With the exception of Tyson, who wasn't a complete dickhead, Jordan had a tendency to fall for all the wrong guys. It had been hard for me to be a good friend and keep my mouth shut when yet another bag of dicks walked out of his life. Even with Tyson, I had known long before either of them had, that it wasn't going to last. The two of them were completely different and deserved to be happy, which wouldn't have happened if they had stayed together.
“Not always,” Jordan protested.
“You're right. A few of them weren't total losers,” I conceded. “And you did pretty damn good by yourself in the end. Speaking of, have you heard from Tyson at all?”
The last boyfriend he had packed up all of his shit and moved to the mountains for some sort of crunchy granola research project. The dude was a total nerd. But I knew Jordan had wanted to stay friends with him, even though they couldn't make it work as lovers. This was me trying to be a supportive friend.
“Yeah, he's doing pretty good now. He might be coming back in a few months.”
“And how do you feel about that?”
“Now who's the one playing armchair therapist?” Jordan asked. I cocked my head to the side and lifted an eyebrow. “I feel fine about it. Sometimes, it feels like being with him was this whole other life. He's solidly in my past. Doug and Eli are the only men I want to be with now.”
“Good. I'm glad to hear that.”
“And what about you?” I knew it was too much to hope that we would keep talking about his relationship. “Are things with you and Jack getting serious now?”
I shrugged. Honestly, it felt serious as hell to me, but I wasn't exactly a good judge of things like that. And Jack was almost too careful about not rushing me into putting a label on our relationship. Either that, or he was just as scared as I was that what we shared was a fling that couldn't stand the test of time.
“I like him, Jordan,” I admitted. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. This was my chance. I’d been bemoaning the distance with my friend, and I could bridge that gap now. I trusted him; he wouldn’t run home and share everything we talked about with his men. I blew out a long breath, working up the courage to ask the question that had been bothering me. “How do you know when you are falling in love with someone?”
“That's one of those questions that I don't think has a right answer. Being in love is different for everyone. And even falling in love with one person isn't necessarily the same as falling in love with someone else. Believe me, I've had enough experience with thinking I was in love to know it's always thrilling and terrifying at the same time. Do you really think you might be in love with him?”
“Don't know. I don't exactly have the best role models in my life, you know?”
“I get it, man.” Jordan reached across the console and squeezed my knee. “But just because your parents were bitter and felt stuck with one another, doesn't mean every relationship winds up that way. They're idiots to stay together because both of them want the other one to bail first. It's like watching a game of chicken; you know it’s going to suck at the end, but they’re too damn stubborn to spare themselves.”
“But how do I know the same won't happen with Jack and me?”
“Listen, you might not have shining examples of what a good relationship is supposed to look like, but you know better than a lot of people what a shady one looks like. I have faith you will get out before it gets that far.”
I was glad one of us did. I already felt so dependent on Jack, I wondered if it would be possible for me to walk away from him, or if I would stay just so I wouldn't have to go back to the lonely, miserable existence I had before he dragged my drunk ass home that first night.
Jordan parked down the street from the bar, and the two of us bypassed the line. Maybe we shouldn't have, because it wasn't exactly a busy night, but if I could still get away with a quick handshake for the bouncer and not have to sit out here in the freezing cold, I'd be an idiot to wait with everyone else.
My ass had barely hit the stool when I noticed Rusty making a beeline for us. I stiffened when he threw his arms around me. “Good to see ya, Slade. I was afraid we'd seen the last of you when you hightailed it outta here.”
“Yeah, sorry about that.” The rest of the band had wanted to close down the bar for old time’s sake, but I hadn't been in a mood for reminiscing. Everyone else was moving on with their lives, and, at the time, the only thing I had felt was anger and bitterness because they were all going home to these great lives that they were building, and I had, once again, been cast aside.
“You don't ever need to apologize, Slade,” he told me. “Just promise me you aren't going to pull another Houdini on me. Hasn't been anyone around trying to inflate an old man's ego since you left.”
“I hate to break it to you, Rusty, but…” I eased myself out of his embrace. Jordan was right. I had zero desire to flirt with Rusty. It wasn't that I found him any less attractive than I had in the past, but who needed him when I had Daddy waiting until the end of his shift so he could come over and make sure I hadn't disobeyed him.
“Holy shit! Are you seriously saying you finally found someone willing to tame your needy ass?” Rusty’s arms dropped to his sides as he took a step back. His gaze traveled over my body and he chewed on the corner of his bottom lip.
My hole clenched as I remembered all the ways Jack had tamed me over the past month. My ass was definitely not deprived of attention. And, with any luck, in a few hours, I'd be able to bare my hole for him again as I begged him to fill me.
“Guess I'll have to find me a new boy to treat me like I'm the rock star.”
“Don't worry, Rusty,” Jordan said. “Just because Slade’s finally settling down doesn't mean there aren't plenty of single boys waiting for you to notice them.”
“That's kind of you to say, but we both know it's a lie.” Rusty's shoulders slumped forward, and I couldn't help but wonder if I'd misread the cues from him during the years I'd spent playing weekend gigs here. Maybe he had wanted me to keep goading him until he caved. “No one wants a grumpy old man who’s already married to his work.”
Peace settled over me when I realized it didn't matter if Rusty's intention had been for me to keep working at him until he gave in. If I had ever pursued anything with him, beyond some shameless flirting at the bar, I might not have been available when my path crossed with Jack's. And I wouldn't trade him for anything.
With that knowledge in the back my mind, I settled onto my stool and flagged down the bartender while Jordan and Rusty bantered back-and-forth. For almost as long as I had been trying to get in Rusty's pants, Rusty had been trying to get Jordan to leave Club 83 and work the bar at The Dandy Ginger. My friend was something of a big deal in the local bartending circles. He would deny it, but the bar owners all wished he'd work for them because customers would follow.
A few minutes later, Jordan took the stool next to mine. He gave my shoulder a quick squeeze. “See, I told you there was nothing to worry about.”
“You were right.” I took a long draw off the bottled beer I was nursing. If I was only allowed three drinks, I needed to pace myself. “Is it wrong that part of me wants to go home now and wait for Jack to get done with work?”
“Not at all,” Jordan reassured me. “Because as soon I know the two of us have hung out long enough that Eli won't lecture me, I plan on heading home so my Daddies can reward me for being a good boy, too.”
I chuckled and shook my head. Who would've thought this is where the two of us would have wound up? Now, I just needed to touch base with Jack and make sure he and I were on the same page, because I didn't want him for just a month or two. As much as it scared the ever-living shit out of me, I wanted to be Jack's boy for as long as he’d have me. Maybe even forever.
