“But I like it when you batter me,” he teased, forcing one leg between mine as his hands came up around the back of my neck.
“Do we need to revisit last night’s lesson in patience?” I asked, quirking one eyebrow as I did my best to glare at him.
“No, Cal.” I cracked up at his failed attempt to sound contrite. “But you could show me some of thoseother thingsyou mentioned.”
And so I did. We stayed in the shower until the water went cold, then moved back to my bedroom. The comforter was tossed to the floor, the fitted sheet popped off one corner of the bed. The mess didn’t aggravate me the way it usually would. My room was in disarray because of everything we’d done the night before, and I planned to see how much more we could wreck before I had to drag both of us back to reality.
* * *
Over a late lunch,I mentioned my concerns about taking Frankie to The Lodge. He rolled his eyes and told me I was ridiculous. He then admitted he’d been looking forward to tonight since I first mentioned it and was eager to see if any kinks he’d never considered appealed to him. His anticipation grew as the afternoon wore on, to the point I thought about tying him to a chair with a gag in his mouth just to stop the pacing and rambling.
I parked the car a few blocks the opposite direction from Marino’s so Frankie wouldn’t be tempted to pop in quick to see how the restaurant fared without him. I knew he worried that no one had called with a crisis and continually reminded him that was a good thing; it meant his brothers could do their jobs without him hovering. He stiffened as I reached for his hand, and I reminded myself this was all new to him and we were in the area of town where he’d grown up. People who knew his family could be lurking anywhere, and I wanted him to come out when he was ready, not because someone gossiped to his mom over coffee.
There were a few couples ahead of us in the lobby of The Lodge. I tried listening to the spiel the host recited about rules and expectations for the night, but I was distracted by Frankie, who was fighting a losing battle with his nerves. He bounced on the balls of his feet, fidgeting with his tight black T-shirt the entire time. When he overheard the host inform a couple ahead of us that nudity tonight would be limited to above the waist, Frankie let out a sigh of relief. I moved behind my boy, holding him in my arms as I rested my chin on his shoulder so only he could hear me.
“Relax,” I instructed him, my fingers sliding under the hem of his shirt. “No one’s going to make you do anything you’re not ready for. Tonight’s just a way for us to learn more and see if this is somethingwe bothwant to try.” I shuffled him forward as the first couple finished signing some paperwork and was ushered inside. “Tonight’s about learning from people who know about the lifestyle instead of believing everything we see online. Asking questions.”
“I know.” His body sagged against my chest. “It’s weird, because I feel like I’ve opened my eyes and I want to know more. Want to do more. But then I wonder what that says about me. What if we do something and it’s not enough? What happens if one of us realizes we can’t do this?”
“Then we don’t do it,” I promised him. “Like I said this morning, what we have so far is enough for me. That’s why I wasn’t sure we should still come tonight.” When I first approached Frankie, I thought he was the one with skewed ideas about BDSM, but I was realizing it might’ve been me who needed a reality check. I’d been so desperate to justify what turned me on I had clung to the notion of being Dominant, but I was beginning to realize it was just another facet of who I was, not unlike being a father or a gay man.
“Doyouwant to be here?” he asked as we moved forward again. There was only one couple left between us and the host, which meant we needed to figure out which door we were going through.
“As long as you do, I do,” I responded.
Frankie turned in my embrace and kissed my jaw. “Then let’s do this. Let’s see what sort of kinky secrets we can learn about one another.”
We filled out the necessary paperwork, acknowledging that we’d been advised of the rules of the club both for tonight and were invited inside. The lights were low enough they weren’t blinding, but still brighter than what I assumed they were during business hours. Along one wall, there was a small table set up with snacks and refreshments. I was nervous enough I couldn’t imagine eating, but a drink might help my dry mouth, so I led Frankie to the table. He seemed to be on the same page, bypassing the food in favor of a sugary soda.
Frankie’s eyes grew wide as he took in our surrounding inside the dungeon. I’ll admit I was a bit taken aback as well. I assumed calling it the dungeon was some sort of marketing ploy, but nope. The room was painted in dark jewel tones and there were benches, frames, and other contraptions whose use I could only imagine scattered around the room. The lead presenter encouraged us to mingle and ask questions of the various helpers, but Frankie looked ready to fall over so I led him to a chair at the end of the first row.
“It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?” I crouched in front of him, running my hands up and down his thighs. “If it gets to be too much, tell me and we can leave. I don’t want you upset.”
“I’m not,” he assured me. His eyes darted around the room, and he shifted in his chair. I glanced down, noticing he was hard enough his dick strained against the zipper of his faded jeans. “I feel like my brain’s overloaded right now. I don’t know where to look first. I expected a lot of this shi—stuff to turn me off, but seeing it makes it not so weird.”
“I’m sure our hosts will be glad to hear that,” I teased. I pressed my forehead to his, sucking in a deep breath. “Someday, I promise I won’t be so hypersensitive about upsetting you. You asked me to be patient with you, well I need the same in return. Humor me when I seem twitchy and know it’s only because I care.”
“I know you do, Cal.” He placed a hand over my heart. “Part of why I’m open to all this is because it’s you. I trust you to do almost anything to me. I know you won’t hurt me.”
I smiled, not only because of his admission, but because it gave me a thrill every time he called me Cal. I wasn’t sure if he realized it, but that was a nickname he reserved for when we were intimate. Otherwise, he always called me Calvin.
“If you’ll all find a seat, we’re about ready to begin,” the lead presenter announced. I shifted to the chair next to Frankie. He took my hand in his and leaned his head on my shoulder. The presenter looked at us and offered a polite smile.
For some reason, I’d expected a bigger crowd than the nine of us who’d congregated in the dungeon. I wasn’t sure if the intimate setting helped Frankie’s nerves or made him uncomfortable. It was easier to stay anonymous when you were one in a sea of faces.
The presenter explained what BDSM was and what it wasn’t for the first twenty minutes. It seemed to be a bit of overkill, but I supposed it was necessary given the misconceptions created by popular culture. What interested me the most was when he talked about how the lifestyle wasn’t something that only happened in the bedroom and that we were likely exposed to certain aspects every day without realizing it.
I split my attention between listening to the presenter’s explanation of building up to a power exchange relationship and watching Frankie’s reactions. He sat straighter than he’d been earlier, leaning in and nodding from time to time. This was the most animated I’d seen him since we walked into the building.
“As we mentioned at the door, there will be nothing sexual taking place tonight, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a bit of fun.” The presenter motioned to a tall man wearing black jeans, heavy boots, and nothing else. “How many of you have dabbled a bit into the wide world of kink?”
A few of us raised our hands, most hesitating, as though we weren’t sure we should admit that we’d done anything without learning first. One of the points hammered home by the presenter in her introduction was that it was imperative to always play safe, which was why I was reluctant to admit my own participation. The guy with dark purple rope dangling from his fingers laughed. “Don’t be shy. I’m almost certain you won’t find anyone out there who didn’t trysomethingbefore admitting they were curious. Hell, I’d be more nervous if you said you walked in off the street without any verifying you were interested. The reality is, almost everyone has tried something at some point that qualifies as kinky. Tonight, we’re going to give you a sampling of a few of the more in-depth workshops we offer here at The Lodge.
“I know you’re probably eager to continue exploring whatever turned you on to the BDSM lifestyle in the first place, but I’d like to remind you that you need to crawl before you can walk. Please, do not think you can watch a video of something and know all there is to know about a particular kink.” Frankie’s eyes were transfixed on the length of rope in the presenter’s hands. For someone who not too long ago swore he’d never be into being restrained, he seemed awfully interested now. “My name is William and I’ve spent over a decade learning everything I can about the art of Shibari. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I felt confident enough to accept an invitation to teach my first workshop on the subject. I tell you that because I want you to understand we all had to learn the ropes, so to speak.”
Laughter filtered through the room. Frankie gave my hand a squeeze and nodded to the small stage. I leaned closer so we wouldn’t disrupt William as he continued through his introduction. “You trying to tell me you want rope on the list of things we try?”
“Yes please.” Frankie pressed his leg against mine, and we turned back to the presentation. William asked for a volunteer and Frankie’s hand shot into the air, surprising both of us.
