But now, I couldn’t stop replaying the way his eyes bored into me or the shame I felt at him catching me on my knees for someone else. I wished it was him in front of me. That it was his rock-hard thighs I dug my fingers into to steady myself as I sucked him into my mouth. I wanted more of his deep baritone demands, this time telling me to suck harder, take him deeper, swallow around his girth.
Fantasizing about my roommate was pointless. No way could I risk fucking up what’d been—so far—a decent living arrangement just so he could scratch my twisted itch. And even if he could do that for me, there was the issue of what happened when he decided he could boss me around whenever he wanted.
Yeah, fuck that.
Fatigue seeped into my bones, and my feet dragged with every step. I couldn’t keep wandering aimlessly to avoid going home. Either I needed to nut up and face Calvin long enough to set some ground rules, like no treating the adult roommate the same as he treated his teen son, before passing out for a few hours, or I could head to Mama’s. There was a chance my presence would go unnoticed, but if she caught me sneaking in in the middle of the night, she’d assume something was wrong. Which it wasn’t, at least not in any way I’d ever share with Mama.
My phone buzzed with an incoming text message. At this hour, it was unlikely to be one of my brothers with an emergency, but I couldn’t ignore it on the off chance it was. Or I wouldn’t ignore it because I knew in my gut it was Calvin and the more I replayed his simple demand for me to go home and wait for him, the more intrigued I became.
Did you think I was joking? I’m waiting…
My aborted responses ranged from apologizing for keeping Calvin waiting to telling him to fuck off and that I’d drop my keys off at the apartment and move out during the week when he was gone. Not knowing where the night was headed, I opted out of acknowledging his message. Something compelled me to turn around and jog back to my car. Whether it was curiosity or insanity was yet to be determined.
As I walkedup the front steps of the house, I breathed a sigh of relief at the darkness. Even the light we almost always left on in the living room wasn’t shining. Maybe Calvin had gotten tired of waiting for me or realized he was playing with fire. I eased my key into the lock, turning the knob before carefully pushing the door open, cringing when I forgot about the squeaky floorboard. It wasn’t usually that noticeable, but the quiet of the house seemed to amplify the noise. When I realized I was sneaking into my own home the same way I would’ve had I gone to Mama’s, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Something amusing?”
I fucking yelped as Calvin’s voice boomed through the darkness. I gripped the keys I’d just hung on the hook, ready to bolt. Something about Calvin’s tone scared the shit out of me, and it wasn’t just that he was apparently waiting up for me in the dark the way Papa used to. I put the keys back in their place and turned to the living room. I’d made it this far, now I needed to find out what sort of game Calvin was playing. Once I had all the facts I would figure out whether it was time to start apartment hunting again. That’d be a damn shame because there was something about the thick crown moulding and scuffed hardwood floors that called to me the first time I’d been here and I freakinglikedthis place. Calvin was going to have to try harder if he was hoping to push me out.
Whatever happened, one thing was for certain: tonight was bound to turn into one of the most bizarre nights of my life.
This was uncharted territory for me. I’d been the loser who lived in the dorms all four years of college because it was either that or move home with my parents, which would’ve been even more depressing and stifling. My roommates during those years ranged from uber-nerds who I doubted even knew what sex was like in more than a theoretical sense to a hyper-masculine jock who flaunted his parade of girlfriends as if anyone who didn’t know he was banging everything with tits and a heartbeat would assume he was queer because he roomed with a dude. That was a fun year.
I’d had a moment of “holy fuck, men shouldn’t be allowed to look that hot” when we’d first met, but I’d told myself it wouldn’t be an issue because Calvin was straight. Or—apparently—because Iassumedhe was straight. The way he chubbed up when he caught me sucking that dude’s cock tonight said otherwise. That still would’ve been fine if he didn’t know how to push my buttons.
“I don’t have all night, Frankie,” Cal stated without any hint of emotion in his voice. He didn’t sound pissed off or turned on or anything else. I really could’ve used a few cues to understand how he saw tonight playing out.
I couldn’t stand in front of the door forever; I needed to make my choice. Go hear what Calvin had to say or turn and walk out, hoping he’d forget what he saw tonight by the next time we ran into one another. With a ragged breath, I squared my shoulders and took the first daunting step into the living room.
After I ran into the arm of one of the chairs, the room was flooded with light. I blinked a few times, trying to adjust my eyes to the sudden brightness, and stared at the man who’d summoned me. He was one of those guys who could pull off just about anything from sweats and a T-shirt to a suit and tie, but tonight, he was sitting on the couch wearing nothing but a pair of dark wash jeans. Shirtless.How in the hell did I not realize Calvin was hiding all that ink?Fucking edible. While my brain screamed that it was a horrible idea to pursue anything with the man whose name was on the deed, my dick begged me to crawl onto Calvin’s lap and lick every line spanning his chest.
“Please, take a seat.” Calvin motioned to the chair that’d just attacked my leg. I felt like an idiot, because if he was putting me across the room from him, he wasn’t looking for anything more than answers. No matter how much I’d told myself I didn’twantanything more than our current arrangement, I couldn’t ignore the tightness in my chest as I realized what a fool I’d been. Now that he didn’t want me, I wanted him to need me the same way I’d decided I needed him. I squirmed in my seat, trying to get comfortable as Calvin watched my every move. Only once I appeared settled did he speak again.
“Ever since you left tonight, I’ve been trying to figure out what your deal is.” Calvin leaned back on the couch, resting one foot against the opposite knee. He stared at me and scrubbed at his beard. His scrutiny had me resisting the urge to fidget or sit straighter. “I know you have a good job. I happen to know what most of your living expenses are, and they’re not much for a single guy. So it makes no sense why I’d find you in the back room on your knees like a cheap hooker.”
I bit down on my lips to keep from telling him what I did was none of his fucking business. It wouldn’t be an inaccurate statement, but he seemed genuinely curious. Too bad I wasn’t about to explain it to him. So, I did what any mature adult would do and I shrugged before crossing my arms tightly over my chest.
“You’re not denying that you were turning tricks?” Calvin pressed when I remained silent. Pleading the fifth was my only option because I couldn’t lie to save my life. Calvin leaned forward in his seat and stared at me until I couldn’t take another second of eye contact and I had to look away. “Help me understand why, Frankie. If you’re having trouble making ends meet we can work something out.”
“Yeah, I can just bet how you’d suggest we do that,” I sniped.
“I don’t like what you’re implying. I have no intention of trading sexual favors for room and board.”
“Why not? According to you I’m nothing but a cheap hooker. Might as well use my body for something while I still can.” My stomach tightened at the implication that I thought I wasn’t worth anything other than selling my body. Fuck. I never felt guilty for how I chose to spend my time or what turned me on, but knowing Calvin viewed me that way cut deep. Flashes of memories streamed through my mind of all the times I’d willingly put myself in positions like he’d found me tonight. The men who were all too willing to whip out their wallets right along with their dicks. The casual disregard and quick exits while the taste of their cum still lingered in my mouth. An act I’d always viewed as a way for me to hand over the reins on my own terms began to disgust me.
“Dammit Frankie, that’s not what I meant,” Calvin growled. He cracked his knuckles one by one, staring vacantly across the room. “I’m pretty sure I made it pretty clear I couldn’t picture you selling your body and I want to understand why you were.”
“Different strokes for different folks.” I forced myself to lean back in the chair, hoping to hell I appeared more calm and collected than I felt.
Calvin watched me for a few long moments, pinching his lower lip. His scrutiny was intense. I held my breath as I waited to see if my explanation was enough to appease him. It wasn’t. He planted both of his feet firmly on the floor and leaned forward, steepling his fingers in front of his way too kissable lips. What tipped my world on its axis was when he smiled at me, broadly enough that fine lines appeared at the corners of his eyes. With nothing else to focus on other than Calvin, I allowed myself to catalogue his features. That was a mistake because he ticked off too many of the boxes for what I’d want in a partner if I was looking for one. Which I wasn’t, because that’d mean telling Mama the truth and I wasn’t ready forthat.
“I can accept that answer,” Calvin finally responded. I could practically hear thebutin his statement and motioned for him to respond. The jerk laughed. “So impatient. Now, I’m going to tell you what I think and you tell me if I’m off base.”
Calvin’s leg started bouncing rapidly and he wiped his palms down his thighs. For the first time since he’d ordered me to sit down, he was carefully avoiding making eye contact. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was nervous. I supposed it was possible, but he’d always seemed so confident and self-assured that I couldn’t imagine him being nervous about anything.
“If I had to guess, you have a tendency to choose men bigger than yourself for these…exchanges.” The fact he was choosing his words carefully would’ve put my mind at ease if not for the fact he was right on his first assumption, and I was scared of what would come out of his mouth next. What would I do if he understood what tricks were about for me? What wouldhedo with that knowledge? When I didn’t dispute him, he continued. “You want men who can control you, control the encounter. But you’re smarter than to fully trust them, which is why you hustle at Club 83. Is there someone working with you?”
“No,” I lied. No way in hell was I giving up Max’s name. We had a sweet deal where I tossed him a percentage of anything I made. It was worth it to me because I wasn’t doing it for the money. Cash was my insurance that there would be no mixed messages. I was offering one orgasm, without reciprocation or the possibility of moving the party outside of the bar.
