“Then I suppose I will have to prove you wrong.” The two of us could go back and forth like this all night, but we wouldn’t get anywhere. I bent down and kissed Slade’s shoulder, followed by his neck, and finally his temple. “Get some sleep. We can revisit this once both of us are rested. But don’t think I’m going to let you off the hook, Slade. I know where you live now, and if I have to, I’m not above enlisting help from Doug and Jordan.”
“Pushy bastard,” Slade muttered. Alcohol and exhaustion were already pulling him under. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and stretched out on the bed next to him. Eventually, I would have to go, but I had meant it when I promised Slade I wasn’t leaving until I knew he was okay.
I wasn’t only talking about tonight.
* * *
I slipped furtherinto creeper mode with every passing minute. I never slept well when I was away from home, and tonight I had the added complication of Slade. He was one huge puzzle in need of solving. Every time I closed my eyes to try and sleep, my mind started racing with problems and solutions.
What to do about this attraction.If I knew what was good for me, I’d ignore the way he made me feel.
How to make him understand his own worth.Far more work than I had the time to invest, but I’d be damned if that deterred me.
How to combine the two without him shoving me away.
He would be well within his rights, of course. I had pushed further than I intended tonight. I couldn’t help it. This was a boy who practically screamed for someone to help him, even if the words coming out of his mouth insisted the exact opposite. And the thought of anyone else lifting him up until he could stand on his own two feet, annoyed the hell out of me.
Hoping to assuage the guilt of not going into work, when I’d promised myself I’d only stay at my brother’s for an hour or so before heading in to check on things, I pulled my cell phone out and started working while Slade slept.
No one had texted me with any catastrophes they couldn’t solve. That could have been because it was a quiet night, or it just might be a sign I hired competent staff to take charge in my absence. I didn’tneedto spend every waking hour behind my desk, worrying about everything falling apart if I wasn’t in the building.
Still, I fired off a quick text to Sam to get an update on how the night had gone. Then, I wasted some time checking email and skimming over the most recent reviews left for the Lodge. All was well there, too.
No one’s indispensable, Jack. Not even you.Maybe Doug and Eli were right. Hell, Eli had let himself fall into this same trap, and it almost cost him the sickening happiness he had now. Maybe Icouldinvest some time into helping Slade believe people gave a damn about him.
With that revelation, I set the phone on Slade’s nightstand…if you could call it that. I doubted I’d sleep, but I had a lot to do tomorrow, so I swiped the phone and set the alarm for five o’clock, changing it to vibrate only so I wouldn’t wake Slade.
As much as I would love to cancel all of my appointments and spend the day getting to know Slade better, without the alcohol and belligerence, I had made a promise to Sam. The kid seemed shocked I would listen to his ideas, and I wasn’t going to let him down just because I had a new project I wanted to work on.
He’s a man, not a fucking problem for you to solve. If that’s how you’re going to approach this, walk away now.
That admonishment sounded a lot like Colin, the only boy I’d ever truly loved. As it turned out, he had some very strong feelings about how I approached life. As he finished packing his bags to leave me, he let everything he’d been holding in escape.
My solution had been to never allow myself to get too wrapped up in a boy I played with. I was more like the cool uncle than their Daddy. Doing so saved both of us from hurting in the end.
Until now. I wasn’t sure how I’d react if Slade kicked me out in the morning, and I didn’t trust myself to go slow with him. Iwanted.Needed.
I laid next to Slade, still fully dressed and on top of the covers so there were layers of protection from temptation. When he thrashed around, mumbling incoherently, I placed a hand between his shoulder blades, and he stilled instantly. I didn’t remove my hand, and he scooted to the center of the bed, reaching out to me in his sleep.
“You’re okay, boy. I’m not going to leave you.” Still sleeping, Slade let out a soft sigh. I rolled to my side, draping an arm over his chest and threading our fingers together.
By three o’clock, I was more annoyed than anything. I needed to sleep. Maybe I could call Sam, once it was a decent hour, and ask him if we could push back our meeting. Not cancel it, because that would crush him, but push it back far enough that I could wake Slade, make sure he ate some breakfast, then run home for a quick nap and a shower.
Slade nestled against me, oblivious to how his ass rubbing against my dick affected me. I squeezed his hand tighter and he stilled, then I bit down on my lip to have something to focus on other than my arousal. And, eventually, I drifted off to sleep.
My phone vibrated on the overturned milk crate next to Slade’s bed. Slade grunted his disapproval before burrowing deeper under his blankets when I released him and swung my feet over the edge of the bed.
Even in sleep, worry and anxiety were etched into Slade’s features. I smoothed the thumb over his brow before kissing him lightly. “Relax, boy. I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.”
It wasn’t until I was across the hall in the bathroom, that I realized the truth of the promise I had made him. I had no business being here, no business pursuing him, yet, something about him made it impossible to walk away.
Once I decided to go for something, I was all in. Not having a notepad, I went into the living room, intending to make some notes on my phone. I wouldn’t have believed it was possible if he had told me, but this room was even worse than the bedroom. I carefully piled the laundry at one end of the couch, broke down a few boxes, and gathered dirty dishes and empty take-out containers on my way to the kitchen.
I shuddered when I turned on the light. If the state of Slade’s apartment was anything to go by, he was worse off than I had imagined. He fully expected me to run when I saw the state of his apartment, but all it did was strengthen my resolve to help him. It would’ve been easy to clean up for him—a nice surprise when he woke up and had one less thing to worry about—but that would do him no good in the long run. I neatly stacked the dishes in the sink and wiped down the countertops, using a bottle of spray disinfectant I found under the sink.
There were just enough coffee grounds in the bottom of the can for me to brew a pot. Thank God for small miracles.
The state of the refrigerator was unsurprising. Other than condiments and a couple of bottles of water, it was completely bare. I opened the notes app on my phone and began making a list.
