Both parties agree that, despite their close proximity during the time they will spend together as outlined in section two above, their relationship shall remain professional, and they will not engage in any sexual relations or activities of a sexual nature.
Yep, there it is. In black and white. Legally binding. How badly she regrets sleeping with me. The truth about how differently we each emerged from that night hurts more than I careto admit.
My heart does something funny when I see her beautiful script on each line—the same delicate, swooping letters she left for me the morning after. I absentmindedly rub at the tattoo on my chest before I add my signatures to the contract and send it back, sealing my fate and subjecting myself to six months of what I only assume will be complete and utter fucking torture.
Six months of being up close and personal with the one woman I can’t shake. The woman who seems to have seeped into my bones and altered my brain chemistry.
I fire off a few more emails; one to Dani, confirming she has Tyler’s travel details squared away, one to our manager, Emily, thanking her for everything she’s done in this final stretch of tour prep, and one to Ty. The one I write, delete, and re-write sixtimes.
Sure, I could save myself the frustration and have Dani send the schedule out with the travel itinerary, but I’m apparently too desperate to have some kind of connection to Tyler.
I don’t know why this is so hard. It’s an email. I write number one songs for a living, for fuck’s sake.
To: Tyler Norris
CC: Dani Scanlan
From: Eric Ambrose
Subject: Schedule
Ty,
I’ve attached the final tour schedule. The first tab contains the cities, venues, and dates, the second contains our travel itinerary, and thethird contains a bunch of shit that you can ignore. It’s all stuff for the road crew.
Dani will be sending your flight and hotel information for your stay in Dallas in a separate email.
And here is where I’ve stopped. I want to ask her to dinner or suggest we meet up. One, to work out what our interview schedule will be, and two—and most importantly—so that I can see her again. Just…be near her. Lose myself in those crystalline blue eyes. Pound another nail into my proverbial coffin.
But I don’t.
I end with the lamest fucking thing I can end it with (“Let me know if you have any last-minute questions”) and click send.
Dani follows up a few minutes later with Ty’s itinerary for her stay in Dallas, to which Ty sends a heartfelt thank you, completely ignoring my email altogether, and my guts twist. I understand her hesitation to let me in, but I didn’t expect it to affect me this much.
I close my laptop and toss is on the couch beside me before standing and grabbing the keys to my truck to head to the last day of rehearsals. One more day before a quick three-day break, followed by opening night, and this entire asinine plan of mine to spend more time with Ty inevitably blows up in my face.
Do I want to release a biography?Fuckno.
I’ve spent my career, the last five years especially, working very hard to keep myselfoutof the public eye. Wasthis the only thing I could think of to spend more time with Tyler? Yes. Yes, it was.
I never said I was a smart man.
Desperate? Clearly.
Smart? Clearly not.
My personal life might be a shitshow, but rehearsals are flawless and I’m glad for the distraction. Thankful that as soon as my ass hits the throne, everything else fades away and I’m left with only my mix of the click track, Max’s guitar, and Josh’s vocals in my in-ear monitors. Thankful for my ability to concentrate and do the one thing I’m really fucking good at.
“Should we swap ‘Black’ and ‘Moth to the Flame?’” Josh asks as we gather at center stage to chat about how we’re feeling about the set list for opening night on Friday. “Or are we feeling alright?”
“Would that give your voice a break?” I ask. “It makes no difference to me, but I know ‘Moth to the Flame’ is more difficult vocally.”
“It might be better,” Josh says. “I’ll think about it and decide before Friday. Maybe we can try that order out in sound check and see how it feels.”
Other than that, we all feel confident we’re ready. So far, our latest album,Suspicions,has been a massive success, and I’m looking forward to playing the new songs on this tour. Not that the staples aren’t a good time—the crowds always love belting out the hits—but I always look forward to a new album coming and introducing new tracks to the fold. Seeing what people are drawn to.
I pull my phone out of my pocket for the first time since I got to rehearsals and start scrolling through my emails, my heart leaping when I see an email from Tyler.
