“I guess by the time I moved out I’d forgotten it was there.” He slid his hand over my thigh, turning to face me. “There’s a whole lot I tried to forget during that time. Things I didn’t want to admit and the more I thought about you, the harder it was for me to lie to myself and ignore this huge part of who I was.”
Before the moment turned more serious, Sophia came bounding into the room. “Guys, Nonna says it’s time for you to come downstairs and get some lunch because then you have to leave.”
She placed her hands on her hips and glared at us, causing both of us to bust out laughing. No doubt that was the exact way Mama stood when she told Sophia to come up and get us. Sophia ran down the stairs as quickly as she’d arrived, giving Freddie and me one last moment alone. “Did you and Mama have a good talk?”
Freddie shrugged. “I’m sure I haven’t heard the last of it, but it didn’t feel right for the two of us to go out of town without me telling her what’s going on between us,” he admitted.
“And what exactly did you tell her?”
“I told her the truth,” he stated flatly. “I told her that I’m bi, that we’ve been dating each other, and that I think I’m falling in love with you.”
A tear welled up along my bottom eyelid. “Do you really mean that?” Freddie nodded. Forgetting about anything beyond the bedroom door, I shoved Freddie back on the bed and straddled his hips. “I love you too, Freddie. I always have, but never let myself believe that you felt the same way. Is it wrong of me to be happy when the only reason I came home is because my mama died?”
Freddie took my face in his hands, dragging me down for a languid kiss. His tongue dipped into my mouth with what could only be described as adoration and reverence. When the kiss broke, he held my face, not letting me turn away. “If anything, I think your mama would be happy for you. I know you’ve heard it before, but it was really hard on her after you left. If there’s one thing I hate for you, it’s that you never got to see the way she changed because of you leaving.”
That was my greatest regret too. Maria and I talked a lot about how Mama stood up to Papa and how she’d been a champion for Maria being whoever Maria wanted to be.
“Boys, if you don’t get your butts down here right now, I’ll send Frankie up when he gets here and then you can explain to him why you’re running behind.” Freddie shuddered, obviously not quite ready for the entire family to know what was going on between us. I hated to break it to him, but I was pretty sure his brothers already figured it out.
“We’re on our way now, Mama,” I responded, quickly jumping back before either of us could start anything again. “Don’t look at me like that. We’re about to have five days alone with no interruptions.”
“What about your roommates?” The roommates thing had been a bit of a sticking point for Freddie. He liked his privacy and my current living arrangements didn’t really afford that.
“Like I told you before, we all pretty much keep to ourselves. We’re not roommates in the friend sense, it’s a matter of convenience so that we can all afford living in a prohibitively expensive city.”
I held out a hand and pulled Freddie off the bed, leading him to the stairs. As we rounded the corner into the kitchen, Mama and Sophia were deep in conversation about our nightly trips to the park after dinner. Mama looked up, offering me an approving smile before turning her attention back to her only granddaughter. “And he said we could go every night if I eat my dinner and help him clean the table and… and… and promise that I’ll go to bed when we get home,” she explained
Mama looked at me again, giving me a nod of approval. “Those sound like very good rules.”
The front door opened, and Frankie’s voice boomed through the lower floor. He stopped short when he noticed Freddie and me standing hip to hip, leaning against the counter. Without so much as a hello, he picked up his phone and dialed someone. As soon as they answered, he said, “Just so you know, bring cash to work. You owe me twenty bucks.”
Freddie stiffened next to me. “Please tell me you guys didn’t bet on my love life,” he grumbled. When he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, I leaned in and gently rubbed his back.
Frankie apparently found this amusing because he busted out laughing. “Don’t get all pissy with me. Remember, last year it was you and our brothers who figured out I was with Calvin because I wasn’t such a grumpy asshole.”
“Frankie, what your language,” Mama scolded. That got a small chuckle out of Freddie, so there was hope he wasn’t completely mortified by his brother knowing we were together. “And you will call Tony back and tell him he will absolutely not pay you because I taught you boys better than to make foolish bets. Gambling is a sin.” This time both brothers busted out in belly laughs while Sophia and I looked on, utterly confused.
“Mama, if you’re going to try that, maybe you should find someone who doesn’t know about your trips to the casino.”
I checked the time on my watch, realizing we were going to miss our train if we didn’t hurry. After a quick round of goodbyes and extra hugs and kisses for both of us from Sophia, we followed Frankie out to Freddie’s car.
Once Frankie slid into the back seat, he leaned in between Freddie and me. “I’m happy for you, man. Not going to lie and say it wasn’t a surprise but if Peter’s who you want to be with I’m sure I speak for the entire family when I say you have our blessing.”
“Gee thanks,” Freddie scoffed. “Because I was really losing sleep at night wondering if my family would approve of my choice of boyfriends.”
“That’s not what I meant and you damn well know it.” Frankie smacked Freddie on the shoulder before placing a hand on mine. “I don’t know what happened that made you leave when we were kids, but I hope you know if you try disappearing again and hurt my brother and my niece you’ll have all four of us on your ass.”
I had no doubt of that. I also knew I’d been losing sleep at night trying to find a way to avoid hurting either of them. It hadn’t taken me long to realize offering to be Freddie’s test subject had been a huge mistake. I’d worried about him getting too emotionally invested while ignoring my own heart.
“Frankie, butt out,” Freddie barked, wringing his hands around the steering wheel so tightly I wasn’t surprised it didn’t break. “For all you know, I’ll be the one to leave him. Remember, it takes two to make a relationship work and it takes two to make a relationship fail. Isn’t that what Papa always told us?”
“I get that, but you can’t fault me for watching out for you. We all turned the other way when that bitch ex of yours pulled her shit. We’re not letting that happen again.”
I startled at the venom with which Frankie spoke about his ex-sister-in-law. It wasn’t that I disagreed with his assessment of her, but I’d only heard one side of the story. Before the brothers could break into a brawl at the stoplight, I interrupted their bickering. “Frankie I can’t promise we’ll live happily ever after, but I can tell you I’ll do everything in my power to take good care of both of them. I told Freddie this morning that I’m in love with him and I meant it. That’s something I’ve only said to two other people in my life outside of family.”
“And what happened with them?” Frankie pried when I didn’t offer any additional details.
“I swear to God, if you don’t quit right fucking now, I’m going to pull this car over and beat you,” Freddie warned. I put a hand on his arm to calm him, but he shrugged me off. “Seriously, man, I appreciate the overprotective act, but this isn’t some random fling. It’s not a midlife crisis for me. There’s a lot of shit none of you know about Peter and me and it’s going to stay that way. Neither of us have to explain shit to you, but it’d be really nice if you could shut up and be happy for us.”
