He started to shake his head, then stopped with his back to me. Fuck, I wanted to see those gorgeous eyes again. Taking one proverbial step closer to the edge, I tightened my grip on Enzo's shoulder and turned him to face me. He bowed his head, staring at his feet.
"It's okay if it is, Enzo," I reassured him. He looked up briefly, his eyes wide with disbelief. "I told you before I wouldn't judge you for what you wanted, and I meant it. You can tell me. If you want this, let me help you."
"I shouldn't." His protest didn’t escape me, but he wasn’t disputing my assumption. As his shoulders slumped and his chin dropped to his chest, I saw a shimmer in his eyes that hadn't been there before.Oh, you beautiful man.
Without thinking too much about it, I took Enzo in my arms and held him against my chest. I'd upset him, even if only by forcing him to admit a truth I doubted he'd verbalized before. Now, I wanted to make him feel better. Make him believe neither Tony nor I would judge him if this was something he was curious about.
"You can't tell him," Enzo pleaded, his words muffled against my shoulder. "Please. He'll think I'm messed up. I'm not supposed to feel this way."
I ran a hand over Enzo's hair and kissed the top of his head. Just like his brother, he was a few inches shorter than me, the perfect height to hold like this. "I won't tell him, but I think he's curious too."
"I don't believe that," Enzo scoffed. "He's busy fucking everything with a heartbeat, he doesn't need to think about doing something so..."
I clamped my hand over Enzo's mouth to keep him from finishing his thought. I didn't want him telling me all the reasons he couldn't fantasize about being with his brother, I wanted to give him a glimpse and see what happened.
"You're wrong, Enzo. More than once, Tony's asked me if I'd ever thought about being with both of you at the same time," I admitted, hooking a finger under Enzo's chin to force him to look at me. "And I have. Lord, have I ever."
"Yeah, it's the twins fantasy. I know. Heard all about it from more than one of Tony's playthings." He seemed irritated, but he didn't pull away from me.
"I won't insult you by saying that's not part of it for me," I told him, hoping my honesty would count for something. "But it's not just that. I don't look at the two of you as halves of a whole. Being attracted to you isn’t part of some fetish or fantasy about sleeping with a set of twins. You're an amazing person on your own, Enzo, and I’d truly like to get to know you better."
"So you're saying that if you met me before Tony, you’d have approached me instead?" Why was it so hard for Enzo to believe that I could be interested in him as his own person?
"That's exactly what I'm saying." I reached up, brushing my thumb over Enzo's high cheekbones. God, he really was stunningly beautiful. There was something about his humility and innocence that made him even more attractive to me. "If all you're interested in is one night to live out your fantasies, it's fine by me. But don't you think you owe it to yourself to at least try?"
Enzo sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and appeared to be contemplating my suggestion. Without giving him an opportunity to come up with an excuse to bail, I slid my fingers around the back of his neck and pressed my lips to his. If I had my way, there'd be plenty of kissing tonight, but this first time, I wanted it to be just the two of us. I needed Enzo to understand my attraction to him wasn't based on any kinky fun we got up to.
"I need to get the rest of this makeup off my face. Think about what I said. For now, I'd like it if you’d join Tony and me in the living room for a movie. I promise, nothing will happen unless you want it to, and even though I think you're not giving Tony enough credit, I won't spill your secrets to him. If you want to find out if I’m right or not, go sit on the couch with him, and I’ll be there as soon as I can."
Walking away from Enzo was the hardest thing I'd done that night. The uncertainty of not knowing whether he'd turn around and join us in the living room or retreat into his bedroom drove me crazy, but I'd said all there was to say. Now, it was up to Enzo to decide if it was what he wanted to do.
Chapter Four
Enzo
My legs shookwith every tentative step back to the living room. I ran a hand over my mouth, trying to figure out if that had really just happened. I could still taste the spicy cinnamon from Max's gum on my lips, so it had to be real. And now, he wanted me to wait for him so all three of us could fuck around.
Max knowing so much about me freaked me out. I had worked hard to make sure no one ever learned the twisted fantasies that had plagued my mind since puberty hit. It was completely unnatural to be attracted to Tony in that way, and yet I couldn't stop myself from wishing he would look at me the same way he looked at everyone else he was attracted to.
There was a good chance Tony would hate me if I followed Max's lead tonight. Even though Max seemed convinced Tony wanted me as much as I wanted him, I found it hard to believe. Not once had I picked up on the faintest hint of attraction or curiosity from him. We spent the first eighteen years of our lives sharing the same bedroom, sleeping less than four feet away from one another, and nothing ever happened. Or at least, to the best of Tony's knowledge, nothing ever happened. I was ashamed to admit how many nights I pretended to be asleep when he came to bed, taking myself in hand as I watched him undress. It was depraved. It was wrong. And yet I couldn't change any of it.
"Hey, man," Tony greeted me. He patted the couch cushion next to him, inviting me to sit down. How many nights had the two of us sat next to one another watching a movie just like Max intended for tonight? Tony never thought anything of it when I sat close to him. Neither had I, but now, the idea of sitting on the cushion next to his, so close I could feel the heat radiating off his body, terrified me. I was convinced if I sat next to him, he’d see through me and tell me how disgusting I was.
I looked at the papasan chair we picked up at a yard sale when we first moved in. Sitting there would give me the space I so desperately needed, but Max clearly instructed me to sit on the couch with Tony. If I sat there, Max would know I was agreeing to his offer as soon as he walked back into the room. I wouldn’t have to say a word.
I swallowed hard as I took the last few steps to the couch. I sat stiffly with my back pressing into the arm, my knees curled up under me. Rather than look at Tony, I stared straight ahead.
"You okay?" Tony asked. When he reached out to me, I flinched away. "Seriously Enzo, tell me what's going on. Please?"
"It's nothing," I lied. "It's been a long day and I'm tired, but Max asked me if I wanted to watch a movie with the two of you, and I didn't want to be rude."
"He's not like that," Tony argued. "Seriously, Max is one of the coolest guys I know. He's not going to get all uptight and hold it against you if you're too tired to stay up."
"Is that what you want?" I still wasn't convinced Tony wanted the three of us to fool around together as much as Max implied. How could he? That would mean he thought about all of us being together. "If you'd rather spend some time alone with Max, I can leave you guys alone."
Tony slid across the couch, placing a hand on my shoulder. "He said something to you, didn't he?"
I could keep lying to Tony. I didn't want to, but at the same time, I didn't want to tip my hand if Tony wasn't talking about what Max and I had discussed in the hall, so I decided playing dumb was the better option. "About what?"
