“I’m pretty sure no drastic measures will be necessary this time. But, dammit, Jack, I’ve watched you circling the drain for far too long. If someone was keeping track, I’d be willing to bet the number of hours you spend in the building goes up every single week, while the number of minutes you spend out here actually socializing with anyone goes down.” The way William maintained eye contact as he leaned in, had me fighting the urge to squirm. “You have to make a change, Jack, otherwise you’re going to be miserable and alone.”
“I’m not an anti-social hermit, just because I’m trying to maintain a professional distance from the customers that I rely on to keep the doors open,” I argued. I’d long ago grown tired of having to turn down every sub who approached me, thinking their not-so-subtle advances would be the ones I couldn’t resist.
“Bullshit, Jack,” William spat out. “You and I both know why you withdrew into your office. I’m not gonna call you out on that because it sounds like—if you get your head out of your ass—things are starting to turn around. Now, you just need a little bit of help getting yourself on the right track. A wise man once told me that I’d be no good to my boy if I didn’t take care of myself first.”
“Sounds like a crock of shit if you ask me,” I huffed. Man, having my own words thrown back at me sucked. Still, I knew my friend well enough to know that he wasn’t going to let this drop. I slumped back on the couch and closed my eyes. “So, tell me, oh wise one, what are these rules you think I need in my life?”
“I’m glad you asked.” William sat up straighter, scooting closer on the couch. “First, I want you to tell me which two days of the week I can come down here and not see your ugly mug. I don’t want you sneaking in the back door. If I have to, I’ll tell Sam to ignore you if you try calling him. You gave that boy a management position, now it’s time for you to show him that you believe in his abilities to run this place in your absence.”
“What if there’s something that needs my immediate attention?” I argued.
“Nope, not going to get a loophole here, Jack. Keep pushing me, and I’ll tell you to take a full week off just so you can detox.”
My brow furrowed as I tilted my head to the side.
“You’re an addict, Jack,” William clarified. “Your drug of choice isn’t alcohol, or anything illegal, but that doesn’t make your vice any less harmful. And, lately, you’re not even doing that very well.”
“Gee, way to bolster a man’s ego,” I grumbled. “And I’m not a workaholic.”
“Prove it,” William dared me. “Call that boy of yours and take him somewhere special.”
I barked out a laugh. No way in hell was that going to happen. If I couldn’t stand the idea of having no contact with the club for a couple of days, there was no way I’d make it an entire week.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” William rested a hand on my knee. “But don’t worry, we will take baby steps until, eventually, you’ll be able to take a much-needed vacation. Maybe once you prove to yourself this thing you’re building with your boy isn’t just a flash in the pan, you can take him up to the lake. You still have your house up there, don’t you?”
Bile churned in my stomach. I did, but I wasn’t sure why I held onto the place. After Colin left, I couldn’t bear the thought of visiting the little lake house the two of us had bought as a getaway. It had been his suggestion, because he claimed I was addicted to work and needed a place where there was limited phone service and lousy internet, so I’d be forced to disconnect for a while. I had fought him, saying it wasn’t necessary but, because I loved him, I had given in.
In the year after we bought the house, we’d only visited a few times and, in the aftermath, it felt like a tangible reminder that he had been pleading with me to pay attention to him. That I’d chosen this place over him. And, since then, I’d done everything in my power to convince myself I hadn’t made the wrong decision.
“Don’t do that shit,” William scolded me. Bastard. He and Doug were the only ones who could see past my walls. He knew exactly what I’d been thinking. “You can’t change how things went down with Colin. The only thing you can do now is decide if you’re going to learn anything from losing him. Are you going to do things differently with this new boy, or are you going to dig in your heels, pointing at the past as evidence of why you don’t deserve to be happy?”
“It’s not that I think I don’t deserve to be happy,” I argued. “But with everything going on, it’s not a good time.”
“And that brings me to rule number two,” William interrupted. “You, my friend, need to learn how to delegate more. Even on the nights when you are here, you have staff who can do a lot of the work. This place could run on autopilot if you’d just let it. You could be out here mingling. People miss you, Jack.”
“I have been delegating,” I countered. “Hell, I let Sam run with his ideas for turning some of the educational spaces into themed rooms. If that doesn’t show I’m not a control freak, I don’t know what does.”
“Great, so you’ve got a start on that one.” I paused, wondering what William thought when he looked across the building to the rooms that were currently closed off. Maybe I should have consulted with him before jumping in to change everything. While I didn’t have to answer to him as the majority owner, it would have been courteous to at least talk to him first. Plus, he would be directly impacted if we had to change some of the programming he was in charge of. If he had any reservations, he didn’t mention them. “Now you have no reason to hide away.”
“You know damn well I do.” I visibly shuddered at the thought of hanging out on a busy night. When I’d opened The Lodge, I hadn’t realized the consequences of being out as a Daddy.
“So, bring your boy down here some night and a lot of your problems will go away,” William suggested.
“How’s that?”
“The boys want you because they all see how lonely you are.” William flagged down Corey, holding up two fingers. It was a bit early in the day for a drink, but one wouldn’t hurt. “Most of the boys who come here are dying to serve someone. They see your pain and they want to be the one to fix it.”
“Bullshit.” Corey approached, setting down two glasses of whiskey. It was undoubtedly from the private stash William didn’t think I knew he kept hidden under the bar for after he’d finished playing for the night. I waited until Corey was safely back at his post before continuing. “They want me because I’m a status symbol to them.”
“Think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you?” William chuckled and shook his head.
“Are you going to tell me I’m wrong?” I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for him to dispute me. The couple of times I did mess around with anyone I met here, they were more in love with the idea of me spoiling them rotten, or being able to tell their friends they were with me, than they were interested in what I was actually offering them.
William let out a loud sigh. “Whatever you say, man. Either way, they respect you enough that if you bring your boy down here, word is going to spread. And everyone knows you are a one boy Daddy. They may not like it, but they’ll back off.”
I had to admit, it wasn’t a horrible plan. But, first, I needed to see where this thing between Slade and I was going. In order to do that, I needed to get my head out of my ass. And that meant finding time to talk to Slade this weekend. Waiting until Monday wasn’t an option if I was going to prove he was a priority.
“About to unlock the doors, boss,” Sam called out from the other side of the bar. “If you’re going to make your getaway, now’s the time. It’s mixer night, and you know what that means.”
I glanced over to William who was barely able to contain his amusement at my discomfort. Yeah, fine, he’d made his point. “Piss off. Just to prove you wrong, I might stay out and mingle tonight.”
God help me.
“Yeah, I’ll believe that when I see it,” William replied. “You’ve got to be one of the only kink club owners on the east coast who’s repelled by the attention he receives.”
“Again, piss off.” I tipped back my whiskey, allowing the amber liquid to coat my tongue. I was going to need a little liquid courage, because no way in hell was I doing this stone sober.
