"Enzo, can you and Max finish up in here while Frankie and I go talk things out?" I asked. My face felt like it was on fire with shame as I pushed my way through the small crowd, unable to make eye contact with anyone. I was impulsive, but I wasn't a hot head. Not like that. The worst part was, I couldn't even tell Frankie why his accusation cut so deep. It wasn't so much him referring to Max as some passing fling; I'd brought that on myself through months of denial I had feelings for him. The real reason it'd upset me so damn much was I wished like hell I could be honest with Frankie. Brothers didn't keep secrets. We'd gotten through almost three decades together because we were honest with one another, even if it took a while to get the words out. But now, I didn't see a way to tell them how much Enzo meant to me without risking losing them forever.
Frankie and I walked to the far edge of the backyard. In years past, there had been a fort back here, but we'd worked together to tear it down when Sophia was a baby, not wanting her to get hurt on the rotting boards or rusted nails.
"What in the hell was that about?" Frankie asked, kicking away some brush at his feet. "And don't you dare tell me to butt out. You losing your shit like that isn't normal, so you'd better start explaining quick. If you're not as into this thing with Max as he is, you need to tell him. You were pretty adamant you didn't want to be in a relationship, so I'm struggling to figure out how you did such a total one-eighty in a matter of weeks without anyone knowing a damn thing."
"It's not that," I responded. My throat felt thick, my stomach heavy as I weighed my options. "And yeah, things have moved quicker than I'd like, but his roommate was a total douche and he needed a place to stay. He's been at our place almost every night for the past few weeks, so it doesn't make sense for him to look for a place of his own."
"Okay, so that's part of it," Frankie pressed when I didn't offer any other explanation. I couldn't—wouldn't—say much more without talking to the guys first. We'd agreed, as a team, what we'd share and what was only for us to know right now. But I had to give Frankie something or he'd be relentless. "What else?"
"Look, there's a lot going on right now," I said, still trying to figure out how to get him off my back without spilling everything. I sat on an old log Papa had dragged to the back of the property when I was about five. "I'm still trying to get used to the idea there's someone who's with me because he wants to be, not because he has to put up with my shit. And I've almost fucked it up more times than I care to count, so I'm probably a little testy."
"That's an understatement," Frankie scoffed, smoothing the front of his shirt for effect. "If you promise things are cool and you're in this with him because you want to be, not because he's pushing for it or because we wouldn't get off your back, I suppose that's good enough for now."
"I'm all in with him," I promised. "I was an idiot for a long time, letting my own fear keep me from seeing whether I slapped a label on it or not, he's been more than just a fuck buddy for a long time now. Other than you guys, he's the person who will always be there for me, no questions asked. I think part of what held me back is I know he was your friend first, and I don't want you pissed off at him if I wind up doing something stupid to push him away. Because let's face it, if anyone's going to fuck this up, it's going to be me."
"You need to give yourself some credit," Frankie scolded me, dropping his arm over my shoulder for a quick hug. "Yeah, you're impulsive and stubborn, cocky and inflexible, you're always waiting for the other shoe to—"
"Just out of curiosity," I interrupted him, giving him a playful shove. "Is this supposed to be making me feel better? Because seriously, someone should've told you years ago you suck at giving pep talks."
"Fuck off, I'm getting there." Frankie shoved me back, nearly toppling me off the log. "Under all that, you're a good guy. You have this huge heart, and I think that's part of why you try and keep everyone at a distance. If you don't let anyone in, they can't hurt you. But I think Freddie and I can both tell you that's a shit way to live, which is why we've pushed so hard to make you see what's been in front of you this whole time.
"As for Max being my friend first, that's true, but he's not the new shiny toy under the Christmas tree." Despite the serious conversation, I couldn't help but laugh. Suddenly, my head was filled with an image of waking Enzo up Christmas morning and having Max under the tree wearing nothing but a bow. And maybe a festive butt plug just to spice things up. Frankie smacked me again. "Dude, whatever you're thinking right now, keep that shit in your head. Yes, he's my friend, but there are some things I don't need to know about what you two get up to."
"Believe me, this is one time I'm definitely not one to kiss and tell." I pursed my lips before anything else flew out of my mouth that would have Frankie asking more questions. We seemed to be getting back to a good place, and I was determined to not ruin it.
"Good. Now, as I was saying." Frankie stood, jerking his head toward the house. I wasn't even sure how long we'd been out here, but the family was waiting on us to eat. Mama's rule: no one ate until the entire family was there. "Max and I have our own history. And no, before you even ask, we never fucked. Maybe someday, I'll tell you about it, but probably not. What I will say is he's one of the most loyal, least judgmental guys out there."
"And yet, the two of you were somehow friends," I teased.
"What can I say? I have a magnetic personality." I rolled my eyes, because Frankie was usually the toughest nut to crack in our family. "I still think you're hiding something, but I'm not going to push today."
"I appreciate that. I swear you'll know everything, but it's not only my story to tell."
"I can respect that." He gave me a solid thump on the back. "Now, what do you say we head inside before they eat all the food?"
"Yeah, as if that'd happen." Mama never had done well cooking in small batches. Even though our family had doubled in size, we'd still all go home with bags full of leftovers. I draped my arm over Frankie's shoulder as we crossed the yard. "For what it's worth, I am sorry I shoved you."
"You're just sorry you got caught," Frankie teased.
"Nah, you didn't deserve it." My shoulders slumped forward. I was already tired of trying to keep the best parts of my life boxed away where no one could see. "I've been told I sometimes suck at communication."
"Again, huge understatement." I flipped off Frankie, letting him know he was number one in my book. He threw his head back with a hearty laugh reminding me so much of Papa's it sent a shiver down my spine.
Everyone watched as Frankie and I took our places at the table. I flashed Max and Enzo a quick smile, letting them know everything would be okay.
Chapter Thirteen
Enzo
I stilledmy fingers on the keyboard when Max rolled over, running a hand over my thigh. I watched him, waiting to see if he was awake, or simply reaching out to me in his sleep. His breathing remained slow and steady, and he scrunched his nose as he burrowed into the pillow trying to get comfortable.
The first few weeks he'd been staying with us, I'd gotten up with Tony, making coffee while he showered. After a kiss goodbye at the door, I'd retreated to the living room, putting in a few hours of focused work before Max woke up for the day. But my mind always wandered, wishing I was in here with him. The beauty of working from home most of the time was I wasn't tied to a desk, so I moved my laptop into the bedroom, and now I worked while he slept, savoring every little moment when he reached out to me in his sleep.
"You're working too much," Max grumbled into the pillow. "Put that away and get over here."
As tempting as his offer sounded, I was on a deadline. I'd promised Frankie I'd have the fall marketing campaign ready to for approval by the end of the week, and I'd spent at least part of every day curled up in Max's arms when I should've been working. He was a beautiful distraction I could only resist for so long.
"In a bit," I promised, trying to focus on writing the copy for some local radio spots while Max's hand slid closer to my groin. I swatted his hand away.
