With fewer than two dozen rooms, it was relatively easy to keep tabs on who was coming and going at any time. And most of the guests had been in the breakfast room that morning, talking about their plans for the day. It wasn’t my fault Brook turned me into this tactile beast. “I wish I didn’t have to go to lunch with James. I’d much rather pack a bag and go out to the island with you. I hate how busy it is on the weekends now. I want that to be our spot again.”
“Aww, does that mean you like it when I drag you down there and read to you?”
