Haha. Joke’s on me.
“Well, if you don’t get something soon, let me know,” Jordan suggested. “We have a few openings down at the bar. You know I’d put in a good word for you.”
Yeah, I did. And that was exactly why I hadn’t even considered talking to Eli about a job. Things were already strained between us. I didn’t need to add being a lowlife to the list of faults Eli saw in me. Fine, so maybe I had brought his negative assumptions on myself. Probably had something to do with that night he caught me blowing some dude in the back hall. I didn’t see what his problem was; he ran a gay bar for fuck’s sake. But apparently, according to Jordan, he’d had a close call in the past and wanted to at least pretend like he was keeping things on the up and up. He wasn’t naïve; he knew that guys were getting off in his bar every night.
“I’ll keep you posted,” I responded.
“Make sure you do.” There was silence across the line, then soft breathing. The silence dragged on for a beat. Two. Three. “Slade, I know you have issues with taking handouts but you gotta let it go, man. Stop believing all the bullshit your dad put in your head. Letting your friends help you when you’re down isn’t a weakness. Hell, how many times have you let me crash at your place when I was going through a bad spell with whatever guy I was dating?”
“So, your place Tuesday at eight?” Confirming that I’d attend their little get together was a good way to get Jordan off the topic of my dismal career opportunities.
“Yeah,” he confirmed. “Don't worry if something comes up and you're not able to make it. I’d completely understand.”
The sad tone in his voice said otherwise. He struggled a bit with figuring out his place in his new relationship. He had vented to me a few times about not wanting to take on all of Doug and Eli's friends as his own. He had done that when he was with Tyson, and when the two of them split, most of their so-called mutual friends did, too.
“Jordan, I’ll be there.”
“But if you get a job between now and then…”
“Then I’ll tell them I had already made plans for that night.” Not like that would be an issue since my phone wasn’t ringing off the hook to interview for jobs I hadn’t applied for. “It sounds like this is a big deal to you. Don’t worry, I’ll be there so you have someone to talk to.”
“That’s not the only reason I invited you,” Jordan scoffed.
“But it is one of them?”
“You know damn well it is.”
“For a guy who has everything he’s ever wanted, you seem to have a hard time believing you’re where you’re supposed to be.”
“Yeah, and for a guy who doesn’t understand the attraction to being in a committed relationship that lasts longer than one round of orgasms, you sound a bit jealous of my relationship,” Jordan shot back.
If he only knew the half of it. There were some things that I had never told anyone, including Jordan. While I would feel bad keeping most secrets from him, no good would’ve come from telling him this one and now it was too little, too late.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and blinked my eyes a few times. I wasn’t going to get all mopey and weepy.
“Hey man, I hate to do this, but I really gotta run,” I told him. I prayed he wouldn’t ask me where I was going. I didn’t want to admit my only destination was my bed.
“Yeah, cool. Okay.” I heard him let out another long sigh as if he was tempted to say something else. He must have decided against it. “Okay, well, I will see you Tuesday night.”
“Yeah, sounds good. Anything I need to know? Any sort of dress code?”
“No, man, just come as you are. Not like you’d listen if there was a dress code anyway, but this is just a chill get together with our friends. Call it a way for everyone to get to know one another better.”
Oh joy. Just what I needed. More people trying to get to know the basket case who was standing at the dead-end of his life. I tossed my phone to the other end of the couch after Jordan and I said goodbye. It would die soon if I didn’t plug it in but that was okay by me. If my phone was dead, it couldn’t ring. If it didn’t ring, no one could interrupt me while I was trying to sleep.
Such an exciting life I led, sleeping away my Friday night instead of rocking it out on stage.
