7
Dane
If this is what falling in love is like, I’ll pass. I wish I could actually talk to someone about everything I’m feeling, but my buddies would all think I’m being a wuss. Guys like me aren’t supposed to do feelings. They’re all talking about which asses they want to tap, and I’m sitting here mooning over the last person I would have expected… -S
Brook twistedin my arms to face me, those pink lips pursed, just begging to be kissed. So I did. I was tired of fighting my attraction for him. He gasped, scooting up my body until his arms were draped around my neck. He tugged at the tieback in my hair, yanking until my sloppy bun was freed. His fingers twisted in my waves as I nipped at his lower lip. I grabbed his hips, stopping him from grinding against me. Normally, that would have been exactly what I needed, but the little voice in the back of my mind told me I shouldn’t be doing this. Icouldn’tdo this, because according to James, I owned half this place and he was an employee.My employee.Fuck. My. Life.
I pushed him away, no matter how loudly my dick screamed to strip him bare right here on the balcony. There were no other buildings in view, and we were far enough from the edge no one would see us. It’d be so easy to take what I wanted, the way I always did. But employment status notwithstanding, Brook deserved better than that.
“I’m sorry, Brook….”
“It’s cool.” He wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand, removing any traces of what we’d just shared. Dammit, I didn’t want that. I wanted him. Needed him. And until the trust cleared, I didn’t technically own a damn thing.
“No, it’s not,” I argued, stuffing my hands in the back pockets of his shorts. “Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear.”
He shook his head, allowing his bangs to shield his view of me.
I wasn’t having that shit, so I reached up and tucked the hair behind his ear before brushing my fingers over his high cheekbone. “Look at me. I didn’t stop you because I wasn’t into it. I’m the exact opposite of not interested. But I should have made sure you were into it too.”
“Isn’t that obvious from the way I was practically climbing you like a spider monkey?” Brook countered. His hands were still tangled in my hair as he gently massaged my scalp. “I don’t do this, Dane. Not ever. I’m not the kind of guy to go for what he wants, but as you pointed out, sometimes you have to be willing to change the way things always were.”
“Not this,” I told him. Brook didn’t need to tell me he wasn’t a bed hopper for me to know that wasn’t his style. He was loyal to a fault, kind, and oozed stability. No way was he the type to drive to a club for random bathroom sex. “You should never compromise what you want just to get dick.”
Apparently that was the wrong fucking thing to say. Brook punched me in the shoulder and bolted off the chair. “You seriously think that’s all this is?”
No, I didn’t, but I didn’t know what it was. It’d be presumptuous to think this was the start of a once-in-a-lifetime love affair, but it wasn’t casual either. For one thing, I knew more about Brook and his life than I did the past four guys I’d slept with, combined. As much as Brook’s lithe body turned my crank, it was his laid-back nature and the shy smiles he flashed when he didn’t know I was looking that drew me to him. It was the way his body settled when he talked about his grandpa and growing up in Sunset Beach.
I reached for Brook, tumbling to the ground when my hand caught air. “Brook, wait.”
He stopped but didn’t turn around to face me. His shoulders were slumped forward, his head hung low as if ashamed of what had just happened. Brook took one step forward, and I knew I was running out of time.
“Please, let me explain. I promise it’s not at all what you think. If you hear me out and you still want to get back to what we were doing before I screwed it all up, we will,” I rushed out in a single breath. “Things are complicated for me.”
“Yeah, I get it,” he sneered. “You’re here trying to get to know your uncle and then you’re leaving. I’m not naive, Dane. I get that whatever we do is only temporary. And yeah, maybe that’s not something I’m into, but it’d be worth it with you. Not as some sort of favor to you, but because I’m not some chaste virgin. I have needs, just like you. And if I’m going to scratch that itch with someone outside of a relationship, I figure I might as well do it with someone I’m at least attracted to.”
“Would you shut up and listen to me?” I growled. This was why random sex, often in dimly lit bathrooms, worked for me. I didn’t do well with the communicating thing. I cautiously stepped in, closing a bit of the physical distance between us. “Believe it or not, this truly has nothing to do with you, other than the fact I’m starting to get the impression you’re the one who keeps the inn running.”
“Huh?”
“My uncle didn’t reconnect with my dad out of some sense of obligation,” I told him, tentatively taking his hand in mine, leading him back to the matching chaise lounges. He relaxed on one, rolling to his side to face me. “I believe he wanted to see if he and my dad would patch the rift created by my grandmother, but it wasn’t just that. As it turns out, my grandfather wanted to make sure the inn was taken care of after he died.”
“That makes sense. He loved this place.”
“Yeah, well as it turns out, he left the inn to me. Half of it, anyway,” I told him. It was still surreal to look around and realize that this place was mine. That I’d had this gorgeous business dropped into my lap by someone I’d never met.
“I’m glad you told me,” Brook said, his scowl softening. “But I don’t see what that has to do with you and me getting back to what we’d started.”
He was trying to wear me down, and it was working. Yes, there might be some moral gray area when it came to us hooking up, but as long as he knew the full deal, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
“And it’s not like you’re going to be here every day, directly supervising my work,” he continued. “You have a stake in the place, but do you mean to tell me you’re going to give up your entire life back home?”
Would he think I was nuts if I admitted the thought had crossed my mind? The little voice in the back of my head grew louder every day, reminding me that I hadn’t been happy with my life for a long time. I’d worked so hard keeping everyone at a distance that I was a miserable, lonely man when I wasn’t on the road. Going out to the clubs, getting laid, drinking, that was all a mask for how I truly felt about my life. It felt like I’d come here for a reason even if I hadn’t known why at the time. Like the universe was handing me a solution to my problems. I had to at least consider every possible solution before doing anything.
And that included being honest with Brook. If he saw screwing around with me as a quick and dirty way to release some pressure, I didn’t want him regretting whatever we might do if I did decide to stay. Wasn’t sure I could handle him pushing me away because I wasn’t someone he’d even consider as relationship material. Not that that’s necessarily what I wanted, but I was leaving my options open because if I was going to settle down with someone, I wanted it to be someone like Brook.
No, that was yet another fucking lie. I’d slept for crap every night since our first dinner because I couldn’t stop envisioning what it would be like to spend time with him. The sex would be steaming, but I got the impression the rest of our time would be a slow-burning fire. Walks along the beach in the evening, maybe more time spent on the island with him reading pages out of those silly notebooks to me. And since James dropped the bomb about the inn, those dreams included visions of the two of us working side by side, the way I thought my grandfather might’ve wished he and his wife could if she hadn’t been a frigid bitch. I didn’t wantsomeone likeBrook; I wanted Brook.
“What would you say if I told you I’m not sure what I’ll do at this point?” I asked, staring up at the cloudless sky. It was safer this way. “I’ve been doing the same thing for a long time, always expecting different results. For a while everything worked. Until it didn’t.”
