The ATV comes into view, four tires pointed up the hill so I’m staring at the underside of the vehicle. I pull the cellphone out of my pocket, dialing 911 before I even see Tony. If that’s how the ATV looks, I can’t fathom there’s any chance we’re not going to need an ambulance out here as soon as possible.
Not again. I can’t do this again. Please God, don’t do this to me again.The thoughts are a mantra as I close the distance between Tony and me. “No!” I scream, racing around behind the ATV. I lift up on the handlebars, but it’s no use. Even with the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I can’t lift it up the hill. Defeated, I fall to my knees next to Tony.
“Baby, it’s going to be okay. I’m calling for help,” I promise him. “You have to stay with me, okay?”
Tony mumbles, blood streaming from a cut on his forehead. I shove my phone back into my pocket. The worthless piece of shit won’t connect.
“Dom! Tony!” I look up the hill to see Andrew slipping and sliding down to me.
“Go back up,” I instruct him. “You need to call for help. I don’t know the address out here. Tell them it’s bad. He’s pinned under the quad and I can’t lift it off him.”
I sit on the ground next to Tony’s head, feeling more helpless than I’ve ever felt in my life. With Brandon, there was no hope by the time I caught up to him. Now, I can do nothing other than stroke Tony’s blood-soaked hair, making promises I have no faith in myself.
“Help’s on the way, baby.” Tony’s breathing is shallow and labored. No longer able to hold it in, I lean over, puking all over the ground behind me. I need to do something. Anything.
Andrew rushes back down the hill. “Fuck,” he mutters, reaching out for a branch as he loses his balance. He rights himself, nearly jumping over the end of the ATV. “Dom, let’s see if we can work together to get this off of him. The ambulance will be here as soon as they can, but we have to get that weight off his chest.”
I nod mindlessly. I can feel my own body going into shock. Watching another man that I love slip away from me is more than my mind is able to process. Andrew reaches down to pull me off the ground. “You ready?” he asks and I nod again. “Okay, on the count of three. One… two… three…”
We both dig our heels in, pushing with our full bodies. With Andrew’s help, we’re able to move the ATV, but not enough. “Again,” Andrew demands. He counts and we shove the vehicle again, this time righting it on its wheels. “Hold it there.”
I do as I’m told as Andrew lifts the front bumper high enough to clear Tony’s legs. Once the ATV is safely out of the way, I fall to my knees, running my hands over every inch of his body. “Go back to the house and wait for the paramedics,” I instruct Andrew, schooling my features so maybe Andrew won’t see how dire the situation is.
“Dom, I don’t feel right leaving you out here with him.” Andrew crouches next to me, placing his fingers on Tony’s neck. The pulse is there, but it’s weak. I know because I haven’t stopped counting the heartbeats since my fingers landed on Tony’s wrist.
“Would you rather Cara find out something’s wrong when the ambulance pulls in? Go!” I yell. “There’s nothing more we can do for Tony right now, but he’ll never forgive us if she flips out and something happens to the baby. Go. I’ll be fine.”
Andrew gives me a quick hug that offers little comfort and stands over us. “If anything changes, call me.”
“I will. Please tell them to hurry.” My voice falters as Andrew runs up the hill.
Tony’s raspy breaths and my sobs fill the air as I pray help will arrive in time. It has to. Surely, there’s no way any higher power could do this to a person twice in one lifetime.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dom
Tony’s beenin surgery for six hours and thirty-four minutes. The bitter coffee in my paper cup has long since turned cold. I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. After Mercy Flight arrived, Andrew, Cara and I jumped into the car and raced to Strong Memorial Hospital to begin the agonizing waiting game.
I’m not sure how I’d have made it this long if not for Cara. She’s the only one who’s able to get any direct information from the doctors because she’s his family. She tried telling them that I’m Tony’s husband, a slight bend in the truth, but they paid no attention to her. In a completely selfish way, I’m okay with that because I’m not sure I could have made some of the decisions they asked her to. Even though she gave the same answers I would have, just hearing them ask about end-of-life directives sent me spiraling into the abyss.
“He’s going to be okay,” Andrew says as he sits in the chair next to me. “Why don’t you go down to the cafeteria and eat before he gets back from surgery?”
“I won’t leave him,” I snap. I have no intention of getting out of this seat until I know Tony is okay. The doctors told Cara that he has something called a burst fracture in his L1 vertebra. What that means, as the doctor impatiently explained, is that the vertebra was crushed in all directions. They had to stabilize him before doing surgery, which meant a night of tests and waiting. He’ll probably never walk again, but we can work with that because at least he’s alive.
“Dom, you’re not going to be any good to anyone if you collapse from exhaustion,” Cara soothes, sitting on my other side. I take each of their hands in one of mine and say another prayer. For someone who’s spent years claiming I’m not religious, I sure am now. The fact that Tony’s still alive is a miracle, but he’ll need a few more before he’s out of the woods. “If I have something brought in here, will you eat it?”
I cock my head to the side, wondering if she’s going to give up if I tell her no. She’s enough like her younger brother that I figure it’s a lost cause. “I’ll try,” I concede.
Cara goes to the nurse’s station to make sure we’re allowed to eat in the waiting room. They’ve been amazing so far, to the point of finding an empty on-call room where Cara could sleep. Like me, she refuses to leave until Tony’s stable and out of surgery.
I jump out of my seat when I see the doctor approaching Cara. Andrew’s right behind me as we rush to her side. “…everything went according to plan. He’s in recovery now, but as soon as he’s settled into his room,familywill be allowed in to see him.” The doctor narrows his eyes, making his stance on whether or not I’ll be allowed to see the man I love abundantly clear.
“Doctor Mayhew, thank you for everything,” Cara says in a syrupy sweet voice. “As soon as Tony’s comfortable,we’ll allbe eager to see him.”
“Mrs. Rossi, right now I feel you’d be better served focusing on your brother’s recovery. We’ll know in the next day or two what his prognosis will be and he’s going to need your support--”
Andrew steps between his wife and the doctor, likely to keep the pregnant woman’s hormones from leading to a manslaughter charge. “With all due respect, Dom will be the one caring for Tony when he leaves and as such, I believeyouwould be wise to follow his sister’s wishes that he be informed of every update.” He squares his shoulders, rising to his full six-foot four-inch height. He’s pissed off enough right now that even I’m a bit scared of him. “If you can’t or won’t do so, we will request another doctor be placed in charge of Tony’s care.”
