“Of course!” Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could hear the smile in his voice. “Something told me you’d want maximum sugary goodness.”
“Am I that transparent?”
“Only to those who pay attention.” Levi glanced over his shoulder and smiled at me. Since we were in the loft area, I was able to see the soft expression on his face. I found myself wanting him to look at me that way more often.
He sat me down in the small chair in the sitting area and told me he’d be right back. I opened my mouth to protest, to tell him I didn’t need anyone waiting on me, but he silenced me with a firm look. “Let me do this for you, Matteo.”
“Okay,” I responded dumbly. When he returned, he handed me a small plate piled with three donuts, and he held another mug of hot cocoa. I shouldn’t consume this much sugar at one time, but damn I wanted it. Wanted to not think about how scattered my mind would be the rest of the day. Wanted to not worry about screwing things up once the lights came back on and we were shooting.
“Stop thinking so hard,” Levi scolded me. He reached up and ran his fingers through my hair. “You do that a lot, don’t you?”
I shrugged, not wanting to confirm any of his suspicions about me.
“There’s nothing to be ashamed of, Teo.”
“Why do you call me that?” My brothers had used the shortened version of my name my entire life, but Levi was the only person outside my family I’d allowed to get away with it.
“It fits you,” he answered, as if that was the only explanation needed. “Does it bother you?”
“Actually, no,” I admitted.
“Good.” He turned his attention to his phone while I ate breakfast. Occasionally, I caught him watching me, but he’d immediately go back to whatever game he played to pass the time.
“The power company said it’ll be less than an hour,” Denny hollered, reminding me we weren’t alone. “I thought we could walk through what we want to get done today so we can make up this lost time. I’m sure Matteo has other things he needs to do today.”
“Not really.” I only worked lunch shifts at my family’s restaurant because my brain couldn’t function in the chaos of dinner rush. “My brother’s covering my shift at work today and Frankie’s boyfriend was having my car towed so one of his buddies can look at it and let me know how much it’s going to cost to fix. I might stop by my mama’s after we’re done to check on my niece because she’s not feeling well, but maybe that’s a bad idea. I don’t need to get whatever she brought home from school.”
Levi placed a hand on my knee and gave a gentle squeeze. “Why are you so nervous?”
“What do you mean?”
“Just an observation. When you were nervous the other day, you started rambling. And you’re doing it again now.” He took the plate from my hand and squeezed my fingers. “Talk to me. Let me help you work through whatever’s bothering you.”
“It’s nothing.” I sat up straighter, determined to mask my insecurity about today. I’d had time over the weekend to think about what I was doing and my mind had worked out plenty of embarrassing scenarios.
The problem was, last week had opened my eyes. Even though I’d been confused and a bit put off by John and Levi dressing me up like their personal doll and embarrassed by waddling around in diapers, it’d also been freeing. When Levi had told me to get on the floor and play with the blocks, I’d managed to turn off my brain for a while. I didn’t think about the cameras or who might be watching me. I didn’t have todoanything other than have fun.
“Don’t lie to me, boy,” Levi reprimanded, his voice rumbling. My eyes darted to the other side of the open area to see if John and Denny were watching us, but they were oblivious. “Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”
I got the impression Levi wasn’t going to give up, so I weighed my options. Yes, it’d be embarrassing to admit my budding fantasies to him, but after the shoot finished, I wouldn’t have to see him again. That made him safe. But this was a job to him. There was a chance he was turned off by everything we were doing here.
“Nothing you can say will make me think less of you,” he promised, reaching up to graze his fingers over my cheek. I leaned into his touch, chasing his hand when he pulled away. “Does it have to do with what we did last week?”
I nodded.
“You seemed put off at first,” he continued, explaining what he’d observed. “Something changed as the day went on, didn’t it?”
I nodded again, unable to find my voice. I stared at the floor, wringing my hands in my lap as I curled my toes in the plush area rug at my feet. I startled when Levi stood, lifting me out of my seat as if I weighed nothing. I should’ve been annoyed by him sitting down in the chair he’d evicted me from, put off when he pulled me into his lap. But I wasn’t. The way Levi wrapped me in his arms, encouraging me to rest my head on his shoulder, settled me and quieted my thoughts.
“It’s okay to admit you liked it,” he whispered. I felt his dick pressing against the side of my butt.Did I like it?Hell yes, I did, and that was part of the problem. For so long, I’d thought I was broken because I didn’t feel the slightest sexual attraction to anyone, but having Levi tell me to sit on the floor and play brought me to life. It wasn’t even the promise of anything sexual that got to me; it was the tender way he issued his commands. Or like now, when he sensed my unease and wrapped me tightly in his arms the way my brothers did when I was upset.
Levi’s lips brushed against my ear and I shivered. I wasn’t sure if he’d done it on purpose, but I wanted more. “Why, though?”
“Why what?” he asked. I liked that; he didn’t assume he knew what I was talking about and was giving me time to work through my jumbled thoughts. “Maybe the why isn’t as important as admitting what you liked about it.”
“You,” I blurted without thinking. Stupid faulty brain-to-mouth filter. “I mean, notyou, but what you told me to do. I’m not stupid; I know what type of site John’s trying to build and I thought it was all about sex, but that’s not what it felt like the other day.”
“What did it feel like?”
